Premier League 2016/17

[Brown Nose]

Net spends so far this summer: http://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/premier-league/transfers/wettbewerb/GB1

Two clubs in profit (Soton and Hull). We're the lowest net spenders (so far).

City +£1.45m
Arsenal +£44.2m
Spurs +£22,02m
Man City +£103.7m
Man Utd +£68m
Soton -£40.25m
West Ham +£2.81m
Liverpool +£31.28m
Stoke +£17.67m
Chelsea +£38.93m
Everton +£8.08m
Swansea +£2.98m
Watford +£12.54m
West Brom +£5.53m
Palace +£13.01m
Bournemouth +£13.35m
Sunderland +£6.04m
Burnley +£3.66m
Boro +£19.3m
Hull -£4.59m

 

[Blaarev]

It's hard to be an agent.

http://newsthump.com/2016/08/09/paul-pogbas-agent-hospitalised-after-wanking-himself-into-a-coma/

 

[Blaarev]

 

[bocadillo]

You will remember my Tottering colleague who had it all worked out that his team was going to win all of their last five games last season and that City would only get 2 points from our last five games, leaving them as champions. At the end of the season I chose just to congratulate him for finishing third in a two horse race rather than any great measure of lording it over him; he seemed upset enough without me adding to it.

Well, I am afraid that I have unwittingly upset him again and I'm not sure how it came to happen. I was simply sitting in the canteen, eating my sandwiches during my break when he sidled over towards me. He's not really spoken to me since May so I was a bit surprised when he sat down next to me. I wasn't even going to mention football but he told me that he had been thinking about the new season. He apparently knows that this season Leicester have no chance of winning the league, although somewhat decently he tells me that we will get out of the Champions League groups and into the knockout stage. I replied that I preferred to wait to see what happened rather than stressing about such things.

I'm afraid that I do not really understand the next bit. He told me that everything pointed towards one of the big clubs winning the league this year; there is apparently no chance that Burnley, Middlesbrough or Hull will do 'a Leicester' and the trophy is destined for one of the big clubs and definitely nobody else. I told him that I didn't agree and thought that Totttering were at least in with a chance. He was suddenly silent, dumbstruck. It seemed that he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. And then just as suddenly he was on his feet and out of the door. I'm sure I have upset him but I don't know how.

I look forward to seeing him again in another few months if he has thought of anything worthwhile to say.

 

[Blaarev]

Is this the definition of a full kit wanker?

 

[Cate Fox]

View attachment 13075 Is this the definition of a full kit wanker?

More like a half kit, the fat feck

 

[fitz]

You will remember my Tottering colleague who had it all worked out that his team was going to win all of their last five games last season and that City would only get 2 points from our last five games, leaving them as champions. At the end of the season I chose just to congratulate him for finishing third in a two horse race rather than any great measure of lording it over him; he seemed upset enough without me adding to it.

Well, I am afraid that I have unwittingly upset him again and I'm not sure how it came to happen. I was simply sitting in the canteen, eating my sandwiches during my break when he sidled over towards me. He's not really spoken to me since May so I was a bit surprised when he sat down next to me. I wasn't even going to mention football but he told me that he had been thinking about the new season. He apparently knows that this season Leicester have no chance of winning the league, although somewhat decently he tells me that we will get out of the Champions League groups and into the knockout stage. I replied that I preferred to wait to see what happened rather than stressing about such things.

I'm afraid that I do not really understand the next bit. He told me that everything pointed towards one of the big clubs winning the league this year; there is apparently no chance that Burnley, Middlesbrough or Hull will do 'a Leicester' and the trophy is destined for one of the big clubs and definitely nobody else. I told him that I didn't agree and thought that Totttering were at least in with a chance. He was suddenly silent, dumbstruck. It seemed that he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. And then just as suddenly he was on his feet and out of the door. I'm sure I have upset him but I don't know how.

I look forward to seeing him again in another few months if he has thought of anything worthwhile to say.

My favourite is people saying nothing points to a surprise this season. It didn't last one either. Manure had some Dutch tactician, Chelsea had the bellend one, Arse had the reliable professor yaffle, Manchester City had a good coach and Liverpool won something before I was even born. Even Dutch Steve was expected to do well at Noocarsel. Facts are we got our Clownio who was an embarrassment who lost to a country as good as Scotland and we were ****ed. We weren't ****ed.

 

[Blaarev]

My favourite is people saying nothing points to a surprise this season. It didn't last one either. Manure had some Dutch tactician, Chelsea had the bellend one, Arse had the reliable professor yaffle, Manchester City had a good coach and Liverpool won something before I was even born. Even Dutch Steve was expected to do well at Noocarsel. Facts are we got our Clownio who was an embarrassment who lost to a country as good as Scotland and we were ****ed. We weren't ****ed.

We didn't even give a ****. #nofuchsgiven

 

[Cate Fox]

My favourite is people saying nothing points to a surprise this season. It didn't last one either. Arse had the reliable professor yaffle

Dont insult Bagpuss, Emily will cry.

 

[camberwell fox]

View attachment 13075 Is this the definition of a full kit wanker?

I doubt he could perform such an act.

Finding in amongst his male gunt would be quite a challenge wouldn't it?

Maybe he could fart to give himself a clue or if this failed throw a bag of flower at his nether region and look for the damp spot?

 

[Matt_B]

My favourite is people saying nothing points to a surprise this season. It didn't last one either. Manure had some Dutch tactician, Chelsea had the bellend one, Arse had the reliable professor yaffle, Manchester City had a good coach and Liverpool won something before I was even born. Even Dutch Steve was expected to do well at Noocarsel. Facts are we got our Clownio who was an embarrassment who lost to a country as good as Scotland and we were ****ed. We weren't ****ed.

Surely if something pointed to a surprise, it would no longer be a surprise?

 

[fitz]

Surely if something pointed to a surprise, it would no longer be a surprise?

Depends on how easily surprised you are. Kids get a kinder surprise these days with a picture of whats in the ****ing egg these days.

 

[camberwell fox]

Surely if something pointed to a surprise, it would no longer be a surprise?

That would of course depend on the timing of the pointing out.

 

[camberwell fox]

Depends on how easily surprised you are. Kids get a kinder surprise these days with a picture of whats in the ****ing egg these days.

Is that a double entendre?

 

[Brown Nose]

Extraordinary set up from Man City at the moment - as Sunderland equalise against them. Loads of passing with no end product.

They've got Kolorov at centre back, Clichy in midfield and Sagna as second striker. No Hart, Silva started as a central midfielder, and so on.

I suspect that Pep is off his head. I don't think he's got a good enough squad to piss about like he is.

 

[Motown Fox]

Man Utd laying down a marker.
Beat Bournemouth away 3-1 (with thanks from me ☺)
Zlatan scores again.
Perhaps the lyrics to this song are not true after all.

 

[Blaarev]

 

[Lako42]

Zlatan scores again

 

[bocadillo]

Zlatan scores again

Season over, take the photographs, deliver the league trophy to Old Trafford now.

 

[Motown Fox]

Going back to their roots?