Pre Match Crystal Palace v Leicester

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Gonna rip our heads off and jizz down the hole

4 or 5 nil home win
 
Going to get bummed live on sky
 
Might go to church or something instead. Do they do afternoon bantz?
 
I'm not a betting person but if I was I'd see who hasn't scored for Palace in over 100 games and have a £10 on them, for a double whammy I'd also have £10 on Schmeichel providing the assist
Jordan Ayew hasn't scored in something like 35 games now.

He'll definitely get at least one, Zaha always scores against us, Benteke has a good record against us too and it's literally odsonne eduard will score too after we turned him down in the summer.

We're gonna need to score a hell of a lot ourselves if we are to get anything from this which clearly won't happen.

It already has a bit of a Paulo Sousa v Portsmouth feel to it to be honest.
 
I'm not a betting person but if I was I'd see who hasn't scored for Palace in over 100 games and have a £10 on them, for a double whammy I'd also have £10 on Schmeichel providing the assist
Good shout. Ayew (2nd min), Benteke hat trick (16, 24, 72), Édouard (63), some 15 year old with a quadruple-barrelled name who’s never played before (90+3).

Palace 6-1.
 
Good shout. Ayew (2nd min), Benteke hat trick (16, 24, 72), Édouard (63), some 15 year old with a quadruple-barrelled name who’s never played before (90+3).

Palace 6-1.
You forgot the double leg amputee centre forward who is making his debut.

7-1
 
Edouard to score and run over to Rodgers and celebrate in front of him with a wagging finger.

Vardy to score a late, irrelevant, goal.

Rodgers to say: “we struggled a wee bit with the pace of the game in the first half but we were much better in the second and are unlucky not to have taken more from the game”
 
Please, please don't play Soumare. Or Amartey. Or Daka. Or Dewsbury-Hall. Or Vestergaard. Or Bertrand. Or Thomas.

Schmeichel
Castagne
Soyuncu
Kolo Toure
A dustpan and brush
Tielemans
A dustbin bag with some gravel inside
Ndidi
Barnes
Maddison
Vardy
 
Kasper
Ricardo, Evans, Soyuncu, Bertrand
Lookman, Ndidi, Youri, Barnes
NACHO
Vardy

0-4 away win, bed wetters get a chance to dry out their sheets.
 
If Nacho doesn’t start, Brendan can **** off
 
Vardy’s start to the season has been one of the very few positives so far. If we can find a way of getting Nacho and Lookman on the pitch with him at the same time then at least we might stand a chance of outscoring our opponent because we sure as shit ain’t keeping a clean sheet.
 
Billy the Fish
Buster Gonad
Fatha Bacon
Mutha Bacon
Postman Plod
Baxter Basics
Terry ****witt
Roger Mellie
Johnny Fartpants
Finbarr Saunders
Lawrence Logic
 
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