IAN HOLLOWAY'S AMAZING END OF SEASON PRESS CONFERENCE
On celebrating:
I rung Kenny Jackett straight away to congratulate him on getting Swansea promoted and he said "I'm waiting to get my goalie out of jail". You can't even celebrate these days, can you?
On football shorts:
I tell you another crazy, crazy, crazy rule. We want women to come to football don't we? I think they're bloody pretty - a damn sight prettier than any bloke I've seen.
You talk to women about footballers and what do they like - they like legs and our shorts are getting longer. We should go back to the days when half your a*** was hanging out.
I can't believe those shorts are that long!
Why can't you let players lift up their shirts? Who is it disrespecting? What's wrong with letting a load of young ladies see a good-looking lad take his shirt off?
They'd have to watch other teams, though - because my team is as ugly as hell.
On the reporter who claimed QPR defender Danny Shittu would be sold:
Whoever that was, I'd like to pull his pants down and slap him on the a*** like I used to do to my kids. Apparently I'm not even allowed to do that any more otherwise I'll have the health and safety on to me giving it the old 'hello'.
The world's gone mad. Tony Blair won the election, so why's he gotta resign? I think the Conservative fella should. If he couldn't win an election with a failing government, or a flailing government, what's the matter with him? Get out you ain't no good. I know we're not talking football...we are, aren't we?
holloway is bonkers he comes out with the most random stuff, most of it isnt football related, for a manager 
