if only the excuse would work......

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A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their
passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they
made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they
fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he
told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the
grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into
his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my
secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and
didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying *******!
You've been playing golf!".
 
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