If you are a masochist song to tune of If I Were A Rich Man
If you are a masochist,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long You'd biddy biddy bum.
If you are a masochist
You always have to get hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If You were a biddy masochist,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the town.
A fine tin roof with a real wooden basement below.
There would be one long staircase just going in,
And one even longer going down,
Leading to the basement shackle's, just for show.
I'd fill my house with whips and chains a rack and handcuffs
For the town to see and hear.
And each loud "arrrrgghhhhh" and "uuurrggggghhhhhhhh" and "oooowwwww"
Would land like a trumpet on the ear,
As if to say "Here lives a masochist."