People That Piss You Off

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You could offer blood.....

''Actually we're burning a virgin on the local park next sunday if you would like to come along'', usually gets rid of them.
 
Leicester fans.

When we win we're the best team in the world.
When we lose we're the worst team in the world.

When the reality is always somewhere in the middle.

It's like trying to get your boat across a river when your unruly passengers are threatening to capsize you. Rocking the boat one way with over expectation and pressure on the team and the other way with unnecessary criticism of poorer performances which reinforces the negative vibe when losses occur.

I make no apologies for wringing every ounce of enjoyment out of our victories and trying to maintain perspective when things don't go well.
 
Twats who just cross the road and make you slow down or pull up. Usually wear baseball caps and nylon tracky bottoms. If they really want to pisss you off they they raise their hand in acknowledgement. ****s
 
The twat of a bint in her Scenic who flashed me repeatedly to get out of her way on the A45 in to Coventry. I doing 60 ffs and about to turn right at the approacing island. I do hope her whiplash is not too severe after I slammed my brakes on 200 yards from the island.

Also the cnut in his pimped up BMW 316 who actually pulled up beside me to tell me I still had my fog lights on! Usually, I would have turned them off immediately, it annoys me too. But not for this fecker nooo way.

Stay of the roads today - I'm hot.
 
The 6 people in my shop now who seem to have mistaken it for a Community Centre and are holding a conference in the middle of it
 
The 6 people in my shop now who seem to have mistaken it for a Community Centre and are holding a conference in the middle of it

Keep 'em sweet - that's a whole Lemon Drizzle Cake you're looking at right there

Close the deal, H, close the deal
 
They've probably heard about the whole poached egg fiasco, and won't go anywhere near any food you have to offer

Can't blame 'em really

Could be or maybe I should put some clothes on
 
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Could be or maybe I should put some clothes on

Camp it up a bit HF , a bit of showmanship, a touch of theatre, y'know the sort of thing and before long they will be eating out of your hand or should I say off your plate!



Tee'd up nicely for someone.
 
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the dozy old hag on the checkout at tescos today.
"Have you got a rabbit?" she asks as she scans the bag of rabbit food....

ffs
 
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