Random News Article Thread

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Before opening this thread, I sometimes try to guess what the article might be about. I was nowhere near on this one.
I opened the door to the garage and Silas was being bummed by what I can only describe as a sort of glowing, shadowy thing. It was obviously a ghost. The spook looked at me and thats when it hit me it was Michael Jackson and it was making that bizarre woo-hoo noise that Jacko used to make.
 

John Dillermand has an extraordinary penis. So extraordinary, in fact, that it can perform rescue operations, etch murals, hoist a flag and even steal ice-cream from children.
 
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Championship

P Pld Pts
1Leeds Utd3882
2Leicester3782
3Ipswich3881
4Southampton3673
5West Brom3866
6Norwich City3861
7Hull City3758
8Coventry City3757
9Preston 3756
10Middlesbro3854
11Cardiff City3853
12Sunderland3848
13Watford3848
14Bristol City3847
15Swansea City3846
16Millwall3843
17Blackburn 3842
18Plymouth 3841
19Stoke City3841
20QPR3840
21Birmingham3839
22Huddersfield3839
23Sheffield W3838
24Rotherham Utd3820

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