The quote thread

[Brauny Blue]

British tennis player Chris Eaton (world ranking 661:icon_bigg)

......." If i beat Tursunov, i might splash out on some duct tape to keep my car wing mirror on "

 

[Brauny Blue]

Robin Williams

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose".

 

[Brauny Blue]

" this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria, i saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing "

Pat Glenn......weightlifting commentator.

 

[Brauny Blue]

After all, if you remove the gambling, where is the fun in watching a bunch of horses being whipped by midgets?
- Ian O'Doherty, not a fan of horse racing, "The Irish Independent"

 

[fcukcov]

Commentator on RTE Irish television during the Germany v Austria game in this years championships….

“and Germany are Marching through Austria once again.”

 

[Chuck T Masala]

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable' - PAUL GASCOIGNE

 

[fcukcov]

"I can't say anything positive about the boy. He is impossible to work with" - Former Brighton manager Mark McGhee offers his frank assessment of Colin Kazim-Kazim (nee Richards).

 

[fcukcov]

"Those two defenders are known as the twin towers. And they were destroyed there" - RTE's Bill O'Herlihy glances at the manual marked 'Political Correctness For Commentators', and wipes his arse with it.

 

[Chuck T Masala]

The referee is wearing the same yellow-coloured top as the Slovakian goalkeeper. I'd have thought the UEFA official would have spotted that - but perhaps he's been deafened by the noise of this crowd.

Motty

 

[Melton Fox]

"He must have thought the keeper was a giant yellow banana running out at him like that"

Mark Lawrenson on Paul Robinson's yellow attire.

 

[The Major]

There are loads on here;
http://www.compsoc.man.ac.uk/~heth/funnies/coleman.html

Here's some of the best;

"Watch her spread her legs and show her class"
Jimmy McGee on the last 300 metres of a long distance final
(Olympics)

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"
Stuart Pearce (1992)

"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence."
NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning

 

[Brauny Blue]

"Rome wasn't built in a day... but I wasn't on that particular job".

Brian Clough

 

[Melton Fox]

“Airbourne are more fun than playing nude Twister with blonde twins.” - People magazine

 

[Melton Fox]

My three year old Daughter just said "Daddy, I like watching Aligators" :icon_bigg

Just as Gladiators was starting :icon_lol:

 

[Hammond Organ]

"I am glad I left my last job, it has made me feel really emaciated"

Ex-Wife

 

[Jeff]

My three year old Daughter just said "Daddy, I like watching Aligators" :icon_bigg

Just as Gladiators was starting :icon_lol:

My niece like watching the X-factory.

 

[Yorkshire Vixen]

me to my 3yr old niece - 'stop eating with your mouth full''
her to me - 'but you cant eat when your mouth is empty silly :icon_roll'
me to her - 'you know what i meant so do it yeah '
her - 'er no you got it wrong youre silly'



:icon_roll

 

[Melton Fox]

I think you'd make a good Lezza.

 

[homer]

Just put it in with the rest of them - no will ever read it anyway

 

[consty]

"Big brother is watching you"
George Orwell
"You are watching big brother"
Channel 4
"Who the feck's George Orwell?"
The contestants of big brother