Wagatha Christie

[taupe]

Nothing at all to do with the ladies' money-grabbing legal advisers then?

Not in the first instance, no.

 

[bocadillo]

Not in the first instance, no.

You were referring to the "escalation", not the "first instance".

 

[give_us_a_wave]

I don't know what's worse. The continuing presence of this saga about **** all. Or the fact that it's the main headline in the country's second biggest selling newspaper. No wonder so much youtube generated bullshit gets traction if this is the level the press operates at.

The 21st century continues to be a vile & pointless pit of horseshit.

In the real world this would have been settled with a bottle to the head & a kick in the **** in an alley next to some shit nightclub at 3am.

 

[Robin127]

I reckon US fans would love Vards too; his windup, piss take pitch antics would find a new and appreciative audience.

Until the governing body clamps down on it, not really the thing that the "family values" brigade will want to see.

 

[give_us_a_wave]

Until the governing body clamps down on it, not really the thing that the "family values" brigade will want to see.

I've often wondered about that. Which family are they always referring to ?

My family, for instance, are a right bunch of ****s

 

[camberwell fox]

I've often wondered about that. Which family are they always referring to ?

My family, for instance, are a right bunch of ****s

I can believe that.

I guess you mean ALL of them though?

 

[give_us_a_wave]

I can believe that.

I guess you mean ALL of them though?

Pretty much all yes.

Apart from my mam really. She's the long suffering eye of the storm.

From that generation though there's an aunt who's been married for over 40 years & a complete whore for over 50. Her other half is a worthless pisshead. We tried adding up how many times she'd shagged some bloke behind his back & had to stop at 11 as we couldn't remember the names. & thats just the times she got caught. It also doesn't include the random blow jobs in the toilets at the bingo.

From my generation there's my useless alcoholic brother with the IQ of a twiglet who got all 5 of his kids taken into care . Marrying a prostitute didn't help (there's a theme here it seems, apart from the aunt did it all for free)

Then there's my cousin the bent copper caught redistributing seized drugs to different dealers & taking a cut.

My mam's brother ran away to Canada rather than pay to bring up his child after he got his girlfriend pregnant.

To top it all off, some years ago I researched my mam's family tree to have a chart done for her birthday.

That was how, in her 70s she finally found out that her mother was, in fact, her dad's second wife.

He ran off from the first one taking my gran with him. She'd been his secretary & they'd been at it for years on the quiet. He divorced at a distance & abandoned the daughter from the first marriage. The half sister my mam lived her whole life never knowing she had.

As I said. A bunch of ****s.

& that's only a sample.

 

[Bezu Fache Fox]

Pretty much all yes.

Apart from my mam really. She's the long suffering eye of the storm.

From that generation though there's an aunt who's been married for over 40 years & a complete whore for over 50. Her other half is a worthless pisshead. We tried adding up how many times she'd shagged some bloke behind his back & had to stop at 11 as we couldn't remember the names. & thats just the times she got caught. It also doesn't include the random blow jobs in the toilets at the bingo.

From my generation there's my useless alcoholic brother with the IQ of a twiglet who got all 5 of his kids taken into care . Marrying a prostitute didn't help (there's a theme here it seems, apart from the aunt did it all for free)

Then there's my cousin the bent copper caught redistributing seized drugs to different dealers & taking a cut.

My mam's brother ran away to Canada rather than pay to bring up his child after he got his girlfriend pregnant.

To top it all off, some years ago I researched my mam's family tree to have a chart done for her birthday.

That was how, in her 70s she finally found out that her mother was, in fact, her dad's second wife.

He ran off from the first one taking my gran with him. She'd been his secretary & they'd been at it for years on the quiet. He divorced at a distance & abandoned the daughter from the first marriage. The half sister my mam lived her whole life never knowing she had.

As I said. A bunch of ****s.

& that's only a sample.

Genuinely, I'd love it if you wrote an autobiography.

 

[camberwell fox]

Pretty much all yes.

Apart from my mam really. She's the long suffering eye of the storm.

From that generation though there's an aunt who's been married for over 40 years & a complete whore for over 50. Her other half is a worthless pisshead. We tried adding up how many times she'd shagged some bloke behind his back & had to stop at 11 as we couldn't remember the names. & thats just the times she got caught. It also doesn't include the random blow jobs in the toilets at the bingo.

From my generation there's my useless alcoholic brother with the IQ of a twiglet who got all 5 of his kids taken into care . Marrying a prostitute didn't help (there's a theme here it seems, apart from the aunt did it all for free)

Then there's my cousin the bent copper caught redistributing seized drugs to different dealers & taking a cut.

My mam's brother ran away to Canada rather than pay to bring up his child after he got his girlfriend pregnant.

To top it all off, some years ago I researched my mam's family tree to have a chart done for her birthday.

That was how, in her 70s she finally found out that her mother was, in fact, her dad's second wife.

He ran off from the first one taking my gran with him. She'd been his secretary & they'd been at it for years on the quiet. He divorced at a distance & abandoned the daughter from the first marriage. The half sister my mam lived her whole life never knowing she had.

As I said. A bunch of ****s.

& that's only a sample.

Are you related to Boris Johnson?

 

[give_us_a_wave]

Genuinely, I'd love it if you wrote an autobiography.

I'd be a minor character in it.

 

[give_us_a_wave]

Are you related to Boris Johnson?

If I was I'd be in the house of lords by now.

No. The family specialises in localised low level ****ery. Nothing funded by the tax payer or that brings the whole country into disrepute.

 

[Robin127]

Which family are they always referring to ?

They would be the same ones that keep on about First Amendment rights to free speech and living "free" of government but then want to ban books and prevent certain freedoms of expression because they don't align with their own narrow views of how people should live and what they should read.

Funnily enough it's the same people you see after midday on a Sunday in the local Walmart etc. or restaurant dressed to the nines, whereas before those time said shops etc. are like ghost towns.

 

[pork pie fox]

Genuinely, I'd love it if you wrote an autobiography.

I’ve thought this before, too. I’d buy a copy.

 

[taupe]

some years ago I researched my mam's family tree

Tempting fate. There be all manner of shit in wait for most folk there I'd guess. Or at least stuff to smack the face of a commonly believed happy family narrative.

I'm a literal bastard (I knew that) but my sister did some family tree stuff and there was stuff there that most wish had stayed there, forgotten branches. I've got family in Rugby for instance... how can I live that down?

 

[camberwell fox]

Tempting fate. There be all manner of shit in wait for most folk there I'd guess. Or at least stuff to smack the face of a commonly believed happy family narrative.

I'm a literal bastard (I knew that) but my sister did some family tree stuff and there was stuff there that most wish had stayed there, forgotten branches. I've got family in Rugby for instance... how can I live that down?

Tough call TBH.

 

[Miles Away]

His aunt sounds nice.

 

[fox58]

His aunt sounds nice.

I was wondering where she plays bingo

 

[taupe]

I was wondering where she plays bingo

Wherever there's cock by the sounds of it.

 

[pork pie fox]

Wherever there's cock by the sounds of it.

New bingo centre to open in Cockermouth town centre

A new bingo and entertainment centre is going to open in Cockermouth town centre.

www.newsandstar.co.uk

 

[taupe]

That was an awfully quick reply. I'm not sure I want to know why.