Heskey to return?

[Mouse]

This thread has taken a bizarre turn.

Wayne Brown's on the forum :icon_eek:

 

[Blue Maniac]

Maybe you should go and take a lesson in humour, because you certainly don't come across as somebody attempting to take the piss, but just chuck insults in my direction.

Not really, I've never actually explicitly called you a racist, or anything at all. I've certainly suggested it, but never specifically said it. Are you not then?

 

[Macky]

I said I once voted for BNP.
BM and Mackey now think it's funny to slander my good name at every opportunity. There's a thin line between humour and insult.
They have crossed it many a time.
Pair of *****.:icon_roll

Oh right, BNP eh? I never knew you'd voted for the fascists. I was just being a ****

 

[Ian Marshall]

Sh it! We're second bottom!

 

[tedfoxxx]

Sh it! We're second bottom!

Sh it! Whats with all this Sh it business? :icon_lol:

 

[Ian Marshall]

All the cool cats are doing it mate. In fact, should that be kool kats? Or cool kats? or kool cats? or koolkatz? Aaaaaaaaaargh.

I just had an email from pizza express offering me 2 takeaway pizzas for a tenner. Its friday, I love pizza and I've forgotten my lunch. That is fate right? I mean, this is exactly the situation the word 'fate' was created for, right?

My smoke alarm kept me up all last night. It runs off the mains and battery (which did appeal to me at the time). So anyway, its going off at 3am and I check the house, no sign of smoke and stuff. No probs. Happens about 10 times before I completely lose my rag and start hacking at it with a screwdriver before realising I should probably turn the mains off, which I do, also turning the light off so I cant see what I'm doing. I manage to find a torch (much banging later) and turn my attentions back to destroying this device. I finally get it off and get the thing to shut up by placing it in my bedroom instead with the battery in. At this point it wants to keep reminding me its there with the occasional beep and much flashing of lights (very impressive for something I got for free from the fire brigade boys). Anyway, I rip the battery out and the thing sodding lives on. I was just about to destroy it altogether when I notice in large letters a warning about radioactive contents.

That alarm is meant to kill me but I swear its trying to destroy my life.

So I have an alarm with no source of power, keeping me awake, which I throw in the spare room. But I still think I can hear it, but I'm not sure if I'm imagining it. My cat has by this point decided it must be morning and wants feeding, but he cant be fed as he's in for an operation today (all the best Morris). He's having his nadgers erm... denadgered. He'll be de-masculated, which is a bit how I felt when I was constantly being bested by a device comprising of plastic, evil, a noisemaking thing and some radioactive sh it (there it is again).

For the rest of the night I had the other half going on at me claiming it was probably carbon monoxide (what the fu ck? - see I can do it with other words) and that despite my CO alarm not going off, my smoke alarm had picked it up and we might be dead in the morning.

I pointed out that it was now 5 am and I had to be up at 7 am anyway and that I was going to take the chance of sleeping for 2 hours. She was of course welcome to stay up and ensure I didn't die. That didn't go down well.

Happy ending anyway, alarm now seems to have STFU, house hasn't burnt down, we're both still alive and Morris - well, its not a happy ending all round I suppose.

Still, 2 pizzas for lunch can't be bad.

Is there an award around here for dullest post? Having asked that, if there is, I reckon I can do better than this.

 

[escos66]

All the cool cats are doing it mate. In fact, should that be kool kats? Or cool kats? or kool cats? or koolkatz? Aaaaaaaaaargh.

I just had an email from pizza express offering me 2 takeaway pizzas for a tenner. Its friday, I love pizza and I've forgotten my lunch. That is fate right? I mean, this is exactly the situation the word 'fate' was created for, right?

My smoke alarm kept me up all last night. It runs off the mains and battery (which did appeal to me at the time). So anyway, its going off at 3am and I check the house, no sign of smoke and stuff. No probs. Happens about 10 times before I completely lose my rag and start hacking at it with a screwdriver before realising I should probably turn the mains off, which I do, also turning the light off so I cant see what I'm doing. I manage to find a torch (much banging later) and turn my attentions back to destroying this device. I finally get it off and get the thing to shut up by placing it in my bedroom instead with the battery in. At this point it wants to keep reminding me its there with the occasional beep and much flashing of lights (very impressive for something I got for free from the fire brigade boys). Anyway, I rip the battery out and the thing sodding lives on. I was just about to destroy it altogether when I notice in large letters a warning about radioactive contents.

That alarm is meant to kill me but I swear its trying to destroy my life.

So I have an alarm with no source of power, keeping me awake, which I throw in the spare room. But I still think I can hear it, but I'm not sure if I'm imagining it. My cat has by this point decided it must be morning and wants feeding, but he cant be fed as he's in for an operation today (all the best Morris). He's having his nadgers erm... denadgered. He'll be de-masculated, which is a bit how I felt when I was constantly being bested by a device comprising of plastic, evil, a noisemaking thing and some radioactive sh it (there it is again).

For the rest of the night I had the other half going on at me claiming it was probably carbon monoxide (what the fu ck? - see I can do it with other words) and that despite my CO alarm not going off, my smoke alarm had picked it up and we might be dead in the morning.

I pointed out that it was now 5 am and I had to be up at 7 am anyway and that I was going to take the chance of sleeping for 2 hours. She was of course welcome to stay up and ensure I didn't die. That didn't go down well.

Happy ending anyway, alarm now seems to have STFU, house hasn't burnt down, we're both still alive and Morris - well, its not a happy ending all round I suppose.

Still, 2 pizzas for lunch can't be bad.

Is there an award around here for dullest post? Having asked that, if there is, I reckon I can do better than this.

So is Heskey coming then or not?

 

[tedfoxxx]

So is Heskey coming then or not?

Maybe what he was wrestling with wasn't a smoke alarm, it was actually a Heskey detector. Or a Heskey detectey.

 

[Hazzman]

So is Heskey coming then or not?

Possibly when that tossbag of a shite footballer Petrov pounced on him with a sexual assualt last night after scoring.

 

[Boy Genius]

And BG :icon_bigg You honestly expect people not to take the piss when you vote for neo-Nazis?

my posts are meant as insults though!

 

[drummindefender]

Dodgy source told me he has spoke to us, but Villa dont want to let him go. Make of that what you will.

 

[Ian Marshall]

So is Heskey coming then or not?

I can't shrug the feeling that the smoke alarm knows something - or is involved in some way. I've wrestled with the imagery of it all. It really is a rich tapestry of interwoven threads with a large amount of variables.

The conclusion though is that with John Carew and Emile Heskey both rubbish, AV will keep both to have safety in numbers and churn out stuff like 'having x on the bench forces y to play better' - competition for places etc, when really they need to go out and sign a striker in my opinion.

I can't see Emile rocking up here yet, but at the end of the season or when Villa have a new manager in place permanently, that could of course change.

I've seen in a couple of places we've been marked with Luke Varney, which could be rubbish, or perhaps our new policy for signing strikers is that they must be from Leicester and a bit sh it (there it is again).

I actually like both Heskey and Varney.

 

[tedfoxxx]

I actually like both Heskey and Varney.

Varney was at a Quorn game with the chairman a couple of weeks ago. My mate, who ran the line, got to have a meal and a drink with him afterwards and said he was incredibly nice.

Varney must be in good spirits about signing for Leicester, his home town club.

First the Fryatt scoop and now this, I've got some serious inside info.

 

[escos66]

I can't shrug the feeling that the smoke alarm knows something - or is involved in some way. I've wrestled with the imagery of it all. It really is a rich tapestry of interwoven threads with a large amount of variables.

The conclusion though is that with John Carew and Emile Heskey both rubbish, AV will keep both to have safety in numbers and churn out stuff like 'having x on the bench forces y to play better' - competition for places etc, when really they need to go out and sign a striker in my opinion.

I can't see Emile rocking up here yet, but at the end of the season or when Villa have a new manager in place permanently, that could of course change.

I've seen in a couple of places we've been marked with Luke Varney, which could be rubbish, or perhaps our new policy for signing strikers is that they must be from Leicester and a bit sh it (there it is again).

I actually like both Heskey and Varney.

Fair enough. And please let us know how Morris gets on.

 

[Ian Marshall]

Fair enough. And please let us know how Morris gets on.

Don't worry, I plan to capture the moments of his waking despair and realisation he is without cojones for posterity (and hopefully some prosperity too, RELEASE THOSE LUCKY ((ginger)) BALLS) and plaster them all over facebook.

 

[jb5000]

I said I once voted for BNP.
BM and Mackey now think it's funny to slander my good name at every opportunity. There's a thin line between humour and insult.
They have crossed it many a time.
Pair of *****.:icon_roll

Ah, so you are a massive racist then. Or you're as thick as pig sh1t.

Choose.
Of course, you could be both.

 

[Macky]

My smoke alarm kept me awake so I took it down, boo hoo, and my cat is having his bollocks chopped off, waaaaah waaaah boo hoo poor me, pizza makes you a fat bastard etc etc

Make sure you replace the smoke alarm, seriously, they do save lives. Forget stuffing your face with pizza, go and get a new smoke alarm.

 

[Ian Marshall]

Make sure you replace the smoke alarm, seriously, they do save lives. Forget stuffing your face with pizza, go and get a new smoke alarm.

I've got 2 others in the house mate which are working fine, this one has just gone haywire.

My soon-to-be father-in-law was a fireman until fairly recently so its probably just about the only thing in my house thats done right!

 

[homer]

Make sure you replace the smoke alarm, seriously, they do save lives. Forget stuffing your face with pizza, go and get a new smoke alarm.

In other safety news: Look right, look left, then right again, when seeking to cross the road

 

[Ian Marshall]

Dodgy source told me he has spoke to us, but Villa dont want to let him go. Make of that what you will.

Villa have fairly big injury concerns over Agbonlahor and Carew, neither of which seem to be able to shake niggles, so I can't see Heskey moving before the window closes either.

The approach might be to sell DJ, claim Fryup is injured, Howard has gone AWOL and remind them of N'Guessan's Frenchness so we can get Bruno in on an emergency loan in March or something.