Just spotted an albino Dalmatian it’s the least I could do for him
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician
I was addicted to the Hokey Cokey but I've turn myself around
I say no to alcohol, but it just won't listen
Just watched a documentary on how ships are built, it was riveting
A good book is like a puppy, easy to pick up, but hard to put down
Has anyone else noticed that everyone that drives slowly is an idiot and those that drive too fast are maniacs
Today is the day for definite decisions, or is it
had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs, he wasn't happy
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, then it hit me
Married men should learn to forget their mistakes, what's the point in two people remembering every detail.
My fear of moving stairs is escalating
John 11:35
Helped the local farmer out with his sheep tonight, we counted 97, but when we rounded them up, there was a 100
It's better to remain silent and have people think you're a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t expect it back.
Big mistake taking a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Black Beauty, now there's a dark horse
When I was younger, so much younger than today I never needed anybody's help in any way But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured
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