Right, here is the low-down
on stuff I've referred to before. Sorry if I repeat myself.
In the late 1990s, I was engaged to take part in The Sex Zone programmes, from Pearson (now Sky). The prog was centred around a Mass Debate with various celebs.
Anyroad, I had to, as part of my remit, judge King Dick for the NOTW. This was slightly out of my comfort zone. But it was also part of theirs. Because they had preselected the winner (it happens all the time in meeja). Unfortunately, the other candidates had sussed this out, and decided not to turn up to the final. Whoops!
So there was a frantic trawl around for competition for the pre-chosen King Dick. Girls in the Admin office volunteered their guys to take part and some of the drivers finally were hauled in. There was total madness, all day, because the NOTW couldn't admit that they had done the judging BEFORE the prog. We eventually got 3 volunteers (very sad) to replicate a competition.
Right, so clearly they were useless. And then we came <sic> to yer Main Man. I tell you,I have never in my life met a guy so devoid of brain, or so pumped and tanned. He looked like a male version of Jodie Marsh. True to format, he was wearing a hard hat
Unfortunately, because he was so thick, he walked into the set, and broke it, totally. Meanwhile, I and a couple of others are waiting to give the judgement, which wasn't a judgement at all. It was pre-ordained. So we sat there, on stools, while his hard hat broke the set, for half an hour - after waiting 4 hours for the stand-ins to get in.
Then we had to go through this exhibition. Now, you gotta believe me, I know a lot about most sex things, but at that time I'd never been to a male stripper show, and had no clue what was going to come at me, as it were. In the last bit of his 'show' he turned round and exhibited something purple big and nasty and kinda weirdly bendy. This was apparently the thing women were waiting for. I've never seen anything like it, or so unattractive.
I've discovered since that male strippers get themselves into a 'semi' and then bind that up with bandages which they then remove, rapidly, at the end of their act, to expose something quite purple and nasty (from my point of view).
I had to sit through similar revelations throughout "Sextasy". It was, frankly, slightly purple and bendy. I never want to see that image again