Walker contract talks break down !

[homer]

Maybe..........

CL: Right, Ian, we want you to stay with us and help us build a winning team here at the Walkers. How’s aboot it wee man ?
IW: Depends what is on offer to be honest, Mr Levein – I have to safeguard my own future
CL: I like what I see, and I’m happy to give you ten grand a week. What do you say ?
IW: Blimey, that’s a great deal. Where do I sign ?
CL: Just here
IW: Hold on a minute. What are these two “special clauses” ?
CL: Och, it’s routine contractual stuff, dinna worry aboot it
IW: I’m signing nuffin ‘til I know what they are
CL: OK. The first one is aboot yer hair. You look like a great steaming Jessie-boy, and I dinna like it. If yer cut it off, the ten G’s are yours
IW: It’s a bit unusual, but I suppose I can live with it. What about the other one ?
CL: It’s aboot yer missus. I want her to get her wee tatties oot for the lads
IW: WHAT ??
CL: I wanna see them hooters, and I wanna see ‘em the noo. And her cute wee ‘arris and her flangella
IW: I can’t believe I’m hearing this. No way
CL: If there’s nay wobblies, there’s nay wonga
IW: It’s outrageous. I’m out off here
CL: Eleven grand and she can keep her wee knick-knacks on ?
IW: F*ck off, you dirty jocko

 

[Durham Fox]

 

[highland fox]

I suppose it was inevitable homer...you have finally gone totally insane

 

[LS6_Fox]

brilliant!

 

[Deanos Beano]

Just had a text message

Dion offered a new deal

Nathan Blake, Nikos Dabizas,Scott Gemmill, Keith Gillespie,Lilian Nalis and Ian Walker, all been released.

Maybe "Homer" knew all along.

:smt010

 

[highland fox]

Maybe..........

CL: Right, Ian, we want you to stay with us and help us build a winning team here at the Walkers. How’s aboot it wee man ?
IW: Depends what is on offer to be honest, Mr Levein – I have to safeguard my own future
CL: I like what I see, and I’m happy to give you ten grand a week. What do you say ?
IW: Blimey, that’s a great deal. Where do I sign ?
CL: Just here
IW: Hold on a minute. What are these two “special clauses” ?
CL: Och, it’s routine contractual stuff, dinna worry aboot it
IW: I’m signing nuffin ‘til I know what they are
CL: OK. The first one is aboot yer hair. You look like a great steaming Jessie-boy, and I dinna like it. If yer cut it off, the ten G’s are yours
IW: It’s a bit unusual, but I suppose I can live with it. What about the other one ?
CL: It’s aboot yer missus. I want her to get her wee tatties oot for the lads
IW: WHAT ??
CL: I wanna see them hooters, and I wanna see ‘em the noo. And her cute wee ‘arris and her flangella
IW: I can’t believe I’m hearing this. No way
CL: If there’s nay wobblies, there’s nay wonga
IW: It’s outrageous. I’m out off here
CL: Eleven grand and she can keep her wee knick-knacks on ?
IW: F*ck off, you dirty jocko

Later that day
Knock Knock..
CL: Yeah,come in
CL: Kevin,we dinnae want ye here anymore
KP: But you'll be looking for tut keeper now the big Southern Jessie buggered off
CL: Och ,how much do you want?
KP: All pies I can eat and few shilling for tut pocket......and I'll show you my jugs anytime thou wants.

 

[Joe_Fox]

Maybe..........

CL: Right, Ian, we want you to stay with us and help us build a winning team here at the Walkers. How’s aboot it wee man ?
IW: Depends what is on offer to be honest, Mr Levein – I have to safeguard my own future
CL: I like what I see, and I’m happy to give you ten grand a week. What do you say ?
IW: Blimey, that’s a great deal. Where do I sign ?
CL: Just here
IW: Hold on a minute. What are these two “special clauses” ?
CL: Och, it’s routine contractual stuff, dinna worry aboot it
IW: I’m signing nuffin ‘til I know what they are
CL: OK. The first one is aboot yer hair. You look like a great steaming Jessie-boy, and I dinna like it. If yer cut it off, the ten G’s are yours
IW: It’s a bit unusual, but I suppose I can live with it. What about the other one ?
CL: It’s aboot yer missus. I want her to get her wee tatties oot for the lads
IW: WHAT ??
CL: I wanna see them hooters, and I wanna see ‘em the noo. And her cute wee ‘arris and her flangella
IW: I can’t believe I’m hearing this. No way
CL: If there’s nay wobblies, there’s nay wonga
IW: It’s outrageous. I’m out off here
CL: Eleven grand and she can keep her wee knick-knacks on ?
IW: F*ck off, you dirty jocko

Later that day
Knock Knock..
CL: Yeah,come in
CL: Kevin,we dinnae want ye here anymore
KP: But you'll be looking for tut keeper now the big Southern Jessie buggered off
CL: Och ,how much do you want?
KP: All pies I can eat and few shilling for tut pocket......and I'll show you my jugs anytime thou wants.

That Evening....

*Ding a-dee Dong*

CL: Hoo the feck is this now!
ZK: G'Day Mate!
CL: Hoo the shite are yoo!
ZK: Spider's the name mate! Get us a tinnie!
CL: Och, yoo gotta be kidden me sonny!
ZK: Faired income mate, I was a legend rarend these parts once
CL: Oh Aye, and I'm a fecking toadstool
ZK: Danno mate, but I'll play in the net for £5 a n'our
CL: Feck off you wee lankey streak of aussie piss.
ZK: Crikey! Keep your wig on Craig! I's just arsking like!

 

[homer]

Maybe..........

CL: Right, Ian, we want you to stay with us and help us build a winning team here at the Walkers. How’s aboot it wee man ?
IW: Depends what is on offer to be honest, Mr Levein – I have to safeguard my own future
CL: I like what I see, and I’m happy to give you ten grand a week. What do you say ?
IW: Blimey, that’s a great deal. Where do I sign ?
CL: Just here
IW: Hold on a minute. What are these two “special clauses” ?
CL: Och, it’s routine contractual stuff, dinna worry aboot it
IW: I’m signing nuffin ‘til I know what they are
CL: OK. The first one is aboot yer hair. You look like a great steaming Jessie-boy, and I dinna like it. If yer cut it off, the ten G’s are yours
IW: It’s a bit unusual, but I suppose I can live with it. What about the other one ?
CL: It’s aboot yer missus. I want her to get her wee tatties oot for the lads
IW: WHAT ??
CL: I wanna see them hooters, and I wanna see ‘em the noo. And her cute wee ‘arris and her flangella
IW: I can’t believe I’m hearing this. No way
CL: If there’s nay wobblies, there’s nay wonga
IW: It’s outrageous. I’m out off here
CL: Eleven grand and she can keep her wee knick-knacks on ?
IW: F*ck off, you dirty jocko

Later that day
Knock Knock..
CL: Yeah,come in
CL: Kevin,we dinnae want ye here anymore
KP: But you'll be looking for tut keeper now the big Southern Jessie buggered off
CL: Och ,how much do you want?
KP: All pies I can eat and few shilling for tut pocket......and I'll show you my jugs anytime thou wants.

That Evening....

*Ding a-dee Dong*

CL: Hoo the feck is this now!
ZK: G'Day Mate!
CL: Hoo the shite are yoo!
ZK: Spider's the name mate! Get us a tinnie!
CL: Och, yoo gotta be kidden me sonny!
ZK: Faired income mate, I was a legend rarend these parts once
CL: Oh Aye, and I'm a fecking toadstool
ZK: Danno mate, but I'll play in the net for £5 a n'our
CL: Feck off you wee lankey streak of aussie piss.
ZK: Crikey! Keep your wig on Craig! I's just arsking like!

:smt018

Fair dinkum, you twonk

 

[Joe_Fox]

Oh go piss up a flag pole.

 

[homer]

I believe the conversation with Nathan Blake went like this:


CL: F*ck Off Blake
NB: OK

 

[Joe_Fox]

I believe the conversation with Nathan Blake went like this:


CL: F*ck Off Blake
NB: OK

I think Blake aimed to say OK, but missed and twisted his ankle. Useless feck.

 

[Steven]

I believe the conversation with Nathan Blake went like this:


CL: F*ck Off Blake
NB: OK

I think Blake aimed to say OK, but missed and twisted his ankle. Useless feck.

In which case Morris pulled a hamstring walking to CL's office. :roll: ;-) :mrgreen:

 

[Joe_Fox]

I believe the conversation with Nathan Blake went like this:


CL: F*ck Off Blake
NB: OK

I think Blake aimed to say OK, but missed and twisted his ankle. Useless feck.

In which case Morris pulled a hamstring walking to CL's office. :roll: ;-) :mrgreen:

Cheese string more like.

 

[BOB HAZELL]

Funniest for ages...

 

[lcfcrules]

I believe the conversation with Nathan Blake went like this:


CL: F*ck Off Blake
NB: OK

Top class post. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: