The random joke thread

[MKFox]

 

[OldGit]

More ! More!

 

[Melton Fox]

 

[OldGit]

Groan

 

[Melton Fox]

Groan

I'm satisfied purely by the acknowledgement

 

[OldGit]

Three women were showering in the athletic club when a man ran through wearing nothing but a bag over his head.


The first woman checked him out and said, "He's not MY husband!"


The second woman looked him over and said, "He's not MY husband, either!"


He passed the third woman, who agreed, then said, "Hey, wait a minute. He's not even a member of this club!"

 

[drummindefender]

View attachment 462

now thats what i call a boner

 

[MKFox]

 

[Melton Fox]

I love it MK, superb

 

[OldGit]

What do you call it when a women talks dirty to a man?





£1.99 a minute

 

[OldGit]

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?








It's not hard.

 

[OldGit]

What do you call two skunks doing a 69?








Odour eaters!

 

[MKFox]

 

[No.6 Muzzy Izzet...]

Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's
forthcoming wedding.

"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised
already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the
minister, even ma stag night.

Archie nods approvingly.

"Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.

"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's fantastic, you'll look pure smart in that!

"And what's the tartan?" Archie then enquires.

"Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."

 

[Melton Fox]

Racist, Rightie Fukwit :icon_wink

 

[No.6 Muzzy Izzet...]

Racist, Rightie Fukwit :icon_wink

Thanks

 

[OldGit]

This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to the pub with me and have a beer?"

But there was no answer from his new pet. He waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub and having a drink with me?

But again, there was no answer from his new friend. He decided to ask him onemore time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the Kings Head and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes!"

 

[Han]

haha not bad either. i laughed

 

[OldGit]

A salesman knocks on a door and a boy about 12 answers , dressed only in a g-string, suspenders & fishnets and a long blonde wig. In one hand he was holding a joint, and had a large whiskey in the other

"Is your mum in ?" asks the salesman .

The boy looks at him yawns and says "does it f*****g look like it ?"

 

[MKFox]