Best Put Downs

[stevewalshwasgod]

I did Bill Odie after dinner once ...

:icon_eek:

 

[DesertFox]

Here for all your favourite retorts and come-backs to hecklers you have ever heard/read.

Starter for 10:-

Phil Jupitus to heckler asking him why he was so fat

'Because every time I **** your wife she gives me a biscuit'

I'd heard that one was a reply to a fast bowler sledging Inzamam-ul-Haq, using the word cookie instead of biscuit. Sounds funnier in a Pakistani accent IMO...

 

[Singth]

Comedian who gets the hump with people not being in their seats when he takes to the stage:

"Hey you, you're not going to get refreshments are you? There will be none left for anyone else"

Slightly large man:

"Nah I'm just taking a quick piss before the comedian comes on"