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I agree I'd rather use the nail gun Matt. My point was that "if" I was using a hammer, I reckon knocking a nail through the ballbag wouldn't hurt as much as smashing my bollock with a hammer.
That depends what type of hammer you use. 4lb lump hammer, yeah. 16oz claw hammer, I'm not so sure. In any case, there's always the chance of infection if you nail your sack to a floor that has doubtless got dog piss, drunks' vomit and phlegm on it.

I may be overthinking this.
 
That depends what type of hammer you use. 4lb lump hammer, yeah. 16oz claw hammer, I'm not so sure. In any case, there's always the chance of infection if you nail your sack to a floor that has doubtless got dog piss, drunks' vomit and phlegm on it.

I may be overthinking this.
Surely he stabbed the floor first? Surely?
 
Surely he stabbed the floor first? Surely?
It's not specified. I'm trying to work out the easiest way to do it. If he used a nail gun, then it's doubtful. It's possible he knocked the pin into the ground first but he would have had to hammer on his own sack manually to fasten it properly. That would be more painful, would it not? The most efficient and effective way of nailing your bollocks to the ground would surely be with a cartridge nail gun, like the DX450, and pins of a decent length, say 72mm minumum. This of course introduces the added danger of having mini explosives around your floppy bits, but if you're sticking a nail through them then why not?
 
That depends what type of hammer you use. 4lb lump hammer, yeah. 16oz claw hammer, I'm not so sure. In any case, there's always the chance of infection if you nail your sack to a floor that has doubtless got dog piss, drunks' vomit and phlegm on it.

I may be overthinking this.

I think hitting my bollock with any type of hammer would hurt me. I might try it later with a variety of different implements, to see if there is a preferable option.
 
I think hitting my bollock with any type of hammer would hurt me. I might try it later with a variety of different implements, to see if there is a preferable option.
Dessert spoon is surprisingly painful. Egg whisk is almost pleasant. Don't try a bread knife.
 
It's not specified. I'm trying to work out the easiest way to do it. If he used a nail gun, then it's doubtful. It's possible he knocked the pin into the ground first but he would have had to hammer on his own sack manually to fasten it properly. That would be more painful, would it not? The most efficient and effective way of nailing your bollocks to the ground would surely be with a cartridge nail gun, like the DX450, and pins of a decent length, say 72mm minumum. This of course introduces the added danger of having mini explosives around your floppy bits, but if you're sticking a nail through them then why not?

150mm minimum if you know what I'm saying.
 
150mm minimum if you know what I'm saying.
Not necessary for fixing your nut sack. Half that should be plenty. You don't want too much sticking out of the ground, or someone might trip over it. Then you've got a whole new set of problems.
 
This is NOT the thread of the year! Too painful reading.
 
The problem that you're all overlooking when using a nailgun is that there would be a danger of the nail being driven too far. The nail would likely rip straight through the scrote and would end up bedded below the actual floor level, which would obviously be a disaster if your plan is to fix your testes to the ground as a form of protest. All pain but with no gain, so to speak.
 
I agree I'd rather use the nail gun Matt. My point was that "if" I was using a hammer, I reckon knocking a nail through the ballbag wouldn't hurt as much as smashing my bollock with a hammer.

Alternatively, if you were worried you could always give the hammer to a female...
 
I have to confess to having tears streaming down my face reading the last few posts and this is not due to pain...****ing hilarious.

Thank you all so much for making a boring day infinately less humdrum.
 
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