On the other hand you could come and join me on a 'ghosts of Leicester past' tour.
A 7 game showcase watching an unlucky, plucky bunch of misfits who will soon be fading into folklore, never to be seen again.
Come and watch a man with a US Army haircut lose his marbles and punch a pensioner in the throat whilst in the background his little soldiers steam around a grassed surface, aimlessly losing possession of a bag of air and defending like Japanese kamikaze pilots.
We will go on an in depth tour which will take your despair and heartache to new levels, imagine watching the calamitous Wes Morgan as he kindly falls over his own shoelace to gift some utterly unskilled idiot from QPR the easiest and possibly only goal of his career.
Embrace the tomfoolery of The Birch as he rallies the near dead fans into a whim of medium to heavy breathing, pulling their steely gaze as they look up from knitting their latest Filbert the Fox dressed as the grim reaper.
Come all, and join the downtrodden Leicester public as they trudge along Western Boulevard and offer words of footballing wisdom regarding the complete lack of intelligence of Mr Jeff Schlupp and their utter bewilderment at the kidnapping of Mr Albrighton.
Secure this grim package of a lifetime on a ticket only basis for £260 a person*.
*first and last person to sign up will get a meet and greet in the illustrious 1884 bar with Andy King
Let me know if you are buying as a gift for an enemy or family member and I'll pop it into a nice envelope that I found outside the Robert Peel last week, it's still damp and mostly torn.
