The hysterically annoying and totally unfounded, but traditional, January 2025 rumours thread.

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"complete ****ing Edouard."
Noun: He/she/it is a complete Édouard
Yes, in the phrase 'a complete Edouard'.
No, in the phrase 'he is complete Edouard'.

Right, can we get back to rumours now.

Have just been reading that Jaap Stam has said he will come and help RvN out if he needs it. I assume as a coach but can we get the ****er in the squad? He will be our most mobile CB.
 
Yes, in the phrase 'a complete Edouard'.
No, in the phrase 'he is complete Edouard'.

Right, can we get back to rumours now.

Have just been reading that Jaap Stam has said he will come and help RvN out if he needs it. I assume as a coach but can we get the ****er in the squad? He will be our most mobile CB.
The same Jaap Stam who has failed in any managerial role he's had? He might be an OK coach but it wouldn't fill me with confidence.
 
I don't see the fuss about Cannon. He's not looked anything special. People thinking he's the saviour next season are just blinded by how shit we are right now.

Freeing up £10m quid on a transfer fee in January is good business. If we can use that to sign a decent defender then it could make the difference in keeping us up.
Well 11 from 25 is quite good good. Neither Daka nor Nacho scored 11 goals last season… and the seasons not over yet so I suspect he’ll add to the tally. Add to that his manager has come out and said service has been pretty poor. 11 is therefore very good. He also scores lots of different types of goal. He clearly has talent, is young, will probably increase in value.

Vardy is 38. Our other striker is Daka. He may be ‘the’ striker next year. I want you to say out loud, ‘Daka may be our only striker next season’. Let that sink in then whisper it in a sinister tone and you’ve got yourself a teaser trailer for a ****ing scary horror film.

We will need a striker next season who can score at championship level because that is the league we will be playing in. We won’t have the funds to sign better than Cannon, but if we did, we’d sign an Odsonne Édouard. Why? Because we have shit for brains.
 
My assumption is that we are going to bring in two or three bodies so it looks like we're giving it a go

It's three from four going down and the other three look as shit as we are - if they think there are players available then why not? Cannon is shit, so please don't pretend he's not

In reality we know it's pretty futile, but got to make some effort

I'd sooner they sell Cannon, sack this hopeless twat off and bring in an actual football manager, but that ain't gonna happen sadly
Two or three bodies for 10m is probably all you are getting. Bodies… on the wage bill… for 4.5 years… on 90k a week each.

Fuuuuuuck
 
We will need a striker next season who can score at championship level because that is the league we will be playing in. We won’t have the funds to sign better than Cannon, but if we did, we’d sign an Odsonne Édouard. Why? Because we have shit for brains.
The powers that be are probably in complete denial as they were two years ago.
 
Would you pay 4.6m for Daka? If the answer is yes, welcome to the LCFC board of directors Mr Silverfox.

We'd be hard pushed finding anyone to give us £4.60
No. I wouldn’t part with a Kit Kat if you asked me to do a swap. I’m banking on their being someone out there as stupid as our Director of Football operations. High bar I know.
 
100% agree with all of this.

I’ll just assume the player wanted out. Unless we get in Latte for the same fee, this all seems rather unfortunate.
I hope no one has asked for Latte out loud at the club. Jon will return with an order from Costa and a blank look on his face.
 
The powers that be are probably in complete denial as they were two years ago.
To be in denial it has to first occur to you that we may end up there. I wouldn’t entirely rule out the possibility that someone hasn’t yet got out the sock puppets to explain it to Jon. Perhaps it isn’t happening unless they’ve heard it from one of the influencers who did the lap of honour last season.
 
Well 11 from 25 is quite good good. Neither Daka nor Nacho scored 11 goals last season… and the seasons not over yet so I suspect he’ll add to the tally. Add to that his manager has come out and said service has been pretty poor. 11 is therefore very good. He also scores lots of different types of goal. He clearly has talent, is young, will probably increase in value.

Vardy is 38. Our other striker is Daka. He may be ‘the’ striker next year. I want you to say out loud, ‘Daka may be our only striker next season’. Let that sink in then whisper it in a sinister tone and you’ve got yourself a teaser trailer for a ****ing scary horror film.

We will need a striker next season who can score at championship level because that is the league we will be playing in. We won’t have the funds to sign better than Cannon, but if we did, we’d sign an Odsonne Édouard. Why? Because we have shit for brains.
Before I continue, I sort of agree with most of that.

I’ve read a few reviews from Stoke fans that say 4 of those goals were penalties and 4 came in one game against a bottom of the league (at the time) Portsmouth. They also suggest that he does little outside the box and therefore doesn’t offer much outside of those goals.

Ultimately goals count, so I’m inclined to agree with you, but I can see that it’s a tough call in this case.
 
Before I continue, I sort of agree with most of that.

I’ve read a few reviews from Stoke fans that say 4 of those goals were penalties and 4 came in one game against a bottom of the league (at the time) Portsmouth. They also suggest that he does little outside the box and therefore doesn’t offer much outside of those goals.

Ultimately goals count, so I’m inclined to agree with you, but I can see that it’s a tough call in this case.
You still have to score them. We have played plenty of bad teams who neither Daka nor Nacho posed any threat to.
 
No. I wouldn’t part with a Kit Kat if you asked me to do a swap. I’m banking on their being someone out there as stupid as our Director of Football operations. High bar I know.
The guy who runs Leuven is a bit shit too apparently.
 
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