Resurrecting the random joke thread

[Bobbins]

"Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?" exclaimed the angry mother. “It was a pure accident, Mum. He turned around.”

 

[FryattFox]

My new girlfriend is taking me out shopping tonight.
She said I need new clothes as I look too middle aged.
I'm gutted.
I love my suit of armour.

 

[FryattFox]

Is it just me, or are there any other anagrams of em?

 

[Blaarev]

My new girlfriend is taking me out shopping tonight.
She said I need new clothes as I look too middle aged.
I'm gutted.
I love my suit of armour.

Was about to congratulate you until I realised what thread this was in

 

[fox58]

A Rabbi, a Anglican minister and a Catholic Priest were taking a party of kids on a Mediterranean cruise.

Disaster strikes and the ship hits a rock and begins to sink.

The Rabbi cried out, Quick! The kids

"F*** the kids said the minister, heading for the lifeboat.

Do you think we have time?, said the priest.

 

[fox58]

Two chaps are talking and one say's, don't you find it strange that divers always fall off the boat backwards, the other replies, some times you are a bit thick, if they fell forwards they'd still be on the boat.

 

[Matt_B]

I'm addicted to wanking over leaflets.

When I went into rehab, I got off to a flyer.

 

[Matt_B]

'LSD makes users lose weight'

That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.

 

[lazzer]

A bloke came in the pub the other day he was selling 8 legs of venison for £200. I told him that was two deer,

 

[Blue Maniac]

A bloke came in the pub the other day he was selling 8 legs of venison for £200. I told him that was two deer,

 

[Joe_Fox]

Here's one for y'all, What goes knock knock who's there "private message Blue Maniac the words 'GIVE JOE_FOX HIS POINTS' or it won't happen and Bournemouth win. It's up to you, I trust you'll make the right decision." "private message Blue Maniac the words 'GIVE JOE_FOX HIS POINTS' or it won't happen and Bournemouth win. It's up to you, I trust you'll make the right decision who?" "private message Blue Maniac the words 'GIVE JOE_FOX HIS POINTS' or it won't happen and Bournemouth win. It's up to you, I trust you'll make the right decision pllllllease"

 

[Darth Vodka]

A bloke came in the pub the other day he was selling 8 legs of venison for £200. I told him that was two deer,

magic

reminds me of "I got stung off a bee yesterday, £50 for a jar of honey"

 

[lazzer]

magic

reminds me of "I got stung off a bee yesterday, £50 for a jar of honey"

I love that joke

 

[pork pie fox]

A bloke came in the pub the other day he was selling 8 legs of venison for £200. I told him that was two deer,

Huzzah for lazzer! Back to save us all :icon_bigg

 

[fitz]

I'm so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself. I'm now at the hospital having them removed!

 

[spionfox]

I'm so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself. I'm now at the hospital having them removed!

:icon_lol:

 

[Macky]

What's white, South African and free?
















Tippex, Nelson Mandela and U2's new album

 

[Macky]

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?









A paraplegic after a housefire.

 

[RHYDAL]

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?A paraplegic after a housefire.

Shocking.

Almost as bad as....

What's brown and sticky?




















Mohamed Ali opening a can of coke.

 

[Cate Fox]

I feel bad for laughing at that.