The not rights thread

[newtonfox]

can you keep everyone inline whilst I'm away mate

Not a problem as long as i am not busy at work or travelling

get a ****ing room :icon_roll:icon_roll:icon_roll:icon_roll

 

[Spanky Fox]

get a ****ing room :icon_roll:icon_roll:icon_roll:icon_roll

sorry newts, i know how much you adore swwg, i dont want to get between you too:icon_lol: so i'll let you have him hehehe

 

[newtonfox]

sorry newts, i know how much you adore swwg, i want to get between you too:icon_lol: so i'll let you have him and me hehehe

your just sick mate

ps wheres my weed

 

[stevewalshwasgod]

:icon_roll:icon_lol:

 

[stevewalshwasgod]

email being sent around work at the min..



To all Employees: Effective 5th September 2007



Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, or wearing Stone Island coats, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.


Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


Holiday Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.


Compassionate Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch break and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break

1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.



Management.

 

[Spanky Fox]

hahahaha

 

[newtonfox]

email being sent around work at the min..



To all Employees: Effective 5th September 2007



Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, or wearing Stone Island coats, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.


Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


Holiday Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.


Compassionate Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch break and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break

1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.



Management.

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

 

[MHS]

Bloody not rights :icon_roll

 

[Spanky Fox]

In Honour of Swwg, this thread has been brought to life

Hello Everyone

 

[stevewalshwasgod]

Hello!!!

 

[muzzysgal]

Would you all like to congregate here for the remainder of the evening?

Please?

 

[Melton Fox]

Would you all like to congregate here for the remainder of the evening?

Please?

:icon_lol:

 

[stevewalshwasgod]

You are welcome to if you want

 

[Melton Fox]

In you all come..........Come on, back in, don't be shy.

You've been out for long enough now, come on, get back in. I fear some of the damage you are causing out there may be irreparable.

Come on, back in please!!!

 

[Macky]

In you all come..........Come on, back in, don't be shy.

You've been out for long enough now, come on, get back in. I fear some of the damage you are causing out there may be irreparable.

Come on, back in please!!!

That's an incredible thing to say.
Next you'll be suggesting that footballers wear slippers when posing for photos

 

[Melton Fox]

That's an incredible thing to say.
Next you'll be suggesting that footballers wear slippers when posing for photos

:icon_bigg

 

[Hammond Organ]

That's an incredible thing to say.
Next you'll be suggesting that footballers wear slippers when posing for photos

And stuttering as well.

 

[Macky]

And stuttering as well.

Probably been drinking too much Heineken

 

[stevewalshwasgod]

Does Spanky still post on here?

 

[Macky]

Does Spanky still post on here?

Whoooo?