A challenge to Agony Uncles

[Innocent]

Each week I'll challenge the guys on this board to come up with replies to my newspaper ag col questions, and act as my panel. If you would?

This week's ag col questions are as follows.

I won't list the complicated ones, just the simple ones, and ask for responses.

These are your 3 questions for this week. Please reply to any you can -

1. My g/f and I go commando, but I have recently started cycling to work and I'm chafing

2. My b/f wants me to be 'faithful' but I think I should bed who I want to, as long as it's safe sex and my b/f knows he's not the only bedfellow I have, as I've told him.

3. My g/f has vaginismus. What is it and what can I do about it?

 

[Melton Fox]

I can only find one question.

 

[The Major]

Each week I'll challenge the guys on this board to come up with replies to my newspaper ag col questions, and act as my panel. If you would?

This week's ag col questions are as follows.



2. My b/f wants me to be 'faithful' but I think I should bed who I want to, as long as it's safe sex and my b/f knows he's not the only bedfellow I have, as I've told him.

Dear ?
Hope you catch the pox you dirty slut.

 

[Innocent]

Dear ?
Hope you catch the pox you dirty slut.

No, she insists on condoms.

I'm sure you can find another route to calling her a dirty slut, but not that one

 

[Innocent]

I can only find one question.

Do you chafe after cycling commando, Melts?

 

[Melton Fox]

Do you chafe after cycling commando, Melts?

I have no reason to ride a bike.

What does the geezer want to know? How to avoid it? cure it? tell his mrs it hurts? Or does he want to know where they cycle paths are between his home and work?

 

[Matt_B]

I would be more interested to know where this column appears so that I can avoid it, it sounds positively dull.

 

[Macky]

1. My g/f and I go commando, but I have recently started cycling to work and I'm chafing

Dear Number 1

You're all over the place man! What's your question? You really need to focus.

2. My b/f wants me to be 'faithful' but I think I should bed who I want to, as long as it's safe sex and my b/f knows he's not the only bedfellow I have, as I've told him.

Dear Number 2

Stop being such a number 2, the two of you obviously aren't suited. Do him a favour and end it now, give him a chance to find somebody that isn't a slut and you'll both be happier.

3. My g/f has vaginismus. What is it and what can I do about it?

Dear Number 3

What is it? It's a ****ing nightmare matey, that's what it is.
What can you do? Have a wank.

 

[Dour]

Your column must be for idiots. Take number 1: most cyclists who do decent miles go commando - they just wear cycling shorts which are designed to reduce chaffing.

 

[Melton Fox]

Your column must be for idiots.

All columns are for idiots.

 

[Macky]

All columns are for idiots.

Quite.
I see your 'Ask Melton' column is as popular as ever

 

[Melton Fox]

Quite.
I see your 'Ask Melton' column is as popular as ever

That was the basis for my point.

 

[spionfox]

All columns are for idiots.

Rows are for the cerebrally challenged as well. And don't start me off about cells.

 

[Melton Fox]

Rows are for the cerebrally challenged as well. And don't start me off about cells.

Depends of you mean "row", or "row".

 

[spionfox]

Depends of you mean "row", or "row".

I mean 'row'. Isn't it obvious :icon_wink

 

[Melton Fox]

I mean 'row'. Isn't it obvious :icon_wink

Well it is now you've put it like that.

 

[bocadillo]

Rows are for the cerebrally challenged as well. And don't start me off about cells.

Cells are for housing those who are so cerebrally challenged that they get caught.

 

[Steven]

Each week I'll challenge the guys on this board to come up with replies to my newspaper ag col questions, and act as my panel. If you would?

This week's ag col questions are as follows.

I won't list the complicated ones, just the simple ones, and ask for responses.

These are your 3 questions for this week. Please reply to any you can -

1. My g/f and I go commando, but I have recently started cycling to work and I'm chafing

2. My b/f wants me to be 'faithful' but I think I should bed who I want to, as long as it's safe sex and my b/f knows he's not the only bedfellow I have, as I've told him.

3. My g/f has vaginismus. What is it and what can I do about it?

1. Rugby/Cycling undershorts and Vaseline will do the trick. :icon_wink

2. Shag whatever you want - safely. :icon_wink

3. I hope you have a small penis, can you have sex with a woman without vaginal penetration and love your girlfriend. :icon_wink

 

[Innocent]

1. Rugby/Cycling undershorts and Vaseline will do the trick. :icon_wink

2. Shag whatever you want - safely. :icon_wink

3. I hope you have a small penis, can you have sex with a woman without vaginal penetration and love your girlfriend. :icon_wink

You more or less got my answers.

I said commando guy needs to get bike shorts, not jeans, to ride in, and stop getting too hot around the gonads.

I said girl has the right to set rules, as long as she's doing safe sex.

I said guy has to take what all think as pre, into a new zone, as it may be all there is, for the moment. But it will teach him how to play around, which will be useful for the rest of his life. And she just might learn from this.

Steven, you are my Agony Uncle Of The Week.

Three gold sex stars. You can take Jade Goodie, or whatsit out of Corrors, or that girl who didn't win Big Brother. * * *

Or you can save your points up until next week!!!! The big prize is ..............

More info next time................




xx

 

[Melton Fox]

I said girl has the right to set rules, as long as she's doing safe sex.

I said guy has to take what all think as pre, into a new zone, as it may be all there is, for the moment. But it will teach him how to play around, which will be useful for the rest of his life. And she just might learn from this.

Absolute bollocks.

Nobody "has the right to set the rules" in a relationship, it's a partnership. If she wants to sleep with other guys, that's fine, but in no way should she expect her bloke to fit into line with it.

He should be questioning her feeling towards him, taking note of the blatant disregard for his emotions, and then getting the **** out.