Bruuuuuuunnnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!!!!!
Bruno Berner once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded pistol and won.
Bruno Berner once beat Super Mario Bros. 3 without touching the controller. He just stared at the TV until the game beat itself.
When Bruno Berner was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
If you spell Bruno Berner in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.
Bruno Berner won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow jackets are lame.
Superman wears Bruno Berner pajamas.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Bruno Berner says its beef, then it's effin' beef.
Bruno Berner’s calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Bruno Berner.
Bruno Berner once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
What color is Bruno Berner's blood? Trick question. Bruno Berner does not bleed.
Bruno Berner once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
You can lead a horse to water. Bruno Berner can make him drink.
Simon Says should be renamed to Bruno Berner Says because if Bruno Berner says something then you better effin' do it.
When Google can't find something, it asks Bruno Berner for help.
When Bruno Berner watches a pot, it boils immediately.
Bruno Berner can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Bruno Berner.
It would only take 1 bullet for Bruno Berner to kill 50 Cent.
Bruno Berner once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball point pen. This lead to the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword."
People with amnesia still remember Bruno Berner.
Bruno Berner has been to Mars. That’s why there’s no life on Mars.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Bruno Berner laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Guns dont kill people, Bruno Berner kills people.
If Bruno Berner was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Bruno Berner rents videos and never rewinds them, ever.
Strippers tip Bruno Berner.
If Rosa Parks was in Bruno Berner's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
You walk into a bar and Bruno Berner's your wingman, you're probably gonna get laid.
If you send someone to kill Bruno Berner, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with.
Bruno Berner makes onions cry.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Bruno Berner spared your life.
Bruno Berner once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
If you're holding a gun to Bruno Berner's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Bruno Berner does not feel like carrying you.
Bruno Berner once won a game of rock paper scissors using neither rock, paper nor scissors.
Tom Jones throws his underwear on stage for Bruno Berner.
If Bruno Berner was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Dennis Wise, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Dennis Wise twice.
Bruno Berner was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Bruno Berner.
Bruno Berner's favourite colour is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Bruno Berner can hit two birds with no stones.
