Being Gay

[TornadoShaunUK]

I just recently got accused of being 'Homophobic' on another forum merely due to saying someone has an avatar that looks 'ever so slightly gay'. Maybe it was the wrong choice of words, but words that stem from being derogeratory remarks about gay people such as 'gay' and 'faggot' are often used towards people who are not gay as well just as a general insult. It got me thinking though..

To me it's just another form of political correctness gone mad. I am genuinely not homophobic, I am quite happy to converse with gay people, I believe gay people should be entitled to equal rights in employment and such like but that does not mean I would welcome a gay person giving me a slap on the ass in the pub. That just wouldn't sit right with me..

Does this make me homophobic? Slightly homophobic? On the thin line between being homophobic and not being homophobic.

I personally don't see myself as a homophobic as it's not as if I hate all gays, but being straight I would just feel uncomfortable if a gay person were to come on to me and my personal view is that people should have the right to feel that way without being lambasted in the same way a gay man should have the right to be gay without being lambasted for it.

Discuss!

 

[H T B]

Personally, I think it has gone too far in the opposite direction.

People like Julian Clary and that frigging Louie Spence come on the tv all camp and in your face, overtly saying/implying what they'd like to do to x, y, or z and they call it entertainment.

If a straight male said/implied the same thing about female they'd be sacked, oh wait a minute!!

 

[Jeff]

cuddle?

 

[four king power]

cuddle?

**** off you gay bastard!

 

[Profondo Rosso]

No doubt this debate will end in petty name calling and quote changing, but I'll do one seriously post at any rate.

Regardless of who the words are aimed towards though, it's still using the idea that being gay is something to be looked down on or insulted about.

I'd hate to be a gay kid of about 12 or 13 who was in high school and struggling to come to terms with his/her sexuality and heard all his family and close friends using derogatory words about homosexuals. I can't even imagine what it'd be like to hear the exact people who you need support from constantly making remarks which insult or belittle being gay, especially if you are still at a young age. There's still a very high suicide rate among gay people for a reason.

Call me a Politically correct whatever you like, but I don't use words like that just out of respect and because I have no idea about the sexuality of anyone around me, in public, or even close friends or family members really. Stopped doing it when a mate of mine told me he was gay when I was about 16, completely took be aback, I had no idea and I felt really bad I'd been using words like that when he was around. Since he's told me that it wasn't easy for him when he wanted support from me and our other mates, but we made it seem like he wouldn't get it from us or that we would stop being friends with him because of how derogatory we used to be about it.

Thing is you can use these words because you hate being PC or whatever and you think they're harmless, but you don't really know what affect they are having on people. Being gay isn't like being black, you can't tell someone is gay just by looking at them, or even being around them all the time in many cases (well, sometimes it's obvious, but a lot of the time it's not).

I'm not criticising anyone for using those words or saying you shouldn't use them if you want to, because I used to use them and I can't or don't want to control what anyone says, but they can certainly be hurtful, even if not aimed derogatory at a gay person.

Also, don't really see why you'd feel uncomfortable if a gay guy hit on you. I'd take it as a compliment. What about if a girl you didn't like hit on you, would you feel uncomfortable then? If anything you should feel less uncomfortable as you don't have to awkwardly come up with a non-insulting excuse to say no, you just say you're not gay and it's as simple as that.


There, there's lots of stuff to edit away from that one.

 

[drummindefender]

Hello Sailor

 

[TornadoShaunUK]

No doubt this debate will end in petty name calling and quote changing, but I'll do one seriously post at any rate.

Regardless of who the words are aimed towards though, it's still using the idea that being gay is something to be looked down on or insulted about.

I'd hate to be a gay kid of about 12 or 13 who was in high school and struggling to come to terms with his/her sexuality and heard all his family and close friends using derogatory words about homosexuals. I can't even imagine what it'd be like to hear the exact people who you need support from constantly making remarks which insult or belittle being gay, especially if you are still at a young age. There's still a very high suicide rate among gay people for a reason.

Call me a Politically correct whatever you like, but I don't use words like that just out of respect and because I have no idea about the sexuality of anyone around me, in public, or even close friends or family members really. Stopped doing it when a mate of mine told me he was gay when I was about 16, completely took be aback, I had no idea and I felt really bad I'd been using words like that when he was around. Since he's told me that it wasn't easy for him when he wanted support from me and our other mates, but we made it seem like he wouldn't get it from us or that we would stop being friends with him because of how derogatory we used to be about it.

Thing is you can use these words because you hate being PC or whatever and you think they're harmless, but you don't really know what affect they are having on people. Being gay isn't like being black, you can't tell someone is gay just by looking at them, or even being around them all the time in many cases (well, sometimes it's obvious, but a lot of the time it's not).

I'm not criticising anyone for using those words or saying you shouldn't use them if you want to, because I used to use them and I can't or don't want to control what anyone says, but they can certainly be hurtful, even if not aimed derogatory at a gay person.

Also, don't really see why you'd feel uncomfortable if a gay guy hit on you. I'd take it as a compliment.


There, there's lots of stuff to edit away from that one.

You do hear gay people are harder to please so you ought to take it as a compliment but I think it's more the thought of being physical with someone that is gay, like if they tap you on the ass in a pub or something.

I appreciate it might be hard sometimes for a gay person to find out if someone they like is gay or not but I personally would just feel really uncomfortable if they attempted to make physical contact with me and I got the impression they fancied me.

As for the gay related insults, I just use them out of habit I guess. I have been called a faggot before as a laugh and never really thought anything of it and tend to use it in the same context expecting nobody would take offense from it because I don't when it's used toward me.

I guess it's similar to the Irish jibe dicussion that we had on here a little while ago in that the word stems from a derogeratory remark that a particular group of people can still take offense from but that has also grown into a more general 'off the cuff' remark..

 

[Profondo Rosso]

You do hear gay people are harder to please so you ought to take it as a compliment but I think it's more the thought of being physical with someone that is gay, like if they tap you on the ass in a pub or something.

I appreciate it might be hard sometimes for a gay person to find out if someone they like is gay or not but I personally would just feel really uncomfortable if they attempted to make physical contact with me and I got the impression they fancied me.

As for the gay related insults, I just use them out of habit I guess. I have been called a faggot before as a laugh and never really thought anything of it and tend to use it in the same context expecting nobody would take offense from it because I don't when it's used toward me.

I guess it's similar to the Irish jibe dicussion that we had on here a little while ago in that the word stems from a derogeratory remark that a particular group of people can still take offense from but that has also grown into a more general 'off the cuff' remark..

I'm not saying you would take offense to it and neither would I if called it, because I don't think being called gay is an insult. However, the guy/girl sitting behind you on the bus or your mate or even your own kids if you are a parent who is gay, but is having trouble coming to terms with it and telling you might well find it hurtful and that it reinforces the idea that being gay is something to be looked down upon, especially when it is said over and over again by people in society and around them, esp. by their close friends and family.

Again, say what you like, I'm not stopping you, but I think it's naive to think these words can't be hurtful just because they're not actually aimed towards homosexuals.

If some guy taps you on the arse, so what? It's not like you're going to catch germs from making contact with him. Just say you aren't interested, wouldn't it be the same if a woman you didn't find attractive tapped you on the arse?

 

[Willlow]

At first I thought somebody had actually come out of the closet...

...my money was on Joe_Fox :icon_wink

 

[Macky]

At first I thought somebody had actually come out of the closet...

...my money was on Joe_Fox :icon_wink

Joe_'s so gay, he makes Ashley Cole look straight

 

[Rich B]

It used to be illegal now it's de rigeur

 

[Cate Fox]

Joe_'s so gay, he makes Ashley Cole look straight

Can someone please enlighten me on the Ashley Cole story? I suspect it will need to be a PM

 

[Willlow]

Can someone please enlighten me on the Ashley Cole story? I suspect it will need to be a PM

There was a News of the World story that claimed a Premiership football was homosexual and did something with a mobile phone if I remember correctly.

There were various rumours of who it was, one of them being Cashley, although it was never proven and he has gone out with loads of women so he definitely isnt.

 

[Cate Fox]

There was a News of the World story that claimed a Premiership football was homosexual and did something with a mobile phone if I remember correctly.

There were various rumours of who it was, one of them being Cashley, although it was never proven and he has gone out with loads of women so he definitely isnt.

George Michael went out with loads of women too and he definitely is :icon_lol:

Thank you for telling me though.

 

[drummindefender]

There was a News of the World story that claimed a Premiership football was homosexual and did something with a mobile phone if I remember correctly.

There were various rumours of who it was, one of them being Cashley, although it was never proven and he has gone out with loads of women so he definitely isnt.

Didn't it allegedly involve Sol Campbell and Jermaine Jenas too?

 

[Darth Vodka]

it was a rumour blatently invented by an irate Arsenal fan

 

[Willlow]

George Michael went out with loads of women too and he definitely is :icon_lol:

Thank you for telling me though.

The "definitely isnt" bit was just to cover my back (no pun intended) in case he tried to take me to court :icon_wink

 

[Willlow]

Didn't it allegedly involve Sol Campbell and Jermaine Jenas too?

I'm not sure about that.

There was a photo in the newspaper which had the footballer's face blurred out. The same photo was also on the internet without the face blurred out and it was Cashley

But he definitely isnt because he was married and everything!

 

[jb5000]

There was a News of the World story that claimed a Premiership football was homosexual and did something with a mobile phone if I remember correctly.

There were various rumours of who it was, one of them being Cashley, although it was never proven and he has gone out with loads of women so he definitely isnt.

I though that one was Leroy Lita?

 

[Blue Maniac]

I just recently got accused of being 'Homophobic' on another forum merely due to saying someone has an avatar that looks 'ever so slightly gay'. Maybe it was the wrong choice of words, but words that stem from being derogeratory remarks about gay people such as 'gay' and 'faggot' are often used towards people who are not gay as well just as a general insult. It got me thinking though..

To me it's just another form of political correctness gone mad. I am genuinely not homophobic, I am quite happy to converse with gay people, I believe gay people should be entitled to equal rights in employment and such like

How enlightened of you.

but that does not mean I would welcome a gay person giving me a slap on the ass in the pub. That just wouldn't sit right with me..

I can honestly say that this has never happened to me. Similarly, I've never found it necessary to stand with my back to the nearest wall when there's a gay man in the room, as none have ever tried to rape me.

Does this make me homophobic? Slightly homophobic? On the thin line between being homophobic and not being homophobic.

Judging by the general tone of your post, I'm thinking you're not homophobic, but maybe you don't understand fully what homosexuality is. This isn't an insult, nor is it sarcasm. A lot of people don't know.

I personally don't see myself as a homophobic as it's not as if I hate all gays, but being straight I would just feel uncomfortable if a gay person were to come on to me and my personal view is that people should have the right to feel that way without being lambasted in the same way a gay man should have the right to be gay without being lambasted for it.

Again, I'm not convinced you should be concerned about gay men coming into you. I can't imagine why you would be. Do you believe that gay men are constantly in search of sex with strangers?

People like Julian Clary and that frigging Louie Spence come on the tv all camp and in your face, overtly saying/implying what they'd like to do to x, y, or z and they call it entertainment.

That's part of Julian Clary's act. It's not funny, but it's what he does. Louie Spence is a twat, and he annoys me. But it's not because he's gay or because of anything he says, rather that he's ostentatiously camp to a very irritating level, and he's an arrogant dickhead.

At first I thought somebody had actually come out of the closet...

...my money was on Joe_Fox :icon_wink

Mine wouldn't have been.

It used to be illegal now it's de rigeur

Good comment.