Home Truths

[RHYDAL]

Walking through town lunchtime picking out all the things you would never have seen 20 years ago gave me the inspiration for this thread......

1. You have wheels on your travel / suit case because you have arms like a 9 year old girl you big jessie.

2. You drink smoothies because you're too fecking bone idle to wash and peel fruit.

3. You wear fake tan because you're too pikey to pay for a proper holiday in the sun.

4. Do you seriously expect me to believe you're going cross country with that push chair lardarse?

5. No, you do not look like Jennifer Aniston just because you're drinking frothy coffee and picking at a blueberry muffin you munter.

More to follow.

 

[From Gradel to Grave]

Walking through town lunchtime picking out all the things you would never have seen 20 years ago gave me the inspiration for this thread......

1. You have wheels on your travel / suit case because you have arms like a 9 year old girl you big jessie.

2. You drink smoothies because you're too fecking bone idle to wash and peel fruit.

3. You wear fake tan because you're too pikey to pay for a proper holiday in the sun.

4. Do you seriously expect me to believe you're going cross country with that push chair lardarse?

5. No, you do not look like Jennifer Aniston just because you're drinking frothy coffee and picking at a blueberry muffin you munter.

More to follow.

:icon_lol:

 

[Steven]

Walking through town lunchtime picking out all the things you would never have seen 20 years ago gave me the inspiration for this thread......

1. You have wheels on your travel / suit case because you have arms like a 9 year old girl you big jessie.

2. You drink smoothies because you're too fecking bone idle to wash and peel fruit.

3. You wear fake tan because you're too pikey to pay for a proper holiday in the sun.

4. Do you seriously expect me to believe you're going cross country with that push chair lardarse?

5. No, you do not look like Jennifer Aniston just because you're drinking frothy coffee and picking at a blueberry muffin you munter.

More to follow.

Not a lot to do in South Wales?

 

[RHYDAL]

6. If I give you some money, will you pay for an injection to put him out of his misery. I'm talking to the dog not you, addict.

7. I'm rude because you're the fifth gobshite in 15 minutes to ask if I want 'Your last Issue'. What about the dozen sticking out the top of your rucksack over there by the lampost? Get a wash too smelly.

8. I didn't give in the office so what makes you think you're fecking getting any?

9. I bet you won't beat my current mobile deal cos my company provides it gratis, smug cnut.

10. Do I look like the sort of person that wants a leaflet for Chinese Herbal Remedies eh?

 

[RHYDAL]

Not a lot to do in South Wales?

Nope. The moon's gone in.

 

[Cate Fox]

Walking through town lunchtime picking out all the things you would never have seen 20 years ago gave me the inspiration for this thread......

3. You wear fake tan because you're too pikey to pay for a proper holiday in the sun.

or maybe they dont fancy getting skin cancer by baking themselves stupid for 2 weeks? Just a thought... :icon_wink

 

[Macky]

or maybe they dont fancy getting skin cancer by baking themselves stupid for 2 weeks? Just a thought... :icon_wink

Or perhaps they like to look tangerine coloured, they're fooling nobody with that horrible orange shite.

 

[Cate Fox]

Or perhaps they like to look tangerine coloured, they're fooling nobody with that horrible orange shite.

agreed....with the range that is on the market today there is no reason to look like creosote (sp)

 

[RHYDAL]

or maybe they dont fancy getting skin cancer by baking themselves stupid for 2 weeks? Just a thought... :icon_wink

No, they'd rather spend their hard earned cash on an environmentally unfriendly chemical product which, absorbed into the skin, could be causing the skin cancer they 'don't fancy', which comes similarly packaged, and which will eventually get flushed into the water system causing who knows what damage.
The production of above causes the greenhouse effect which they're trying to avoid, and has been doubtless shipped around the world in gas guzzlers with similar results, all so some chav can look 'healthy' despite the fact that their skin is missing the vitamin 'D' it so desparately needs.

 

[RHYDAL]

11. You're not in your car so why have you got your Bluetooth earpiece on? You're not a secret agent, an air traffic controller or a referee. Get back in your 4x4 you dull twat.

12. Just because you have expensive looking large sunglasses doesn't mean you are Posh Spice. The Primark leggings are a dead giveaway.

13. The wooly hat is fooling no-one. I'm not joining your religious sect wierdo.

14. I didn't pay £9.99 for a Rubiks cube when they first came out and I'm not paying it now.

15. No I haven't had an accident recently, but I can arrange one for you if you like.

 

[Chuck T Masala]

11. You're not in your car so why have you got your Bluetooth earpiece on? You're not a secret agent, an air traffic controller or a referee. Get back in your 4x4 you dull twat.

12. Just because you have expensive looking large sunglasses doesn't mean you are Posh Spice. The Primark leggings are a dead giveaway.

13. The wooly hat is fooling no-one. I'm not joining your religious sect wierdo.

14. I didn't pay £9.99 for a Rubiks cube when they first came out and I'm not paying it now.

15. No I haven't had an accident recently, but I can arrange one for you if you like.

Oh yea! I bet these feckers have walkie talkies at home and BB pistols!

 

[muzzysgal]

No, they'd rather spend their hard earned cash on an environmentally unfriendly chemical product which, absorbed into the skin, could be causing the skin cancer they 'don't fancy', which comes similarly packaged, and which will eventually get flushed into the water system causing who knows what damage.
The production of above causes the greenhouse effect which they're trying to avoid, and has been doubtless shipped around the world in gas guzzlers with similar results, all so some chav can look 'healthy' despite the fact that their skin is missing the vitamin 'D' it so desparately needs.

Pale and interesting is the way forward :icon_cool :icon_wink

 

[RHYDAL]

Pale and interesting is the way forward :icon_cool :icon_wink

Milky white as Chuck put it.

 

[Melton Fox]

Pale and interesting is the way forward :icon_cool :icon_wink

Nope. Not giving a flying **** about your skin colour, is the way forward.

 

[homer]

Milky white as Chuck put it.

Lardy white is much nicer..........

 

[RHYDAL]

Lardy white is much nicer..........

As is painters radio colour.

 

[muzzysgal]

Nope. Not giving a flying **** about your skin colour, is the way forward.

 

[RHYDAL]

16. It's a shawl, not a frigging pashmina.

17. If you walk four abreast along a pavement not watching where you're going then someone was bound to bump into you. I stopped saying sorry for that shit back in the late 90's.

18. If you must wear your trousers around the top of your thighs, at least have the class not to wear 3 for £10 bundies.

19.Yes, Jaffa Cakes only have a gram of fat each, but they're still chocolate covered jam sponges packed full of sugar and calories you ignorant chubber.

20. Greasing your hair flat to your hair does not look good on you, sister.

 

[Macky]

18. If you must wear your trousers around the top of your thighs, at least have the class not to wear 3 for £10 bundies.

They're wearing burger buns as underwear??

 

[H T B]

21. I want lettuce, not ****ing Rocket on my salad sarnie!!