If you were God..............

[Disco Bob]

I'd probably get rid of one of my vertebrae while I was at it.

 

[Jeff]

I'd probably get rid of one of my vertebrae while I was at it.

 

[Disco Bob]

Like a wagging finger is going to stop Disco God...

 

[RHYDAL]

Had a couple of Johovahs Witnesses knock my door while working shifts back when I was 20. Being a little pissed off at having been woken, I thought I'd engage in some light banter.
"We'd like to talk to you about God", says they.
"Fine," says I, "but first convince me he exists" (no offence intended to anyone whose God is female or genderless).
"Don't you believe everything has a creator? You, the flowers, birds, trees etc. Who do you think created all of them?", says they.
"So, your proof is that everything has a creator, therefore God must exist?" chips I. "That being the case, who created God?".
At this point there was some coughing and disjointed babbling.
I told them that their God had just disappeared in a puff of logic, and that they should speak to their superiors and return the next day with a more compelling argument. I am still waiting. Any takers?

 

[DesertFox]

Bill Hicks on God. Just about sums up my view, but in a considerably funnier way than I would be able to.

 

[Biff]

What's a hindu?

Organise parties.

 

[Darth Vodka]

Organise parties.

nah, it eats corn in New Zealand

 

[Darth Vodka]

Had a couple of Johovahs Witnesses knock my door while working shifts back when I was 20. Being a little pissed off at having been woken, I thought I'd engage in some light banter.
"We'd like to talk to you about God", says they.
"Fine," says I, "but first convince me he exists" (no offence intended to anyone whose God is female or genderless).
"Don't you believe everything has a creator? You, the flowers, birds, trees etc. Who do you think created all of them?", says they.
"So, your proof is that everything has a creator, therefore God must exist?" chips I. "That being the case, who created God?".
At this point there was some coughing and disjointed babbling.
I told them that their God had just disappeared in a puff of logic, and that they should speak to their superiors and return the next day with a more compelling argument. I am still waiting. Any takers?

there are elements of two theists' arguments here:-

1) the argument of personal incredulity. surely you must believe in God! look around you
2) the watchmaker argument. that because something is complex, it must have a designer

1) is not really an argument at all, just someone's response when they are entrenched in their world view and somebody mentions it might not be true

2) as you rightly point out is in fact a circular argument, who created God. but it's still a convincing argument to anyone who doesn't understand evolution and i point you all to The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins



i couldn't let a god thread go by without mentioning Dawkins

 

[Cate Fox]

:icon_bigg
When I was in my teenage years, yes.

Before that I was a very good little brainwashed Catholic.

We all follow that route macky...brainwashed as kids but see it for what it is when you get older

 

[Disco Bob]

Bill Hicks on God. Just about sums up my view, but in a considerably funnier way than I would be able to.

That'll be me..."Prankster God" :icon_cool

 

[Biff]

Had a couple of Johovahs Witnesses knock my door while working shifts back when I was 20. Being a little pissed off at having been woken, I thought I'd engage in some light banter.
"We'd like to talk to you about God", says they.
"Fine," says I, "but first convince me he exists" (no offence intended to anyone whose God is female or genderless).
"Don't you believe everything has a creator? You, the flowers, birds, trees etc. Who do you think created all of them?", says they.
"So, your proof is that everything has a creator, therefore God must exist?" chips I. "That being the case, who created God?".
At this point there was some coughing and disjointed babbling.
I told them that their God had just disappeared in a puff of logic, and that they should speak to their superiors and return the next day with a more compelling argument. I am still waiting. Any takers?

They are worse than double glazing firms

I invited two jo witts in once.I said "go in the room ,make yourself comfy and i'll put the kettle on"

5 mins later i came in the room with a pot of tea and a tray of biscuits.

I sat down and said "right, what do you want to talk about"

They looked at each other, and then one said "we dont know,we havent got this far before"

 

[Darth Vodka]

"we dont know,we havent got this far before"

:icon_bigg:icon_bigg:icon_bigg

also if you get a knock on your door from a political campaigner you don't like, invite them in

worst thing you can do is say "i vote for the other guy"

get them in, have an hour's discussion about the bins

it'll stop them winning over a few floating voters

 

[RHYDAL]

They are worse than double glazing firms

Nail on head.
Mormons are a classic example. My Aunt and her tribe are all Jesus Christ and Latter Day Sainters, and it is run like the most efficient company you have ever seen.

1. They are all expected to be well dressed, shaved etc. 24/7.
2. They don't ingest any drug whether it be nicotine, alcohol or even caffeine. They don't gamble.
3. They must go on a 'mission' to another country for a year or so at some point in their early adulthood.
4. They have a rota for being the Bishop.
5. They contribute a percentage of their income (I believe 10%, but am open to correction) to the church (not optional).

IMHO this means that......

1. They are highly employable, and also attractive to shallow easily impressed women. This means the 10% is both healthy and secure, and ensures more little 'soldiers'. My Aunt has 4 children all of whom are believers.
2. Their wages are not squandered thus ensuring the 10% is paid on the dot, and they also have more money to spend on appearance. This leaves them with only one vice left open to them. See point 1.
3. They all participate in the self perpetuating salesforce, at some point or another, signing up fresh meat.
4. Notional career prospects encouraging competition.
5. If it looks like one, smells like one, and feels like one then it's a pyramid scheme.

Cher-ching.

 

[Darth Vodka]

5. If it looks like one, smells like one, and feels like one then it's a pyramid scheme.

hear hear. Religion is the ultimate pyramid scheme

 

[Biff]

Just this week a female 'jovo' died because she refused a blood transfusion (her 'religion' forbids it),leaving two kids without a mother.

Can someone explain that one to me

 

[Matt_B]

Just this week a female 'jovo' died because she refused a blood transfusion (her 'religion' forbids it),leaving two kids without a mother.

Can someone explain that one to me

Well, during birth she had complications and needed blood to stay alive. As part of her religious beliefs she chose not to accept this blood, thus resulting in her dying, probably from lack of blood. I thought you did a good job yourself though?

 

[Yorkshire Vixen]

Just this week a female 'jovo' died because she refused a blood transfusion (her 'religion' forbids it),leaving two kids without a mother.

Can someone explain that one to me

i found it hard to understand as well she had just given birth to twins and refused the transfusion (she was only 22) part of me thought she was selfish leaving her kids behing like that but i suppose thats what 'beliefs' do for you

 

[homer]

hear hear. Religion is the ultimate pyramid scheme

It also provides meaning and hope for millions of people around the world - not to mention support structures and basic help (financial and non-financial) for many

Go and shadow your local vicar for a week and see how much time they spend screwing money out of people compared to the free counselling and advice services (not to mention financial support) that they provide to people who cannot access that level of help from elsewhere

Cheap shots are easy to make - just a pity that they do not reflect the truth most of the time

 

[highland fox]

If people believe there is a God etc then there is one,if they believe it and it helps them and gives them peace and makes them happy then to me there is no questioning it.Its an individual thing because one believes it doesn't mean all have to and if they want to follow a religion etc and it harms nobody else then i see no harm at all in it

 

[Biff]

i found it hard to understand as well she had just given birth to twins and refused the transfusion (she was only 22) part of me thought she was selfish leaving her kids behing like that but i suppose thats what 'beliefs' do for you

Some 'head' jovo was on the BBC this morning was saying the bible forbids it.

I didnt realise they did blood transfusions in the days of Adam and Eve.

That book is full of contradictions,and belongs in the bin.