Mark Speight

[Siouxsie]

Its all very easy to judge him because he took his own life but I imagine very few of us will ever know how he was feeling.

Quite.

Having to break the news to someone that not only has their father died but that it was by his own hand has got to rank as one of the worst moments of my life.

I've asked "why?" on so many occassions. I couldn't answer it then, I still can't. I can judge the consequences but not his actions somehow.

 

[Dickovforengland!]

Not when you've experienced it, not when you have to deal with what's left behind, not when you see your family pulled all over the place, not when you see blame dished out, not when you see marriages breaking up because of it. Not when somebody can't cope, but leaves everybody else to cope with even more shit, not when a child never gets to meet his Grandad because he killed himself, not when children have to grow up early to look after their grieving Mother, not when you leave your family destitute and penniless and them to live in nigh on poverty, not when you leave your wife to work into her 80's because she's so ****ing poor.

If you have any experience of this you'll know exactly what I'm talking about, if you haven't, then don't you even dare question my opinion.

Like I said you don't know Mark Speight's circumstances. What if every waking minute was filled with terror and pain. Without knowing his personal situation you can't comment on him. Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't dare to do. I'll make that decision myself.

 

[Melton Fox]

Like I said you don't know Mark Speight's circumstances. What if every waking minute was filled with terror and pain. Without knowing his personal situation you can't comment on him. Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't dare to do. I'll make that decision myself.

You think you have the right to judge somebody (me), who has quite clearly experienced this, who quite clearly is still very emotional and sensitive about it. Of course I will tell you not to judge me, unless of course you know exactly what I am going through, and you believe I'm wrong. But my opinion is right, and it is right because there is no right or wrong.

His life may have been filled with "terror and pain", but those that are left behind to pick up the pieces now have a lifetime of it to cope with. Should they all kill themselves too?

I know people, as we all do, that have suffered far more than Mark Speight has in this instance. These people find the strength to cope and continue.

 

[Dickovforengland!]

You don't know his circumstances so I don't think you can comment on him. End of. I'm not judging you, I'm saying don't judge Mark Speight, when you aren't privvy to the ins and outs of his life, based on your experience of suicide.

My experience of suicide is a good one, someone I know stopped suffering after years of desperate unhappiness and ill health. So not all people who commit suicide are cowards.

 

[Melton Fox]

My experience of suicide is a good one, someone I know stopped suffering after years of desperate unhappiness and ill health. So not all people who commit suicide are cowards.

I wouldn't judge somebody on health grounds, or mental illness. I'm not ignorant, I do understand that sometimes finality is the best scenario for all concerned, and I'm pleased it was for you, and pleased it was a positive experience. In my experience, it just left a huge mess both emotionally and financially.

I will however judge them on not being able to cope with normal, everyday human emotions such as desperation, grief, upset, rejection, sadness etc that we all have to cope with on a daily basis.

 

[highland fox]

I don't think you know how you will cope until it happens to you personally.He obviously loved her deeply and perhaps this was his way of seeing her again in his mind

 

[Melton Fox]

I don't think you know how you will cope until it happens to you personally.He obviously loved her deeply and perhaps this was his way of seeing her again in his mind

Why would it have affected him any worse than all those thousands of others who lose loved ones each day?, why was his case so special?

 

[highland fox]

Why would it have affected him any worse than all those thousands of others who lose loved ones each day?, why was his case so special?

Evweryone is different,people deal with things differently.There isn't a set way to deal with grief.Who said his case was special:icon_conf

 

[Yorkshire Vixen]

Why would it have affected him any worse than all those thousands of others who lose loved ones each day?, why was his case so special?

maybe because he felt responsible and he was arrested on suspicion of having something to do with her death

 

[Melton Fox]

maybe because he felt responsible and he was arrested on suspicion of having something to do with her death

Would be the only thing that makes any sense to me. One sure fire way to avoid responsibility.

 

[LS6_Fox]

Evweryone is different,people deal with things differently.There isn't a set way to deal with grief.

Totally agree with you HF. Yes people go through far worse experiences in their life and they manage to live through them, but to some the experience leaves them feeling like that is there only option to end the misery. I'm not saying it's wrong or right, just to some they see no other choice.

 

[Hazzman]

Just read the paper and there was a touching article with his best mate and Smart colleague. Mentioned that he met his girlfriend working on children's TV and she won a role on Hollyoaks. She pursued Hollyoaks and was put into a coma after a late night car crash. He took it upon himself to nurse her back to health (mentally and physically) - apparently she was highly 'distant' and these two people were peas in a pod.