Mental Health, Reaching Out & the Kindness of Strangers

[Brown Nose]

One of my biggest fears, a kidney stone. I've always heard they are agony beyond belief.

I reckon if I ever do have one, I wouldn't care less if the pain killer was smeared on a homer boner, I'd let him give it to me.

You're spot on though. What my wife has been through giving birth is horrific; she has absolutely no inhibitions left whatsoever (in the doctor's office, anyhow!)

A couple of ambulance chaps transferred me from A&E to the General and told me that they reckoned that kidney stones was the worst pain anyone can suffer.

It's a solid piece of BN advice to make sure that you always have some decent painkillers in the house.

There was no more pathetic a sight than me in the middle of the night collapsed in the corner of the kitchen sweating and deliriously swigging Calpol because there was nothing else. I didn't realise what it was at the time. Longest night ever.

 

[Blue Maniac]

There was no more pathetic a sight than me in the middle of the night collapsed in the corner of the kitchen sweating and deliriously swigging Calpol because there was nothing else. I didn't realise what it was at the time. Longest night ever.

I see this and raise you me having a seizure on the bus and pissing myself while unconscious… two weeks ago. Turns out there was a blood clot in my brain, so I spent two days in the stroke unit at LRI. Food’s great, by the way. All the various doctors and nurses and physiotherapists etc are wonderful, massive credit to the NHS.

 

[pork pie fox]

Well said you daft fecker.

Interesting point on the physical side of things too. I had a kidney stone a few years ago and it hurt like nothing on earth. Anyway, I had several doctors interferring with me from every orifice and at every angle and I couldn't care less because I was in agony and needed them to help me.

Since then, my threshold has changed completely. If you want to fiddle away down there, go right ahead.

My point is that women tend to go through childbirth and other intimate checks regularly so they lose their inhibition. We men don't so we build up this embarrassment.

I think having the snip got rid of any inhibitions I might have had. Nothing like lying there, legs akimbo, while a doctor sorts your nads out, with two nurses there to help.

 

[pork pie fox]

I see this and raise you me having a seizure on the bus and pissing myself while unconscious… two weeks ago. Turns out there was a blood clot in my brain, so I spent two days in the stroke unit at LRI. Food’s great, by the way. All the various doctors and nurses and physiotherapists etc are wonderful, massive credit to the NHS.

Hope all’s ok BM. My wife works in the community team for stroke and neuro patients, so I know how prevalent this stuff can be.

 

[Brown Nose]

I see this and raise you me having a seizure on the bus and pissing myself while unconscious… two weeks ago. Turns out there was a blood clot in my brain, so I spent two days in the stroke unit at LRI. Food’s great, by the way. All the various doctors and nurses and physiotherapists etc are wonderful, massive credit to the NHS.

Fecking hell BM, that sounds terrifying. Hope you're okay now?

 

[Blue Maniac]

Hope all’s ok BM. My wife works in the community team for stroke and neuro patients, so I know how prevalent this stuff can be.

Fecking hell BM, that sounds terrifying. Hope you're okay now?

It is a bit unsettling, yeah. Sat down on the bus then the next thing I remember is waking up in an ambulance. On stroke prevention meds now, and they want to scan my head again, so it’s gonna be a thing for a bit.

 

[pork pie fox]

It is a bit unsettling, yeah. Sat down on the bus then the next thing I remember is waking up in an ambulance. On stroke prevention meds now, and they want to scan my head again, so it’s gonna be a thing for a bit.

I’ve liked that, obviously not for what’s happened, but for the fact that you seem to be (hopefully) through the worst. Look after yourself bud.

 

[popillius]

I see this and raise you me having a seizure on the bus and pissing myself while unconscious… two weeks ago. Turns out there was a blood clot in my brain, so I spent two days in the stroke unit at LRI. Food’s great, by the way. All the various doctors and nurses and physiotherapists etc are wonderful, massive credit to the NHS.

I have heard some shit excuses in my time for not organising the TB awards in a timely fashion, but this..... this is just sick....


Oh and I hope you're doing okay. Glad to hear you're on the mend you massive great bastard.

 

[Jeff]

I had a kidney stone a few years ago and it hurt like nothing on earth. Anyway, I had several doctors interferring with me from every orifice and at every angle and I couldn't care less because I was in agony and needed them to help me.

About 10 years ago I thought I had a kidney stone. The scans couldn't find one, but they did discover that I only have one kidney.

Two years ago, I went to have a piss before going to bed, and nothing came out. It had been hot, so I thought maybe I was dehydrated, so I drank a load of water before going to bed.

The next morning I still couldn't piss.

I went to hospital, and after much waiting around, scans, prods, things being stuck up me, they found a kidney stone that had blocked where the ureter connects to the kidney.

So I urgently had to have that fixed the same day. The local hospital shares their kidney surgeon with a hospital 40 miles away, and he spends most of his time there. Fortunately it was the right day of the week, so he was in the right place and was able to operate the same day. But the anaesthetist refused to do it until I'd had a proper covid test and it had come back from the lab negative. So I had an extra hour waiting for that to come back before anything could happen. I've no idea what would have happened if it had come back posititve. Maybe they'd have just let my kidney explode.

They put a stent from my bladder to my kidney, and left the stone where it was. I was in hospital for four days, because they wouldn't let me out until they were happy with my kidney function.

A couple of months later I went to the hospital 40 miles away to have the kidney stone removed. They put another stent in.
I then had to go to my local hospital a few weeks later so they could stick a fishing rod up me and remove the stent. I was conscious for that one and could watch it on a screen.

Each time I went into hospital it became a bit easier than the previous time, and I've got used to taking my clothes off in front of doctors and nurses.

The kidney stone (and others I think I've had since then that were smaller and didn't cause a blockage or too much pain) may have been the result of a parathyroid problem the led to me having too much calcium in my blood.
Earlier this year I was back in hospital again, they cut open my neck and removed two of my parathyroid glands. Hopefully this will prevent more kidney stones in the future.



So you now know about my recent medical history.

But I still can't talk to you lot about my mental health issues. I know mental health shouldn't be treated any differently to physical stuff. But it's just not something I feel comfortable talking about to anyone.

 

[camberwell fox]

****ing hell!

 

[camberwell fox]

I think lots of us suffer in silence, it’s a really tricky subject.

I was bought up by an abusive and alcoholic dad who treated my mum and sister like shit, she put up with it for 16 years until one day she decided to do a “moonlight flit” and remove the three of us from my dad to live in Glenfield with her sister.

Spent the next few years moving between my mum and my dad as I was confused, my gran then died (I lived with my gran and not my dad, as my dad lived with her) which made my life very traumatic again.

Moved away from Leicester as soon as I could and then my dad died, which somehow I didn’t feel at all.

Got married and had kids, suppressed it all. Hadn’t spoken to my mum since my wedding nearly 20 years ago due to it all, called her and no answer…

…decided to look on HMGov website and found out my mum had died in 2016 along with my stepdad in 2017.

What a ****ing mess. It’s no wonder we “all” suffer with mental health is it?

 

[Brown Nose]

About 10 years ago I thought I had a kidney stone. The scans couldn't find one, but they did discover that I only have one kidney.

Two years ago, I went to have a piss before going to bed, and nothing came out. It had been hot, so I thought maybe I was dehydrated, so I drank a load of water before going to bed.

The next morning I still couldn't piss.

I went to hospital, and after much waiting around, scans, prods, things being stuck up me, they found a kidney stone that had blocked where the ureter connects to the kidney.

So I urgently had to have that fixed the same day. The local hospital shares their kidney surgeon with a hospital 40 miles away, and he spends most of his time there. Fortunately it was the right day of the week, so he was in the right place and was able to operate the same day. But the anaesthetist refused to do it until I'd had a proper covid test and it had come back from the lab negative. So I had an extra hour waiting for that to come back before anything could happen. I've no idea what would have happened if it had come back posititve. Maybe they'd have just let my kidney explode.

They put a stent from my bladder to my kidney, and left the stone where it was. I was in hospital for four days, because they wouldn't let me out until they were happy with my kidney function.

A couple of months later I went to the hospital 40 miles away to have the kidney stone removed. They put another stent in.
I then had to go to my local hospital a few weeks later so they could stick a fishing rod up me and remove the stent. I was conscious for that one and could watch it on a screen.

Each time I went into hospital it became a bit easier than the previous time, and I've got used to taking my clothes off in front of doctors and nurses.

The kidney stone (and others I think I've had since then that were smaller and didn't cause a blockage or too much pain) may have been the result of a parathyroid problem the led to me having too much calcium in my blood.
Earlier this year I was back in hospital again, they cut open my neck and removed two of my parathyroid glands. Hopefully this will prevent more kidney stones in the future.



So you now know about my recent medical history.

But I still can't talk to you lot about my mental health issues. I know mental health shouldn't be treated any differently to physical stuff. But it's just not something I feel talking about to anyone.

That's a lot to go through. Maybe it's just a coincidence but whenever you post those Fell Walking pics, I think you're doing it for either physical or mental health related issues.

Fair enough regarding your mental health. The only thing I'd say is of course you don't need to share on here but make sure that you talk to someone.

 

[Brown Nose]

I think lots of us suffer in silence, it’s a really tricky subject.

I was bought up by an abusive and alcoholic dad who treated my mum and sister like shit, she put up with it for 16 years until one day she decided to do a “moonlight flit” and remove the three of us from my dad to live in Glenfield with her sister.

Spent the next few years moving between my mum and my dad as I was confused, my gran then died (I lived with my gran and not my dad, as my dad lived with her) which made my life very traumatic again.

Moved away from Leicester as soon as I could and then my dad died, which somehow I didn’t feel at all.

Got married and had kids, suppressed it all. Hadn’t spoken to my mum since my wedding nearly 20 years ago due to it all, called her and no answer…

…decided to look on HMGov website and found out my mum had died in 2016 along with my stepdad in 2017.

What a ****ing mess. It’s no wonder we “all” suffer with mental health is it?

That's such a difficult thing to live with CF. Suppressing really difficult emotions is very common and sometimes the only viable option. Burying it lets you function.

It's always there though so if one day you feel like you can get some therapy, it would really benefit you.

 

[camberwell fox]

Thanks BN, that’s the edited version too…found out amongst all this that I have a half brother in Birmingham, my mum had a ‘black’ child in the early 60’s and had to have him adopted due to the ‘shame’…you couldn’t make it up, could you?

One thing is fir certain, I won’t “allow” my children to suffer how I have, for over 40 years…

 

[Lako42]

One thing is fir certain, I won’t “allow” my children to suffer how I have, for over 40 years…

And hopefully they will be better people for it..............much better

 

[Miles Away]

Had kidney stones a few times. Once on a 12 hour plane ride. **** me it’s horrible. Those stents, and their subsequent removal. Jesus.

On Lexapro for last 4 years for anxiety. Helpful. Recommend.

Modern life is quite shit. I don’t think you can underestimate the damage that having truly the worst, most incompetent, shameless people in the world in charge of everything does to the general population. My personal worldview started collapsing some time around 2016.

 

[give_us_a_wave]

Jesus.

This thread has turned into daytime TV hasn't it ? Carol Vorderman will be along in a bit to discuss the trials of the menopause with Gloria Hunniford.

Anyway...I may as well join in. Many of you already know that my health is essentially a work of fiction (as in, being healthy is a thing of the past) I got septic blood poisoning in 2011 which utterly ****ed my liver function. The only upside to this is that the liver is the body's only fully regenerative organ, so eventually it will recover...

...however, apparently by the time that happens the ageing process will have ****ed me so much anyway that it won't be much of an improvement. Brill.

Before 2011 I was an active soul. Went running 3 times a week, had an exercise bike at home along with a set of free weights. I'd watched the generation of men before me in my family turn into bloated red faced monstrosities (the ones who didn't die young) & was determined not to let that happen. At 45 people regularly assumed me to be in my mid 30s. If I had hair I'd have looked even younger.

By 47, a year into the after effects of the infection, I'd put on almost 3 stone due to not being able to exercise anymore, needed a stick to help me walk, was in constant pain & looked 8-10 years older than I was. A total life collapse. Had to give up my job. Ended up finding one that allowed me to work from home. Then ****ing covid trashed that too & I haven't worked since. I'm just grateful that I've always been a contrarian & refused to fall for the modern day con trick of permanent credit. If I'd had credit card debt, loans &/or a mortgage I'd have been vastly more ****ed.

I'm now 58 & a fat old **** with a stick. fair to say I never saw this ****er coming.

To bring things up to date, as I mentioned the other day in my apology to Ted for a somewhat over the top response to one of his posts, I had a doctors appointment last week which confirmed that a recent secondary infection which got past my now virtually worthless immune system has caused irreparable damage. Prognosis is that if I'm extremely health conscious, never have a drink again, enjoy a daily cocktail of almost a dozen pills, eat a heavily controlled & very expensive diet & try my best to avoid anything stressful then I might, just might, scrape through to 70. But it's a long shot. & every one of those years will see a significant deterioration in my overall health & ability to manage everyday tasks.

In short, I'm ****ing dying chaps.

I've not told my Mam yet. She's 86 in a couple of weeks & has watched 2 of her children die already so I'm hoping she goes before I need to tell her.
In fact you ****ers are the first to know. Not yet worked out who needs to know & who doesn't.

Anyway...the upshot of all this is that basically we need to get promoted ****ing sharpish so I can watch us in the PL again before I volley the bucket into the top corner.

Over to you Enzo. No ****ing pressure like.

 

[camberwell fox]

Jesus.

This thread has turned into daytime TV hasn't it ? Carol Vorderman will be along in a bit to discuss the trials of the menopause with Gloria Hunniford.

Anyway...I may as well join in. Many of you already know that my health is essentially a work of fiction (as in, being healthy is a thing of the past) I got septic blood poisoning in 2011 which utterly ****ed my liver function. The only upside to this is that the liver is the body's only fully regenerative organ, so eventually it will recover...

...however, apparently by the time that happens the ageing process will have ****ed me so much anyway that it won't be much of an improvement. Brill.

Before 2011 I was an active soul. Went running 3 times a week, had an exercise bike at home along with a set of free weights. I'd watched the generation of men before me in my family turn into bloated red faced monstrosities (the ones who didn't die young) & was determined not to let that happen. At 45 people regularly assumed me to be in my mid 30s. If I had hair I'd have looked even younger.

By 47, a year into the after effects of the infection, I'd put on almost 3 stone due to not being able to exercise anymore, needed a stick to help me walk, was in constant pain & looked 8-10 years older than I was. A total life collapse. Had to give up my job. Ended up finding one that allowed me to work from home. Then ****ing covid trashed that too & I haven't worked since. I'm just grateful that I've always been a contrarian & refused to fall for the modern day con trick of permanent credit. If I'd had credit card debt, loans &/or a mortgage I'd have been vastly more ****ed.

I'm now 58 & a fat old **** with a stick. fair to say I never saw this ****er coming.

To bring things up to date, as I mentioned the other day in my apology to Ted for a somewhat over the top response to one of his posts, I had a doctors appointment last week which confirmed that a recent secondary infection which got past my now virtually worthless immune system has caused irreparable damage. Prognosis is that if I'm extremely health conscious, never have a drink again, enjoy a daily cocktail of almost a dozen pills, eat a heavily controlled & very expensive diet & try my best to avoid anything stressful then I might, just might, scrape through to 70. But it's a long shot. & every one of those years will see a significant deterioration in my overall health & ability to manage everyday tasks.

In short, I'm ****ing dying chaps.

I've not told my Mam yet. She's 86 in a couple of weeks & has watched 2 of her children die already so I'm hoping she goes before I need to tell her.
In fact you ****ers are the first to know. Not yet worked out who needs to know & who doesn't.

Anyway...the upshot of all this is that basically we need to get promoted ****ing sharpish so I can watch us in the PL again before I volley the bucket into the top corner.

Over to you Enzo. No ****ing pressure like.

I’m not sure my “like” is appropriate but there aren’t many options are there.

I was feeling a little bit chipper until I read that, shit, that’s rough. Sorry to hear that.

 

[SilverFox]

I feel almost constantly sad at the moment. I have great things in my life, but also feel trapped in my work. I’m a business owner but can’t step out. The price of freedom sometimes feels like my sanity. I stay up late and drink too much. Anything to delay the next day. I’d rather be awake and delaying the start of it all again. Sometimes it feels desperate, but then at other times I feel like I’m fine. Right now I am really struggling with it. I know I will come through but it doesn’t feel like it right now.

I’m sunny and optimistic for my employees. I want them to be happy. I want to motivate, I want to inspire… inside I feel utterly empty.

Feels just kind of nice to say it. I don’t tell anyone.

 

[SilverFox]

Jesus.

This thread has turned into daytime TV hasn't it ? Carol Vorderman will be along in a bit to discuss the trials of the menopause with Gloria Hunniford.

Anyway...I may as well join in. Many of you already know that my health is essentially a work of fiction (as in, being healthy is a thing of the past) I got septic blood poisoning in 2011 which utterly ****ed my liver function. The only upside to this is that the liver is the body's only fully regenerative organ, so eventually it will recover...

...however, apparently by the time that happens the ageing process will have ****ed me so much anyway that it won't be much of an improvement. Brill.

Before 2011 I was an active soul. Went running 3 times a week, had an exercise bike at home along with a set of free weights. I'd watched the generation of men before me in my family turn into bloated red faced monstrosities (the ones who didn't die young) & was determined not to let that happen. At 45 people regularly assumed me to be in my mid 30s. If I had hair I'd have looked even younger.

By 47, a year into the after effects of the infection, I'd put on almost 3 stone due to not being able to exercise anymore, needed a stick to help me walk, was in constant pain & looked 8-10 years older than I was. A total life collapse. Had to give up my job. Ended up finding one that allowed me to work from home. Then ****ing covid trashed that too & I haven't worked since. I'm just grateful that I've always been a contrarian & refused to fall for the modern day con trick of permanent credit. If I'd had credit card debt, loans &/or a mortgage I'd have been vastly more ****ed.

I'm now 58 & a fat old **** with a stick. fair to say I never saw this ****er coming.

To bring things up to date, as I mentioned the other day in my apology to Ted for a somewhat over the top response to one of his posts, I had a doctors appointment last week which confirmed that a recent secondary infection which got past my now virtually worthless immune system has caused irreparable damage. Prognosis is that if I'm extremely health conscious, never have a drink again, enjoy a daily cocktail of almost a dozen pills, eat a heavily controlled & very expensive diet & try my best to avoid anything stressful then I might, just might, scrape through to 70. But it's a long shot. & every one of those years will see a significant deterioration in my overall health & ability to manage everyday tasks.

In short, I'm ****ing dying chaps.

I've not told my Mam yet. She's 86 in a couple of weeks & has watched 2 of her children die already so I'm hoping she goes before I need to tell her.
In fact you ****ers are the first to know. Not yet worked out who needs to know & who doesn't.

Anyway...the upshot of all this is that basically we need to get promoted ****ing sharpish so I can watch us in the PL again before I volley the bucket into the top corner.

Over to you Enzo. No ****ing pressure like.

Nothing but love your way my man. Don’t give up the fight.