Talking Balls Awards Nonsense 2012

[Blue Maniac]

Welcome everyone to the annual shitfest that is the Talking Balls Awards ceremony. Voting is about to close, not that that will make a difference, and the excitement has built to a barely audible murmur as we close in on the announcement of the winners of these apathy-inducing awards.

I'd like to start the party by looking back at the entertaining ceremonies of previous years, but there haven't been any. I'd also have liked to have a comedian come out here and tell a few jokes, but the only person who was interested was Peter Kay, so I told him to **** off. So instead, lets move straight to the handing out of the awards.

 

[Biff]

Did i win owt......

 

[Blue Maniac]

Did i win owt......

You've got four minutes to vote!

 

[Blaarev]

The bar service is beyond shambles!!!

 

[SwedeFox]

Speak up we can't hear ya at the back

 

[Blue Maniac]

Ladies and gentlemen, as we all know it is traditional for this to be a complete waste of time. Adhering to that tradition, tonight's first award is the Worst Thread award.

There's no overall winner of this award, with single votes going to a number of threads that I can't be bothered to list

 

[Blaarev]

Ladies and gentlemen, as we all know it is traditional for this to be a complete waste of time. Adhering to that tradition, tonight's first award is the Worst Thread award.

There's no overall winner of this award, with single votes going to a number of threads that I can't be bothered to list

Totally pointless!!!! Booooo

 

[Blue Maniac]

Next up is the Best Avatar award, for those who brighten our day with a lovely little square of some shit or other to distract us from the utter bollocks they're invariably posting.

In joint second place, with one vote each, Foxes ted, Nottingham, Swede, MK, pork pie and Cate, and Blue Maniac

And this year's winner, with three votes, SJN (aka 'that arse one')

 

[Blue Maniac]

Our third award tonight, to be presented by the late Tony Hart, is the Best Image Contributor award.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to present the Best Image Contributor award. In joint fourth place, with one vote apiece, spionfox and Blue Maniac despite the fact that the latter hasn't posted any images.

In joint second place, with two votes each, Desert Fox, Mawsley and The Major

But this year's winner, with four votes, Macky

 

[Blue Maniac]

Another complete waste of effort is the (hopefully last ever) Post of the Year award. This is also a shared award, with single votes for:

Joe_Fox (unspecified post)
Cate Fox ("Thats me screwed then")
Homer/Bobbins exchange
Some tits
Pear Son
Cafe claiming Hull sold out
Blue Maniac (?)
Motown Christmas Carol
and
The one Leicester's strikers keep hitting

 

[Blue Maniac]

Another category on its last legs is the Thread of the Year award. Single votes were entered for:

The Curry Thread
3G/4G
Ipswich post-match
What Are You Listening To Now?
Blue Maniac (?)
TB Awards 2012
Cardiff post-match

The joint winners, with two each:
Google Nexus 4
Random image thread
The Jug Thread

 

[pork pie fox]

Next up is the Best Avatar award, for those who brighten our day with a lovely little square of some shit or other to distract us from the utter bollocks they're invariably posting.

In joint second place, with one vote each, Foxes ted, Nottingham, Swede, MK, pork pie and Cate, and Blue Maniac

And this year's winner, with three votes, SJN (aka 'that arse one')

:icon_lol: I love the TB awards, I don't even have an avatar do I?

 

[spionfox]

In joint fourth place, with one vote apiece, spionfox.......

**** me. Result. Better than I expected. I'm a little emotional right now.

 

[Blue Maniac]

The Newcomer of the Year award is becoming more worthless every year, with the competition getting flimsier every time. Nonetheless, there were some votes, making a healthy and welcome change from last year.

There was an invalid vote for Blue Maniac, who doesn't qualify.

In joint second place, with one vote each: terry south, alli1, Pontus_Carpark and The Walrus

The winner of the 2012 Newcomer of the Year award, with three votes...




cafe

 

[Blue Maniac]

And now for the Knowitall of the Year award.

Joint fourth place, with one vote each: Profondo Rosso, Blue Maniac, Macky, M17TT C and cafe

In joint second, with two each, Matt_B and David Gwilliam

And the winner of the 2012 Knowitall of the Year award...







Brown Nose

 

[Blue Maniac]

A big part of Talking Balls, and a massive reason no new people stay for more than an hour and a half, is inside jokes. These are honoured with our Running Gag of the Year award. In joint fourth place for this year's award, with one vote each:

cafe
Everything aimed at cafe
Chains
Blue Maniac (erm...)
Complaints about running jokes
Scandinavian keyboards
and
What the **** is...?



In joint second, with two each: 3G/4G and Pear Son

And this year's winner, and old classic...




That sofa/laptop bollocks that started in 1975

 

[Blue Maniac]

Our next award is to honour the Mongiest of Blue Mongies. Yes, it's the Blue Mongie award!

Single votes for Graz, Blue Maniac, David Gwilliam, Sparky, alli1, RHYDAL, Lako42 and cafe and also a vote for 'one of the Lancashire lot', which has been discounted.

In second place, with two votes, jas123

And this year's Big Blue Mongie, with three votes...




dpjfox

 

[Blue Maniac]

Where would we be without liars? **** knows, it's a stupid question. This year's Liar of the Year isn't as clear-cut as last year's, which SuperScout scooped unchallenged.

Single votes were submitted for: jas123, Blue Maniac, Joe_Fox and Billyjof (albeit from himself, but I decided to count it on a whim).

The joint winners, with two votes each...






cafe and terry south

 

[Lako42]

Just to let you all know, I spiked the wrong drink so apologies to someone.

 

[Blue Maniac]

Talking Balls is infested with some of the most miserable, sour-faced, anti-fun people to ever walk the earth. And this award is for those very special people.

Single votes have been submitted for homer, Mawsley, Blue Maniac, Brown Nose, Macky, cafe, terry south and bocadillo

In third place, with two votes, Biffa Bacon the miserable ****.

In second, with three votes, Redditch

And our winner, with four votes the official most miserable ****er on all of Talking Balls...








Lako42