The random joke thread

[Profondo Rosso]

One, but he has to be very careful.

 

[Profondo Rosso]

How many time travellers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

[tedfoxxx]

Took me ages to figure that out Prof.

 

[RHYDAL]

How many time travellers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who?

 

[MKFox]

One, but he has to be very careful.

:icon_bigg

 

[Profondo Rosso]

Took me ages to figure that out Prof.

It would have worked better if it hadn't gone over the page. :icon_lol:

 

[Profondo Rosso]

Alert: If you're approached by The Anagram Shop claiming to sell Macs for cheap, don't buy one....... It's a scam.

 

[Profondo Rosso]

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two, but it's really difficult to get them in there.

 

[MHS]

What do a woman and a food blender have in common?

They both make good food but you wouldn't want to lick them out when they are on.

 

[RHYDAL]

Definition of irony......fish eating raw Japanese people.

(Is this too soon?)

 

[spionfox]

What do a woman and a food blender have in common?

They both make good food but you wouldn't want to lick them out when they are on.

 

[Blue Maniac]

God visits a man and tells him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into Heaven. "I'll try my best," promises the man.
God visits the man a week later to see how he's getting on.
"Not bad" says the man, "I've binned the cancer sticks and the whiskey's down the sink. But when the wife bent over the freezer last Saturday I had to **** her up the arse".
"They dont like that in Heaven", replies God.
"They're not too happy about it in Morrisons either."







Is that my coat? Ta.

 

[bocadillo]

God visits a man and tells him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into Heaven. "I'll try my best," promises the man.
God visits the man a week later to see how he's getting on.
"Not bad" says the man, "I've binned the cancer sticks and the whiskey's down the sink. But when the wife bent over the freezer last Saturday I had to **** her up the arse".
"They dont like that in Heaven", replies God.
"They're not too happy about it in Morrisons either."

The old ones are the best - even thinly disguised old ones

 

[Blue Maniac]

The old ones are the best - even thinly disguised old ones

The old ones are shite. Apologies.

 

[Motown Fox]

The old ones are shite. Apologies.

I don't think Boc is that bad.

 

[spionfox]

I don't think Boc is that bad.

He's not that old either really!!

 

[Motown Fox]

... A dyslexic kid asks his mum for a McDonald's, she says "You can have one if you can spell it" The kid replies "**** it ill have a KCF

 

[LCFC'sGodWears9]

Stephen Hawking went on his first date for 10 years last night, he came back with broken glasses, fractured arm, a grazed knee & a bloody nose.. Apparently she'd stood him up..


It's poor I know..

 

[Blue Maniac]

Stephen Hawking went on his first date for 10 years last night, he came back with broken glasses, fractured arm, a grazed knee & a bloody nose.. Apparently she'd stood him up..


It's poor I know..

Sounds like a night with his ex-missus.

 

[Profondo Rosso]

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.