To the married blokes...

[pork pie fox]

Yes. Not sure it's worth the bother of every week my wife insisting that we have to tidy up for them...

We go through the same dance every week. I'm told it's so that the cleaners can clean, rather than have to tidy. In fairness it saves me having to sort the kids' shite out though, as they have to sort their rooms out each week too.

 

[Joe_Fox]

Ha ha that's it! I'd imagine having a cleaner forces you to tidy up. For the record, I don't and doubt ever will have a cleaner. My partner wants one but I just can't bring myself to do it. Feels all too la-di-da.

 

[Darth Vodka]

This is an interesting candid thread. My wife and I are about to go our separate ways and one of the reasons is that I never took charge of things like the meals… I can do cooking, it’s more the planning. Seems like a daft reason on paper, but it is what it is, she’s a bit funny like that. In related news, if anyone fancies being a wingman on a night out in Leicester (or Nottingham or Melton) to someone in their 40s, DM me

 

[give_us_a_wave]

This is an interesting candid thread. My wife and I are about to go our separate ways and one of the reasons is that I never took charge of things like the meals… I can do cooking, it’s more the planning. Seems like a daft reason on paper, but it is what it is, she’s a bit funny like that. In related news, if anyone fancies being a wingman on a night out in Leicester (or Nottingham or Melton) to someone in their 40s, DM me

You've opened yourself up to all sorts there !

I reckon you'd best describe what sort of bloke in your 40s you are.

Are you more the relaxed drinking space & sophisticated raconteur type ?

Or are you going to score a gram of coke off that bloke you used to hang around with & end up being sucked off in the back of an Uber by a pissed up student at 3am ?

 

[pork pie fox]

You've opened yourself up to all sorts there !

I reckon you'd best describe what sort of bloke in your 40s you are.

Are you more the relaxed drinking space & sophisticated raconteur type ?

Or are you going to score a gram of coke off that bloke you used to hang around with & end up being sucked off in the back of an Uber by a pissed up student at 3am ?

Of all the things I had you down as, a dating consultant was not one. Bravo.

 

[give_us_a_wave]

Of all the things I had you down as, a dating consultant was not one. Bravo.

Renaissance man, that's me.

 

[Brown Nose]

This is an interesting candid thread. My wife and I are about to go our separate ways and one of the reasons is that I never took charge of things like the meals… I can do cooking, it’s more the planning. Seems like a daft reason on paper, but it is what it is, she’s a bit funny like that. In related news, if anyone fancies being a wingman on a night out in Leicester (or Nottingham or Melton) to someone in their 40s, DM me

Firstly, sorry to hear about your marriage. I know the following is based on very little information but here goes.

I'll assume that you both have fully considered everything and the reasons for the split are much more than planning meals! It reads a bit like you're annoying each other with trivial things and they've built up and now you both just can't be arsed with it any more. Have you tried marriage counselling? That sort of thing is incredibly common and also something that isn't fatal for a marriage. Sometimes couples just get a bit lost. I'd emphasise the importance of trying everything even more if kids are involved.

Assuming it is over, the last thing I'd recommend is going straight out to get pissed and try to pick up someone. It may make you feel better about yourself for a few hours but it isn't what you need. I'd be terrified of the 'market place' in bars and clubs for 40 somethings. It must be savage.

You'll be carrying anger, bitterness, confusion, rejection, upset and much more. That's no way to be. I'd suggest that you get your shit together and then work out what you want and how best to go about getting it.

 

[fitz]

I'm proper shit at cooking. The technical not burning side of things I'm great with....It's just the remembering you're doing other stuff and times. Can make a fine chilli or something and then it take 2 hours because the rice still isn't in a pan.

Sorry to hear it's gone that way mate. Me and my mrs are both from childhoods where there were unhappy and pointless marriages that make us both much less likely to stick it out when it comes to difficulties. At the same time, step backs can be needed....

 

[Darth Vodka]

Firstly, sorry to hear about your marriage. I know the following is based on very little information but here goes.

I'll assume that you both have fully considered everything and the reasons for the split are much more than planning meals! It reads a bit like you're annoying each other with trivial things and they've built up and now you both just can't be arsed with it any more. Have you tried marriage counselling? That sort of thing is incredibly common and also something that isn't fatal for a marriage. Sometimes couples just get a bit lost. I'd emphasise the importance of trying everything even more if kids are involved.

Assuming it is over, the last thing I'd recommend is going straight out to get pissed and try to pick up someone. It may make you feel better about yourself for a few hours but it isn't what you need. I'd be terrified of the 'market place' in bars and clubs for 40 somethings. It must be savage.

You'll be carrying anger, bitterness, confusion, rejection, upset and much more. That's no way to be. I'd suggest that you get your shit together and then work out what you want and how best to go about getting it.

Thanks, it’s beyond saving and beyond counselling

It’s been a gradual decline, been coming a while

There’s no animosity, there is no getting shit together

Yeah the 40s market place is probably horrible, but meh, so are dating apps

I’m taking the opportunity to look after myself a bit better . Last time after a break up , I lived on Ryvita and vodka…not this time, I don’t want to be the cliche drunken divorcee , mumbling “my ex is a bitch” into my beer as nobody listens

We had good years, we’re staying friends, we have a kid to bring up

 

[FOX Franks]

Thanks, it’s beyond saving and beyond counselling

It’s been a gradual decline, been coming a while

There’s no animosity, there is no getting shit together

Yeah the 40s market place is probably horrible, but meh, so are dating apps

I’m taking the opportunity to look after myself a bit better . Last time after a break up , I lived on Ryvita and vodka…not this time, I don’t want to be the cliche drunken divorcee , mumbling “my ex is a bitch” into my beer as nobody listens

We had good years, we’re staying friends, we have a kid to bring up

If you want my advice, don’t go anywhere near dating apps. They will sink you into absolute depression.

The trick is get out there and do stuff, volunteer, say yes to everything you can and do things you like. You’ll meet someone eventually.
I know someone mid 40s on dating apps. They have lost hope in humanity because of it…!

 

[tedfoxxx]

Yeah give yourself some time DV.

To offer another perspective on this, as the child of parents who got divorced in a very acrimonious way, try and shelter them from the finer details.

My mum told me way too much about her divorce at a young age and it’s just no good for anyone. They’d done the hard part of never fighting in front of me or using me as a weapon and all that but then went and unloaded way too much heavy shit on me after the fact.

Anyways, it sounds like you’ve had time to process things a bit and if it’s an unhappy relationship then you’ve both absolutely done the right thing to end it.

Just give yourself a bit of time and if you do feel like having fun and meeting people remember to do it in a way that’s respectful to your ex.

 

[Darth Vodka]

Yeah give yourself some time DV.

To offer another perspective on this, as the child of parents who got divorced in a very acrimonious way, try and shelter them from the finer details.

My mum told me way too much about her divorce at a young age and it’s just no good for anyone. They’d done the hard part of never fighting in front of me or using me as a weapon and all that but then went and unloaded way too much heavy shit on me after the fact.

Anyways, it sounds like you’ve had time to process things a bit and if it’s an unhappy relationship then you’ve both absolutely done the right thing to end it.

Just give yourself a bit of time and if you do feel like having fun and meeting people remember to do it in a way that’s respectful to your ex.

That’s awesome advice, thanks a lot

 

[tedfoxxx]

That’s awesome advice, thanks a lot

No worries mate, take care of yourself. Breakups ****ing suck, even when you want them/see them coming.

Hope you can find some time to do stuff you enjoy!

 

[Elon Bust]

Thanks, it’s beyond saving and beyond counselling

It’s been a gradual decline, been coming a while

There’s no animosity, there is no getting shit together

Yeah the 40s market place is probably horrible, but meh, so are dating apps

I’m taking the opportunity to look after myself a bit better . Last time after a break up , I lived on Ryvita and vodka…not this time, I don’t want to be the cliche drunken divorcee , mumbling “my ex is a bitch” into my beer as nobody listens

We had good years, we’re staying friends, we have a kid to bring up

I am 33 and single, which is not where I wanted to be at this age but there you go. I haven't been on dating apps for over two years and some people act like I'm crazy for missing out on this supposed goldmine.

The older you get, the more cynical, defensive and desperate people become on there. It's not that being off dating apps is wonderful, but being on them is worse. You waste so much time talking to women you'll probably never meet anyway. They're addictive and unfulfilling.

 

[SilverFox]

I’d have more disposable income, I’d go to the gym after work every day so I’d be much fitter…

But I’d be miserable