Cats are driving me insane

[tedfoxxx]

Far too feeble, you could at least have made it a whole apple, try a Braeburn or preferably one of those large cooking apples

And bruise my pink lady?! They're jolly expensive, and I didn't actively hunt down the cat, soggy apple core in hand.

There's a house round the corner from with a bucket full of bramley apples out front, offering them for free to passers-by. One of those feckers will take the ginger git's head off.

 

[Motown Fox]

This woman takes her cat with the dogs for a walk

 

[indierich06]

A thought occurs. I don't wish to make light of the situation, but are you the world's lightest sleeper? Do these cats have megaphones? Do you not have windows? I don't quite understand how they're keeping you up. Also, why are they upset? If their owners aren't feeding them, they've no business having cats. Whatever you do, don't start feeding them yourself because they'll try to move in. Get some sort of cat deterrent. Sprays or something that annoys them. Back in the days I used to sell such things, several customers would say the most effective was the sonic repeller I mentioned above. Do it.

I'm actually quite a heavy sleeper and it takes a lot to drag me from my sleep, so they're making quite a din - I feel bad for my flatmate who is a very light sleeper, we're both on the front of the house, he's upstairs and I'm downstairs. The windows in our rooms are single glazed, so they're not excellent at keeping noise out anyway. I might try a covert filming operation so you guys can guage what I'm dealing with.

I'm pretty sure it's a territorial issue - there are a LOT of cats in the surrounding area and these two obviously don't like it when other cats come onto their street. They mostly just wail to keep the other cats away I think, but when they start scrapping it's even louder.

I'm sure if these cats could operate them, they'd definitely be using megaphones. They are massive bastards. Me and my flatmate have decided to go Shock and Awe on these beasts - We've got several fully loaded water pistols at hand at all times, I keep a couple of pints of water handy when I go to bed at night If we ever see any cats outside of our house, we go out there and chase them off/spray/chuck water over them.

Hopefully word will get around the feline community that our house is a no go area.

 

[Mawsley]

we're both on the front of the house, he's upstairs and I'm downstairs.

It does make me smile the way the you all use euphemisms to describe yourselves - I suppose me and the wife are a 1up:1down at times too but I've never thought about it like that. Anyway, good on you for being able to be all out about it and that kind of thing. I know when I was young all of the young men were terribly put upon by society and had to remain 'in the shared house' as it were.

"Hopefully word will get around the feline community that our house is a no go area."

I'm sure it will, dear boy, I'm sure it will

 

[bocadillo]

I heard Mawsley mentioned on R5L this morning.

 

[Mawsley]

I heard Mawsley mentioned on R5L this morning.

I knew I should never have started importing illegals to work in my crack-whore brothel.

 

[indierich06]

It does make me smile the way the you all use euphemisms to describe yourselves - I suppose me and the wife are a 1up:1down at times too but I've never thought about it like that. Anyway, good on you for being able to be all out about it and that kind of thing. I know when I was young all of the young men were terribly put upon by society and had to remain 'in the shared house' as it were.

"Hopefully word will get around the feline community that our house is a no go area."

I'm sure it will, dear boy, I'm sure it will

It's no laughing matter - these cats are putting us off our arsesex.

 

[RHYDAL]

It's no laughing matter - these cats are putting us off our arsesex.

Aren't they dead yet?

 

[Dour]

Cats don't like fireworks. You could try sending up an really noisy airbomb every time they come out at night.

 

[RHYDAL]

Cats don't like fireworks inserted.

Hmmm kinky.

 

[H T B]

Get a catapult, see how many you can knock off the wall before they take the hint.
Bit quieter than an air rifle

 

[M17TT C]

If you've not got much on this weekend then you could always try this:



I'm a massive cat lover before anyone starts moaning about cruelty but sometimes comedy comes before love.

 

[Mawsley]

I'm a massive cat lover

You **** big cats or you're a big **** who ****s cats?