Cats are driving me insane

[Cate Fox]

Cats are pointless c***s owned by lazy c***s. They should be rounded up and burnt to provide heat in old peoples homes.

I'm far from being a lazy c**t thanks very much :icon_sad:

 

[SwedeFox]

 

[homer]

Did alex give you those, swedey ?

 

[MKFox]

Cats are pointless c***s owned by lazy c***s. They should be rounded up and burnt to provide heat in old peoples homes.

Shite, agree with a Druid... I feel dirty

 

[RHYDAL]

But OAP homes are also full of pointless, lazy *****.

Exactly, so why waste valuable gas or electricity on them when a smouldering cat will do the job just as well.
And the smell of piss will drown out the smell of singed fur too so everyone's a winner.

 

[Billyjof]

This anecdote may not be of much use.

A few decades ago on moving to our new house a cat kept letting itself in and pissing all over our nice new curtains. Mother stayed up one night caught the pesky tom and locked it in a room. Next day took it to the vets and had it nipped, then released it back into society.

Solved that problem. Owners none the wiser.

Someones wandering old lab (It was allowed to roam freely usually depositing bits of carcass given to it by the local butcher) also got a necklace made of balloons and party strings with a polite note saying please stop your mut shitting all over our garden or we will drive it somewhere far away and see if it makes it back .

 

[Mawsley]

Next day took it to the vets and had it nipped, then released it back into society.

Someone did that in our village and the owners were incensed.

Personally, if a cat is allowed to roam it ceases to be a pet and becomes vermin - fair game for country sports in my book. If it roams into my garden I should be able to bring about a swift death. And by 'cat' I mean 'thieving gypsy bastard'.

 

[city-faithful]

Follow the old adage of 'if you can't be them join them' and get up there for a good yowl yourself. You never know, they might be onto something. For an added bonus, they might accept you into their gang and you can exact revenge by taking the gang to the owners garden for a good hearty sing one night.

 

[RHYDAL]

I'm far from being a lazy c**t thanks very much :icon_sad:

Do you exercise your pet in a controlled manner, or simply open the back door and let them please themself? (worse still have a catflap because you can't even be arsed to open the door?)
Do you buy pouches of food because opening a tin and chopping meat is too much hastle?
Do you clear up after your pet or believe poo is biodegradable so will self cleanse.
Do you brush and bath your pet, or are you happy to have a saliva covered furbag sit on your lap and rub up against visitors to your home?

Nothing personal. I just hate cats. Next door have 5 of the bleeders and forced me to buy a dog to keep them out of my garden. She is a lazy c***. Husband does all the cooking and housework while she swans off abroad with her mates on a regular basis on his credit card allowing her cats to do what ever they will. He is thick as shit. C****.

 

[RHYDAL]

Someone did that in our village and the owners were incensed.

Personally, if a cat is allowed to roam it ceases to be a pet and becomes vermin - fair game for country sports in my book. If it roams into my garden I should be able to bring about a swift death. And by 'cat' I mean 'thieving gypsy bastard'.

Do you live near Swansea?

 

[Mawsley]

Do you live near Swansea?

:icon_lol:

I just read your post to Cate and was about to write the very same question!

Dad's family comes from Mumbles.

 

[Blue Maniac]

Do you exercise your pet in a controlled manner, or simply open the back door and let them please themself? (worse still have a catflap because you can't even be arsed to open the door?)

You try putting a lead on a cat.

Do you buy pouches of food because opening a tin and chopping meat is too much hastle?

Eh?

Do you clear up after your pet or believe poo is biodegradable so will self cleanse.

Cat owners should have litter trays and should empty them frequently.

Do you brush and bath your pet

You try putting a cat in a bath.

or are you happy to have a saliva covered furbag sit on your lap and rub up against visitors to your home?

Visitors have the option to wave the nearest foot at my cats, they usually get the message.

Nothing personal. I just hate cats. Next door have 5 of the bleeders and forced me to buy a dog to keep them out of my garden. She is a lazy c***. Husband does all the cooking and housework while she swans off abroad with her mates on a regular basis on his credit card allowing her cats to do what ever they will. He is thick as shit. C****.

Yep, sounds like a complete ****.

 

[RHYDAL]

You try putting a lead on a cat.

Does a snare count?

Eh?

My point is cats are the pet of choice of women and gays

Cat owners should have litter trays and should empty them frequently.

Cat owners should use a toilet like everyone else.

You try putting a cat in a bath.

If it was up to me they'd all be in a bath. With a lid on.

Visitors have the option to wave the nearest foot at my cats, they usually get the message.

Cats are c****. They sneak up from behind and rub their stink on you before you get a chance to convert them.

Yep, sounds like a complete ****.

Agreed.

 

[Mawsley]

It's old news, but what the **** does Ronald think he's doing in the picture?

Is he running some kind of awareness program in his front room?

"I am being forced to keep them in. I just can't afford to let them go, but they're eager to get outside."

Twat.

 

[RHYDAL]

It's old news, but what the **** does Ronald think he's doing in the picture?

Is he running some kind of awareness program in his front room?

"I am being forced to keep them in. I just can't afford to let them go, but they're eager to get outside."

Twat.

Why would you need six cats? Why? C***.

 

[MKFox]

'if you can't be them join them'

:icon_conf

 

[Blaby blue blood]

'if you can't be them join them'

The Feline Centipede!

 

[Cate Fox]

Do you exercise your pet in a controlled manner, or simply open the back door and let them please themself? (worse still have a catflap because you can't even be arsed to open the door?)
Do you buy pouches of food because opening a tin and chopping meat is too much hastle?
Do you clear up after your pet or believe poo is biodegradable so will self cleanse.
Do you brush and bath your pet, or are you happy to have a saliva covered furbag sit on your lap and rub up against visitors to your home?

Nothing personal. I just hate cats. Next door have 5 of the bleeders and forced me to buy a dog to keep them out of my garden. She is a lazy c***. Husband does all the cooking and housework while she swans off abroad with her mates on a regular basis on his credit card allowing her cats to do what ever they will. He is thick as shit. C****.

Answers as follows:

1. Yes I exercise them in a controlled manner, indoors. They dont go outside.
2. My cats will not eat most varieties of tinned cat food, the little shites will not even eat fresh chicken. Therefore I am stuck with pouches.
3. I clean out my cat litter twice, sometimes 3 times a day.
4. I brush my cats, I cant stand the fur being everywhere.

I wont take it personally now then

 

[SJN-Fox]

You try putting a lead on a cat.

You don't need a lead ...

 

[FoxCovert]

Fat ginger cats generally tend to be c***s (in my experience). There's one that keeps letting itself into my girlfriends house, shitting, spraying and eating her cat's food. We've caught it beating the shit out of Bertie (her cat) a few times, also.

Our methods for keeping it away haven't stretched beyond me throwing an apple core at it.

Far too feeble, you could at least have made it a whole apple, try a Braeburn or preferably one of those large cooking apples