New ex-players (and managers) thread

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Was looking forward to MNF but realised I don't think I can bring myself to watching Kante play for Chelsea! :(
 
Why don't you all just have sex with him then. Get a room!
 

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Much like I suspected, he spent most of the match strolling around the centre circle getting a sideways pass and then giving a sideways pass.

What a fecking criminal waste of his talent.
 
A couple of weeks ago, we hired Matt Elliott to play 5-a-side with us for my brother's stag do. I was half expecting him to turn up and maybe have a quick kick around with us for a few minutes, say hello to my brother, pose for some photographs and be on his way.

Not so. He got changed into a kit, showed us some warm-up games, played a 40-minute game with us (20-minute each way), and then showed us a shooting game called lightning. He posed for photos before and after the game. I thought that would definitely be his job done.

Wrong again. He joined us for a drink in the bar afterwards and talked to us about this season, his work in the media and his playing days. The worst player he's ever played with? Junior Lewis. The best player he's ever played against? Dennis Bergkamp.

We were heading off to Top Golf after the footy (20-minute drive away in the wrong direction). What did Matt do? He bloody well came along. Had another drink with us, chatted some more and ended up staying for another hour or two.

Always thought he was a great bloke, but he really made the day extra special for my brother. What a legend.

(We saw Dele Alli at Top Golf. I wasn't sure whether to break his legs or take a photo. Took a photo, and it turned out there was no need to break his legs - he got himself suspended for 3 games a couple of days later).

Bit of a follow up on this...

It was my brother's wedding a couple of weekends ago. The best men got back in touch with Matt beforehand and asked if he could record a video message for a segment of their speech.

He did, and it was a really nice, well thought out and really funny message. Lots of references to some of the jokes from the stag do and some really nice words.

Top, top bloke.
 
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