Talking Balls Awards Shambles 2011

[Blue Maniac]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment **** all none of you have been waiting for. It's time for the annual disgrace that is the Talking Balls Awards Ceremony. Voting has now closed, so any PMs I get now can piss right off.

Just a small introduction first. The TB Awards are traditionally a ****ing shambles, and with just a handful of people voting, 2011 promises to be no different. Regrettably only one of the website's illustrious moderators has submitted any votes, so that tells us their opinion of the annual shitfest.

Now, without further flapping of gums, let's hand out some worthless virtual awards...

 

[Blue Maniac]

Macky you ****. You're a couple of minutes late but I'll count it.

 

[Blue Maniac]

First award tonight, boys and girls, is Avatar of the Year. Not many votes cast in this category.

In third place, with one vote, is Steven albeit, as the voter specifically stated, for irony value.

Joint winners of the Avatar of the Year award, with two votes apiece...

SJN's woman's arse avatar, and Cate's Keep Calm

 

[SwedeFox]

I hope you're not going to be mean like Ricky Gervais because then I will cry.

 

[Blue Maniac]

Second up is the Best Image Contributor award.

In joint second place, with one vote each...
SJN, Desert Fox, The Major and MK Fox

The winner, with three votes...

Macky

 

[Mawsley]

What the **** is an SJN?

 

[Blue Maniac]

Third award tonight is the Running Gag of the Year award. It's divided opinion between the few of you who have voted, and as such is another split award. With two votes apiece, the award is shared by...

Laptop / sofa etc, The List, and What the **** is...

 

[Blue Maniac]

The next award is a prestigious one indeed. It's the one that shows the Talking Balls community is really growing all the time. It's the Newcomer of the Year award.

The unanimous runaway winner, with zero votes...

**** all nobody

 

[Blue Maniac]

Next up is the Liar of the Year award. Someone suggested it didn't even need a vote! But we did it anyway.

The unanimous winner, with 14 votes...

SuperScout

 

[Mawsley]

Yeh, **** off all of you new ****s.

 

[Blue Maniac]

Friends, it's time for the Blue Mongie of the Year award. This is consistently awarded to the mongiest and bluest of blue mongies.

In joint fourth place, with one vote apiece, SuperScout, Rotherham Fox and Boy Genius

In joint second, with two each, gregs_y2k and Blue Maniac :icon_redf

But your winner this year, with three votes...

lanxfox jnr

 

[Blue Maniac]

Insiders give us information we wouldn't normally have access to, be it to do with our football club, the government, foreign governments or evil corporations.

There were three nominees for this award. In third place, with one vote... Steven for his knowledge of all things Apple.

In second place, with three votes, Nottingham Fox

But your winner this year, ladies and gentlemen, with four votes...

BOB HAZELL

 

[Blue Maniac]

Now for the Knowitall of the Year award. I know you're all very excited about this one. Will the winner be one of those who posts essays in every thread? Will it be one of those ****s who always corrects people? Or will it be somebody who's just so matter-of-fact about everything that they come across as all-knowing? It's time to find out...

In joint third place, with one vote each...
Profondo Rosso, Brown Nose, Blue Maniac, SuperScout and TornadoShaunUK

In second place, on two votes... Bocadillo

And with three votes, the winner of the Knowitall of the Year award 2011... Jeff

 

[Hazzman]

Nottingham Fox...insider!!

 

[Blue Maniac]

Some people have worked hard for the next award. Others had to put in no effort whatsoever. It's the Moron of the Year award!

There were single votes for alli, Steven, Kingy85, TornadoShaunUK and fludie

In second place, with two votes... Mawsley

And your winner, with a whopping six votes...

Superscout

 

[Blue Maniac]

I always thought Post of the Year was going to be difficult, and so it proved. There is no outright winner of this award, but the following got one vote each:

Homer's fake press announcement
Homer calling someone an idiot
"I love tits" by alex
Macky abusefest (any)
lanxfox jnr's "Black man" post in the Doncaster post-match thread

 

[Blue Maniac]

Some people like to annoy, others like to be annoyed. That's why we have a Most Annoying Poster award.

With one vote each, in joint second place are: Matt_B, Brown Nose, syd, Foxes Trust, markysochaux, Mawsley, Boy Genius, SuperScout and Lako42

But your winner, with three votes...

Profondo Rosso

 

[Blue Maniac]

Just like being annoying, some people just love to be miserable twats. Our next awards is for the Most Miserable Poster of 2011.

There were single votes for Blue Maniac, Mawsley and gregs_y2k

In joint third place, with two votes each... homer and Boy Genius

In second place, on three votes, Redditch Fox

But your winner this year, with a mighty four votes...

Lako42

 

[Blue Maniac]

People vote on Thread of the Year for many reasons. Maybe a thread has particular significance to them. Maybe it's because a thread has struck a chord, or has taught them something, or maybe it's just because of its relevance. Maybe it's just so mind blowingly stupid that they simply must remember it.

In joint third, with one vote each... The Jug Thread, the Gabrielle Giffords thread, DD's brand new safehouse, and Hello mum...

In second, with two votes, is the Lovely Ladies thread.

And in first place, with four votes...

SuperScout's stupid ****ing list

 

[Blue Maniac]

Five more awards and then you can switch over to the wank channels or NFL.

Veteran of the Year is for those who've got **** all better to do than talk bollocks with you wankers... for five or more years!

One vote each for Macky, Matt_B and Joe_Fox

Two votes for Hazzman

In second place, with three votes... Jeff

But your winner, with four votes...

Bocadillo