The Apprentice 2012

[spionfox]

Not long now until the latest crop of weirdos come to entertain us........

 

[Jeff]

The latest crop of weirdo's what?

 

[spionfox]

WTF are you on about? :icon_wink

 

[Mawsley]

I'm a natural born business leader, cut me and I bleed sales. I don't know the meaning of words 'lose', 'loser', 'lost' or 'lobotomy'.

There is no team in I, just the soul of a profit beast. I prowl the business outback preying upon the weak and hunting down golden opportunities.

I'm not Sir Alan's next right-hand man; I'm the next Sir Alan. In fact, I'm the equivalent of a whole team of Sir Alans scoring business goals and playing in a league of my own.

Etc.

I will feel like a cheap whore with low self-esteem from a life of giving ham-shandies over my tits for a quid, but I will watch it all the same.

 

[Matt_B]

It has gotten too much like Big Brother now, with people just applying to get famous.

 

[Mawsley]

It has gotten too much like Big Brother now, with people just applying to get famous.

Yep. That's why I keep applying, well, that and being locked up in a house with some bossy fit birds in tight business blouses.

I'd be ace, I have all the quotations ready. They never ****ing interview me though, the ****s.

 

[Macky]

I will feel like a cheap whore with low self-esteem from a life of giving ham-shandies over my tits for a quid, but I will watch it all the same.

Don't do it, it just encourages them. Just turn this bollocks the **** off and stop watching such inane, brain liquefying dogshit. If people keep watching this putrid swill like mindless, Pavlovian drones then they will just keep on shovelling it out.
Where's your self-respect? Well, okay, maybe that's a stupid question, but still.

 

[Mawsley]

Where's your self-respect?

Didn't you read my quotes? I was born for this show.

One day I'll be a fat man spouting shite, the next day I'll be paid to be a fat man spouting shite. Bono will get me to help him save the world, Osbourne will seek out my opinions on the economy and I'll be sorting the chaff from the chaff on X-Factor. I'll be doing cheeky nude sessions for OK magazine, talking to Phillip Greyhairs and the bird with tits on the daytime sofa and guesting for Chris Evans on Radio Bland.

If you can't beat the establishment, lobotomise yourself is what I always say. Selling out is the new black (which was the new comedy after comedy became the new black).

 

[M17TT C]

No fat birds for a change which is a good start though I do agree with Matt B that it is has turned into a chance to get 5 minutes of fame. One of the blokes on it this year is a wrestler ffs and also used to be a pop-star in a previous life!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...pprentice-Ricky-Martin.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

 

[bocadillo]

Just realised that I know one of the contestants, Maria O'Connor, by sight. Surprised to see that she says that she owns a restaurant because her mother seems to think she does and it's her mother who has been running it whenever I have been there.

 

[Leesoh]

No fat birds for a change

Really? I thought a couple were porkers, but that could just be my hypercritical female rationale.

For the record, I'm a bloater.

 

[M17TT C]

Well compared to what is in the same office as me there are definitely no fat birds in there!!

Nothing that special on closer inspection though but Katie & the Scottish bird are the early favourites for me.

 

[fitz]

It has gotten too much like Big Brother now, with people just applying to get famous.

A colleague of mine was on last year and the media interest in her remains, seems an odd one as I can't even remember past winners names nevermind care what they're up to or wearing.

 

[spionfox]

Only just got round to watching the first episode. I thought Bilyana should go but reckoned she would be kept in as she made for better television. In the boardroom Katie was all set to go and then the stupid bigmouth Bilyana goes and talks herself into a sacking! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!

 

[Leesoh]

My word, these candidates are thick.

 

[fitz]

There's some geet hairy bints this year.

 

[spionfox]

Why didn't that thick Northerner get it? Her voice is really grating on me!

 

[homer]

Why didn't that thick Northerner get it?

She probably did, the filthy mare.....

 

[Mawsley]

A room full of shouty, screamy females really challenges views about women in the workplace and clearly demonstrates how the private sector is more efficient & well-run than anything in the public sector.

 

[M17TT C]

Couldn't believe Maria went last night - might not have done a great deal but least she didn't fook up basic figures or have the most annoying voice in the world as well as being ugly, which yes, should be a sackable offence. Northern Bint also bombarded the shitty idea back into play despite numerous people telling them it was shit which is why both her and the PM should have gone before Maria. PM does look a bit of a dirtbag though so maybes not a bad call keeping her in.

Anyone know the lad that's done **** all and said **** all so far? Never heard him even being referred to apart from in the opening board room scene where he seemed to be doing a very good impression of a raver sweating his tits off on disco biscuits!?! Got a really small head too but aint a clue what his name is or what he does so reckon he could go next week already!!