The random joke thread

[lazzer]

Sky News: Boy aged four found dead in a tumble dryer.

Don't they know if you wash him at 30, there's an 80% chance he'll live?

:icon_sad:

 

[Matt_B]

It wasn't being crucified that killed Jesus, it was a disease left on the wood by the previous victim...


****ing cross contamination!

 

[Motown Fox]

A mate of mine has just told me he's having it away with both his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Oh it's easy her brother's got a moustache!"

 

[FryattFox]

A mate of mine has just told me he's having it away with both his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Oh it's easy her brother's got a moustache!"

Yeah, a *mate* of yours...

I think this belongs in here

 

[Darth Vodka]

for some reason i have an image of both Mario and Princess on the job now



think i need to stop playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 so much

 

[manxfox]

Do you like hot women that scream in bed?

Check out the burns unit at the hospital.

 

[Hector]

Do you like hot women that scream in bed?

Check out the burns unit at the hospital.

I don't understand. Isnt that the ward where all the patients are reciting:

"Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel's as others see us!"

or
"The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley"

or
"Yon rose-buds in the morning dew, How pure amang the leaves sae green"

 

[The Major]

I don't understand. Isnt that the ward where all the patients are reciting:

"Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel's as others see us!"

or
"The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley"

or
"Yon rose-buds in the morning dew, How pure amang the leaves sae green"

I feel, in this case, an expanation of the joke might be appropripate.

 

[Blue Maniac]

I feel, in this case, an expanation of the joke might be appropripate.

We don't explain jokes round here. Oh wait...

 

[SJN-Fox]

I don't understand. Isnt that the ward where all the patients are reciting:

"Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel's as others see us!"

or
"The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley"

or
"Yon rose-buds in the morning dew, How pure amang the leaves sae green"

I seen it

 

[lazzer]

Hector had taken the words burns unit and changed the definition from a physical burn to Burns the poet.

 

[Darth Vodka]

"o' mice an' men"

John Steinbeck

 

[tedfoxxx]

John Steinbeck

Darth Vodka is refering to John Steinbeck's book, 'Of Mice and Men' Which is based on the poem 'To a Mouse' by Burns.

 

[Darth Vodka]

Darth Vodka is refering to John Steinbeck's book, 'Of Mice and Men' Which is based on the poem 'To a Mouse' by Burns.

hardly based on it

 

[tedfoxxx]

hardly based on it

Oh I don't ****ing know, I was just trying to get involved.

 

[The Major]

Is there anyone who didn't have to read of mice and men at school?

 

[Darth Vodka]

Is there anyone who didn't have to read of mice and men at school?

GCSE classic

 

[tedfoxxx]

GCSE classic

I got a fecking A from it:icon_eek:

 

[Darth Vodka]

I got a fecking A from it:icon_eek:

and they say they are getting easier....


:icon_roll

 

[tedfoxxx]

and they say they are getting easier....


:icon_roll

That was with minimal effort, in fact I got two A's in English at GCSE level.....