The random joke thread

[Matt_B]

I lost my job at the gay gym today. I refused to pump some Iron.

Jeremy?

 

[MKFox]

I got caught knocking one off while sniffing my mates' sisters knickers yesterday. Wouldn't have been so bad, but she still wearing them at the time!, he went ****ing mental......Made the rest of the funeral very awkward for both of us!

 

[manxfox]

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I cant peanut butter things up my wifes arse.

 

[manxfox]

I cancelled my gym membership the other day. Wasn't working out.

 

[manxfox]

Whats the difference between a politician and a Flying pig? The Letter F.

 

[manxfox]

Whats round and Bad-Tempered? A vicious circle.

 

[manxfox]

They've got a special on down tesco. He's collecting trolleys in the car park.

 

[manxfox]

I once got into a lift with a rabbit,

It was a hare-raising experience.

 

[MHS]

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I cant peanut butter things up my wifes arse.

:icon_lol: :icon_lol:

 

[manxfox]

The guy who invented Polo's must be ****ing minted

 

[manxfox]

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave ?

The microwave stops when you open the door.

 

[manxfox]

What's the difference between Michael Owen, Princess Diana and George Best?

Michael Owen scored in France, Diana hit the post, and Best hit the bar!

 

[manxfox]

As for George Michael being a great musician, I agree. But while he's the greatest on the piano, I hear he sucks on the organ.

 

[manxfox]

not a joke as such but....

an anagram of George Michael is "He come, I gargle"

 

[MHS]

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave ?

The microwave stops when you open the door.

As for George Michael being a great musician, I agree. But while he's the greatest on the piano, I hear he sucks on the organ.

not a joke as such but....

an anagram of George Michael is "He come, I gargle"

Durham wont be happy with these...

 

[SwedeFox]

Tumbleweed, tumbleweed...

 

[bocadillo]

Whats round and Bad-Tempered? A vicious circle.

I thought that was a **** with teeth.

 

[LCFCmonkey]

Bloody 'eck. Did I wake up back in 1999??

 

[Orifice]

The lorry that overturned on the bridge was carrying Vicks Nasal Sprays.

It's all ok, the congestions gone.

 

[SJN-Fox]

I got sacked from the Salvation Army soup kitchen last night.

Ungrateful ****ers. All I said was 'hurry up for ****s sake, some of us have homes to go to'.