The random joke thread

[Longcliffe]

We've run out.

Oh aren't we so funny.

 

[spionfox]

I don't tell you to settle down, how to conduct yourself or behave.

I could do with some lifestyle advice. You can be the Gok Wan / Marje Proops of this forum if you want.

 

[Cate Fox]

I could do with some lifestyle advice. You can be the Gok Wan / Marje Proops of this forum if you want.

If he starts calling you girlfriend, I'm outta here...

 

[Blue Maniac]

Oh aren't we so funny.

:icon_lol:

If he starts calling you girlfriend, I'm outta here...

He should be banned the first time he calls tits 'bangers'.

 

[Longcliffe]

I could do with some gay sex advice. You can be the Gok Wan / Marje Proops of this forum if you want.

I've got no advice on that subject, try BM.

 

[Blue Maniac]

I've got no advice on that subject, try BM.

Gay jokes. You'll go far.

 

[Longcliffe]

Gay jokes. You'll go far.

I didn't think it was a joke, more of a statement. Are you the Talking Balls forum policeman?

Just keep you're advice to yourself and don't tell me how to act on this forum.

 

[Blue Maniac]

I didn't think it was a joke, more of a statement.

Based on what, your deep knowledge of my personal life?

Are you the Talking Balls forum policeman?

No. You've already asked a similarly stupid question.

Just keep you're advice to yourself

Your.

and don't tell me how to act on this forum.

At no point have I done that, but I suspect the mods may give you what I shall call friendly guidance if you keep blindly insulting people. For me, you can go and disappear up your own arse; I couldn't really give two ****s what you do. If you get much more juvenile, you'll just become the first ever inhabitant of my ignore list.

 

[Cate Fox]

oh dear....

 

[Blaby blue blood]

oh dear....

Could really do with a little emoticon lifting a handbag in front of its face followed by an 'oooooo'

 

[The Major]

80yr old man goes into see the priest and the priest is in the confesion box.

Old Man- "Hello father just thought I would let you know I slept with a lovely 18yrd old girl last night and I am 80yrs old, in fact we are now going out"

Priest - "Oh I see, well that is certainly not ideal firstly you are not married and then there is a massive age gap, I have heard some bad things in my time, this although not the worst is not good she is 18 and you are 80 that is simply not very good. I will ask you to do 4 Hail mary's for this OK?

Old Man - "Ahhh father but I wont be doing the Hail Mary's as I am not a catholic"

Priest - "So why have you come here then"

Old Man "Oh Im telling everyone"

 

[The Major]

The wife was pissed off with me yesterday, while she was asleep i swapped her tampax with a party popper.

She's no sense of humour that woman.

 

[Motown Fox]

I take it she blew up.


Quite impressed that you pulled it off though

 

[Blue Maniac]

I take it she blew up.


Quite impressed that you pulled it off though

I don't think it really happened, Mo. I reckon the Major is lying to us for some reason.

 

[Darth Vodka]

I only make bad jokes about the Noble Gases

All the rest Argon

 

[Billyjof]

I only make bad jokes about the Noble Gases

All the rest Argon

And this one is equally as shit:

A noble gas walks into a bar. the bartender says "we don't serve noble gases in this bar." The noble gas ignored him. The bartender yelled: "Hey YOU! We don't serve noble gases in this bar!" The noble gas did not react.

 

[city-faithful]

I could make Chemisty jokes right now, sadly the all the good ones Argon.

 

[bocadillo]

I could make Chemisty jokes right now, sadly the all the good ones Argon.

Repeat - YOU'RE OUT !!

 

[Billyjof]

Repeat - YOU'RE OUT !!

Well done Boc, you really have to keep your ion them.

 

[RHYDAL]

Well done Boc, you really have to keep your ion them.

It'll turn into a furfural otherwise.