The random joke thread

[The Major]

My new party trick is to swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together..... Seriously.

I shit you knot.

 

[Darth Vodka]

I just bought an Advent Calendar for Jehovahs witnesses, behind every door is someone telling them to piss off.

 

[The Major]

The new Man Utd fragrance this Christmas....
Channel No.5.

 

[The Major]

I saw Suggs doing an advert the other day about kicking racism out of football.

That's madness gone politically correct

 

[bocadillo]

I saw Suggs doing an advert the other day about kicking racism out of football.

That's madness gone politically correct

That would have been funnier if I'd not had to look up who Suggs was.
:icon_wink

 

[MKFox]

:icon_bigg

 

[Blue Maniac]

I saw Suggs doing an advert the other day about kicking racism out of football.

That's madness gone politically correct

Nice.

 

[fitz]

I saw Suggs doing an advert the other day about kicking racism out of football.

That's madness gone politically correct

 

[The Major]

I can't believe theyfired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in

 

[Motown Fox]

Yeah they fired me as well for continually clock watching

 

[Matt_B]

Yeah they fired me as well for continually clock watching

I got sacked from the checklist factory; I was well ticked off.

 

[spionfox]

I was sacked from the whale processing factory. I was gutted.

 

[Blaby blue blood]

I got sacked from the RSPCA because I shagged a dog

 

[MKFox]

I got sacked from the deli counter at Tescos because I kept putting my dick in the bacon slicer.

How was I to know she was only 15?

 

[Blue Maniac]

I got sacked from the deli counter at Tescos because I kept putting my dick in the bacon slicer.

How was I to know she was only 15?

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

 

[OldGit]

I got sacked from the deli counter at Tescos because I kept putting my dick in the bacon slicer.

How was I to know she was only 15?

She was 15 the first time I heard this one. So she should just about be drawing her pension now!

 

[Motown Fox]

I lost my job as an electrician. The boss reckons I am too much of a livewire and my re-wiring job was shocking

 

[Blue Maniac]

I lost my job as an electrician. The boss reckons I am too much of a livewire and my re-wiring job was shocking

Wrong thread Mo?

 

[Orifice]

Wierd.

I lost my job a an orange juice factory because I couldn't concentrate.

 

[Han]

NORTH KOREAN NEWS AGENCY: Kim Jong Il dies whilst heroically defending North Korea from Godzilla attack.