The Fiver has often been struck by the similarities between Hollywood's Dave Jones and Cardiff City gaffer Leonardo DiCaprio. Aside from their shared good looks and philanthropy, their careers have progressed in near mirror image: while Jones donated $1,000,000 to help the relief effort in Haiti, DiCaprio's employers have been so generous with Cardiff's money that the club may now face a winding-up order over promised payments amounting to £175,000 that have so far failed to materialise.
Jones shot to superstardom with the film Titanic in 1997 the same year DiCaprio got his first Premier League management job with Southampton. In 2000, when DiCaprio was suspended from his post by Southampton, Jones was panned for a one-dimensional performance in The Beach. Then, in 2002, Jones bounced back with Catch Me If You Can. DiCaprio won Championship manager of the month in February.
But the latest twist in this shared saga is far more unsettling. In Jones's latest blockbuster, Inception, the actor plays Dom Cobb, a professional crook who plots to enter another man's dream and implant an idea that will change how said man acts when he wakes up. DiCaprio, meanwhile, seems to have pulled off the same feat in real life.
"It has been my dream to play my part in taking my hometown club to the Premier League," tootled Craig Bellamy today after signing for DiCaprio's Cardiff on a season-long loan. "I'm excited at the prospect of wearing the shirt and playing for the club I've supported since I was a boy," he continued, blithely unaware that just four short years ago he had told the world he was a
long-standing supporter of Liverpool.
But while the Fiver can only hope for a swift police investigation into one transfer, it continues to pray for a swift conclusion to another. James Milner's move to Bellamy's owners Manchester City looks set to go through after the club agreed to pay Aston Villa £16m and also give them Stephen Ireland in part-exchange. Milner has already agreed personal terms with City and is set to undergo a medical tomorrow before concluding the deal. So long as he doesn't fall asleep first .