give_us_a_wave
Well-Known Member
Roy F*****g/C*****g/Bastard Keane was today named as the new manager of Championship side Big Spending Leicester City (TM)
Keane,the former failed manager of mediocre sides in the top two tiers of English football said:
"This is great news for Leicester City,because I'm here & all their problems are over.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't me for 5 minutes so I could experience how amazing it must be to merely be in my presence.But then I remember that actually BEING me is better than anything in creation & I allow myself a little smile.
I'll be meeting the players tomorrow & running the rule over them & after I establish which 11 are the most eager to kiss my arse on a regular basis I'll be picking the team for the Leeds game accordingly.
These are exciting times for the club,the fans & the city of Leicester.As I'll be moving here to live they can even expect the weather to be better."
Keane,as a player the captain & most hated member of the most hated football club in existence (other than Leeds Utd) & a well known hacking,diving,referee baiting gobshite,has a mixed record in club management.
Having lead Sunderland to the Premier League & then kept them there for a season he left the following year with them mired in a relegation battle as the magic appeared to have worn off.Experts agree that this was in large part due to Keane having no fecking idea about man management,tactical awareness or planning of any kind & choosing to manage purely by bullying & an unshakeable belief in his own perfection as a human being.
This was followed by a cack handed attempt to lead Ipswich Town to a successful Championship promotion challenge which ended abruptly when it became clear that relegation was more likely.
Keane is also famously selfish & self aggrandising.While still a player & a member of the Republic of Ireland side that qualified for the World Cup in 2002,instead of looking forward to performing on the greatest footballing stage of all & proudly representing his country he chose to start a pointless row about who sat in the posh seats on the plane because he felt his arse wasn't being kissed consistently enough by the FAI & stormed off in a childish display of petulance.
Happily,the Irish side enjoyed a good tournament without him & his replacement Matt Holland was probably their best player.Oh fecking dear.
More recently,following the infamous Thierry Henry handball incident he revealed himself to be an ardent fan of cheating in football.Hardly a revelation to anyone who saw him play but refreshing to hear spelt out in words all the same.
Despite holding no job in the game whatsofeckingever at the time he selflessly appeared on TV & radio to inform the world that these things happen & everyone should just shut the feck up.
Henry was just being professional & that bloke at the FAI who said it was cheating is the same bloke I fell out with before & he's a c**t so there.
Keane also brings with him to the Leicester job the kudos associated with being a former Manchester Utd player which should ensure shitloads of interest in the Far East,home to both Leicester's owners & the largest concentration of United fans outside Surrey.
Exciting times indeed.
Keane,the former failed manager of mediocre sides in the top two tiers of English football said:
"This is great news for Leicester City,because I'm here & all their problems are over.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't me for 5 minutes so I could experience how amazing it must be to merely be in my presence.But then I remember that actually BEING me is better than anything in creation & I allow myself a little smile.
I'll be meeting the players tomorrow & running the rule over them & after I establish which 11 are the most eager to kiss my arse on a regular basis I'll be picking the team for the Leeds game accordingly.
These are exciting times for the club,the fans & the city of Leicester.As I'll be moving here to live they can even expect the weather to be better."
Keane,as a player the captain & most hated member of the most hated football club in existence (other than Leeds Utd) & a well known hacking,diving,referee baiting gobshite,has a mixed record in club management.
Having lead Sunderland to the Premier League & then kept them there for a season he left the following year with them mired in a relegation battle as the magic appeared to have worn off.Experts agree that this was in large part due to Keane having no fecking idea about man management,tactical awareness or planning of any kind & choosing to manage purely by bullying & an unshakeable belief in his own perfection as a human being.
This was followed by a cack handed attempt to lead Ipswich Town to a successful Championship promotion challenge which ended abruptly when it became clear that relegation was more likely.
Keane is also famously selfish & self aggrandising.While still a player & a member of the Republic of Ireland side that qualified for the World Cup in 2002,instead of looking forward to performing on the greatest footballing stage of all & proudly representing his country he chose to start a pointless row about who sat in the posh seats on the plane because he felt his arse wasn't being kissed consistently enough by the FAI & stormed off in a childish display of petulance.
Happily,the Irish side enjoyed a good tournament without him & his replacement Matt Holland was probably their best player.Oh fecking dear.
More recently,following the infamous Thierry Henry handball incident he revealed himself to be an ardent fan of cheating in football.Hardly a revelation to anyone who saw him play but refreshing to hear spelt out in words all the same.
Despite holding no job in the game whatsofeckingever at the time he selflessly appeared on TV & radio to inform the world that these things happen & everyone should just shut the feck up.
Henry was just being professional & that bloke at the FAI who said it was cheating is the same bloke I fell out with before & he's a c**t so there.
Keane also brings with him to the Leicester job the kudos associated with being a former Manchester Utd player which should ensure shitloads of interest in the Far East,home to both Leicester's owners & the largest concentration of United fans outside Surrey.
Exciting times indeed.
