Sitting down for a weewee

[LCFCmonkey]

Can't say i've ever wiped stadning up. You get a better clean while sitting i reckon.

1 sheet forwards, 1 backwards and 1 to polish.

 

[RHYDAL]

Gayest thread of the year

This thread cannot be happening. New depths plumbed.

There are only three legitimate reasons for sitting to take a piss.....

1. You're having a no.2 at the same time.
2. You're in an aircraft, ship or caravan toilet where standing is physically difficult, and the time taken to assume a stable position could result in seepage.
3. You have no legs.

Other than that, it's bum tonguing gay.

Dirty bastards.

You keep heading back into this thread as if you want to say something, but fear embarrassment. :icon_wink

Come on, we're all friends.

Nothing to add to dirty, bum tonguing, gay bastards.

Toilet seats were designed to lift, and zip flies/urinals were invented to facilitate man's dominance in the pissing quickly stakes. Failure to take advantage of these wonders of the modern era is an insult to the pioneers who invented this technology, to our soldiers around the world who are pissing behind trees and rocks in an orderly, statuesque, upright manner, and to the baby Jebus who doubtless soiled himself whilst upright on the cross. Hold your heads in shame.

 

[tedfoxxx]

1 sheet forwards, 1 backwards and 1 to polish.

I find it more effective and hygenic to screw 3 or 4 sheets into a ball and wipe, minimizes the risk of a finger slipping through the poo weakened paper.

To be fair it all depends on how clean a snip you manage.

 

[Han]

There's no way i'd risk wiping with just one sheet. That's plain daft.

 

[Blaby blue blood]

There's no way i'd risk wiping with just one sheet. That's plain daft.

I don't trust those Spaniards either!

 

[drummindefender]

You have to inspect the goods, especially if its a big un

 

[Macky]

[YOUTUBE]rBTBToJBAIk[/YOUTUBE]

 

[MKFox]

lol hello :icon_lol:

Oh my days! I can't believe I looked... ffs :icon_sad:

 

[Matt_B]

1 sheet forwards, 1 backwards and 1 to polish.

If it's been a heavy load I can get through half a roll, I don't think I've ever managed just 3 sheets.

Can't say i've ever wiped stadning up. You get a better clean while sitting i reckon.

Indeed, ridiculous to do it standing up.

 

[Han]

If it's been a heavy load I can get through half a roll, I don't think I've ever managed just 3 sheets.

I know the feeling - usually after a heavy night onut.

The only problem with that is you run the risk of clogging the system up.

 

[Matt_B]

I know the feeling - usually after a heavy night onut.

The only problem with that is you run the risk of clogging the system up.

Mercy flush

 

[spionfox]

I find it more effective and hygenic to screw 3 or 4 sheets into a ball

Yeah, but then you need to take care how many balls you throw in the pan or the bastard won't flush.

Ought to be a law that EVERY toilet HAS to have a bog brush and plunger.

 

[Matt_B]

Yeah, but then you need to take care how many balls you throw in the pan or the bastard won't flush.

Ought to be a law that EVERY toilet HAS to have a bog brush and plunger.

Ew no, I don't want a bathroom containing a brush that is basically covered in shit, just sitting around.

 

[Matt_B]

More importantly, what are peoples opinions on squat-and-surfing? I am current here using my laptop whilst giving birth to a baby otter, anyone else in the club?

 

[spionfox]

Ew no, I don't want a bathroom containing a brush that is basically covered in shit, just sitting around.

Go on then, even after several flushes have dealt with the log how do you get rid of the shit stains on the porcelain without a brush.

And yes, it's fun to try and piss them off but usually you're empty by that point!

 

[LCFCmonkey]

More importantly, what are peoples opinions on squat-and-surfing? I am current here using my laptop whilst giving birth to a baby otter, anyone else in the club?

I quite often sit down to take a leak and venture onto Talking Balls. I've been known to take a good pooing session to play Football Manager. I signed Bruno Berner during one session which included a splashback into the cornhole. Rather than wipe it dry, I thought it better if I left it to air.

And also, the "one sheet" post was a quote from Red Dwarf. I've been caught out whilst low on toilet roll before and have to have a hefty lump of paper.

 

[tedfoxxx]

Yeah, but then you need to take care how many balls you throw in the pan or the bastard won't flush.

Ought to be a law that EVERY toilet HAS to have a bog brush and plunger.

Not long ago, a bit worse for wear, I was sick at my mates house and passed out shortly after (classy I know). God bless him, he cleaned it up with a whole packet of wet wipes and left them in a bucket until the morning. The plum tried to flush them all at once however, causing a massive blockage. No brush, plunger or wire coathangers in sight, I dived in armed with a rubber glove and a biro. It was like something out of Trainspotting and therefore I agree that all toilets should be equipped with cleaning utensills.

 

[Leesoh]

Dear oh dear. And to think Mr H criticised women after seeing the Dulcoease advert....

 

[Blue Maniac]

What a horrifying discussion.

 

[Matt_B]

Go on then, even after several flushes have dealt with the log how do you get rid of the shit stains on the porcelain without a brush.

And yes, it's fun to try and piss them off but usually you're empty by that point!

I leave em. Let the missus sort it out.

In all seriousness though, if you drop a couple of sheets in before you drop this problem is a thing of the past.