Speculation The hysterical and annoying, but traditional, totally unfounded summer 2022 rumours thread

[tedfoxxx]

Okay. So that’s ****ing vile.

‘The Pope gives me the horn. When I saw him lying there in state he looked so ****ing peaceful….. who did the makeup for the Pope’s funeral?’

 

[Miles Away]

Yeah, but living over here you must run into that point of view every now and then.

Indeed.

 

[popillius]

‘The Pope gives me the horn. When I saw him lying there in state he looked so ****ing peaceful….. who did the makeup for the Pope’s funeral?’

They got rid of all the hair from his nose.

 

[tedfoxxx]

They got rid of all the hair from his nose.

Have you been reading my diary? You knew I liked the and and.

This is a very ****ing deep rabbit hole Pop, lets leave it there. Safe to say I’ll be toasting Dud tonight and humming the one about encouraging a bloke to jump out of a burning building.

We are miserable sinners. Filthy ****ers. Arseholes.

 

[popillius]

Have you been reading my diary? You knew I liked the and and.

This is a very ****ing deep rabbit hole Pop, lets leave it there. Safe to say I’ll be toasting Dud tonight and humming the one about encouraging a bloke to jump out of a burning building.

We are miserable sinners. Filthy ****ers. Arseholes.

You know that **** had the audacity to say ‘ahh I’m dying’. Well, I just left it.
Yeah, best leave this one….

 

[tedfoxxx]

You know that **** had the audacity to say ‘ahh I’m dying’. Well, I just left it.
Yeah, best leave this one….

Actually one last thing, best line in The Horn is when they’re discussing Valerie’s knob.

‘Come to think of it, which I do….’

Genius.

 

[popillius]

Actually one last thing, best line in The Horn is when they’re discussing Valerie’s knob.

‘Come to think of it, which I do….’

Genius.

You know what that means. Valerie is Jesus.

 

[Brown Nose]

It's looking increasingly likely that we're going to sign 25 year old Amine Harit from Schalke. He's an attacking midfielder (not a wide player) who is best at carrying the ball forward.

According the Sky, we want a loan but Schalke want a permanent deal at around £8m.

He's a character that has shown flashes of excellence but has had a very mixed career in terms of both on field and off field issues (e.g. https://www.dw.com/en/schalkes-amin...nfiscated-over-fatal-road-accident/a-44474813).

His best position seems to be exactly where Tielemans plays for us. Or Praet. My deduction is that we would only be signing him if one or other of these two are going.

 

[tedfoxxx]

You know what that means. Valerie is Jesus.

Dear ****s in charge of religion, your ****ing guidebook or whatever it is don’t half give me the horn.

 

[Miles Away]

Dubravka to Man United - Further evidence we aren't interested in a #1.

 

[SilverFox]

Dudley Moore died from one of the most rare, slow, lingering deaths imaginable. Maybe Jesus and God had their revenge for the profanities.

This is a weird attempt at humour right?

 

[SilverFox]

It's looking increasingly likely that we're going to sign 25 year old Amine Harit from Schalke. He's an attacking midfielder (not a wide player) who is best at carrying the ball forward.

According the Sky, we want a loan but Schalke want a permanent deal at around £8m.

He's a character that has shown flashes of excellence but has had a very mixed career in terms of both on field and off field issues (e.g. https://www.dw.com/en/schalkes-amin...nfiscated-over-fatal-road-accident/a-44474813).

His best position seems to be exactly where Tielemans plays for us. Or Praet. My deduction is that we would only be signing him if one or other of these two are going.

Okay so he killed some one and tried to flee the scene. It’s a no from me, and that is before getting balls deep into the fact his club are desperate to sell him.

We don’t need another Jack of all. Are we trying to relegate ourselves.

 

[Jimmy Lad]

‘The Pope gives me the horn. When I saw him lying there in state he looked so ****ing peaceful….. who did the makeup for the Pope’s funeral?’

I didn’t even know he was dead

 

[SilverFox]

 

[Graz]

Brilliant news, let's hope we get two decent ones in.

Interesting that all 3 are Bundesliga, we haven't signed many from there before.

Maybe it's just coincidence, but wondering if our new chief scout who hasn't joined yet has any connection (or if Southampton have signed many from BL while he's been there)?

Could be a million other reasons, just found it interesting.

If we're signing two centre backs I'd rather one has Prem experience though, but probably limited options now - still think we should've gone for Tarkowski.

 

[Graz]

We really should've been in for Dubravka IMO

 

[popillius]

Dear ****s in charge of religion, your ****ing guidebook or whatever it is don’t half give me the horn.

My favourite line in the whole thing.
Unbelievable genius.

 

[tedfoxxx]

My favourite line in the whole thing.
Unbelievable genius.

Peter Cook would probably still be alive if he hadn’t said that.

 

[popillius]

We really should've been in for Dubravka IMO

We have much more pressing concerns. CBs are a priority.

 

[Graz]

We have much more pressing concerns. CBs are a priority.

They definitely are. But I'd hope we can work on multiple deals simultaneously - otherwise we're a bit ****ed with 3 days to go.

He's going to Man Utd on a loan to buy, option to buy for £5m and doubt his wages are huge as he hasn't had a new contract since Newcastle's takeover - should've been affordable alongside new centre backs.