The random joke thread

[RHYDAL]

why the long face?

Neigh.

 

[Matt_B]

I can't believe it. Me and my wife were sitting watching TV when the founder of Apple just walked into the house and took all our Mr Sheen!

****ing Jobs, coming over here and stealing our polish.

 

[Blue Maniac]

I can't believe it. Me and my wife were sitting watching TV when the founder of Apple just walked into the house and took all our Mr Sheen!

****ing Jobs, coming over here and stealing our polish.

:icon_lol: Twat.

 

[drummindefender]

I likes.

 

[fosseboy83]

1976 Robert De Niro - Taxi Driver , 3 Oscars 2 Emmys

2010 Derrick Bird - Taxi driver, 1 Oscar 3 Tonys 2 emmys 1 gary 2 janes, a mark and 2 billys

 

[Macky]

Prior to departure, Fabio Capello requested a traditional South African welcome for the arrival of the England players.

A separate bus was hired for: James, Cole, Johnson, Ferdinand, King, Lennon, Wright-Philllips, Heskey and Defoe

 

[Darth Vodka]

a man goes to his local drug dealer and asks for two small bags of coke.

"Sorry," he replies, "I'm a Theo Walcott."

"What are you talking about?" asks the man. The drug dealer says: "Well, I've got a bit of speed and f*** all else."

 

[SJN-Fox]

My girlfriend said she wanted something nine inches long, hard and full of spunk ...

So I gave her a sock from under the bed.

 

[tedfoxxx]

My girlfriend said she wanted something nine inches long, hard and full of spunk ...

So I gave her a sock from under the bed.

Jaysus, don't start the wanking into a sock debate again.:icon_roll:icon_lol:

 

[Macky]

Rob Green has trained today and in 3 hours has had over 4,000 shots fired at him without conceding a single goal.

Tomorrow, Heskey and himself will be training with the rest of the squad.

 

[Harbro-Fox]

What do you call a man in a pile of leaves.............Russel.

 

[Jeff]

What do you call a man in a pile of leaves.............Russel.

Have you just had an ice lolly?

 

[RHYDAL]

What do you call a man in a pile of leaves.............Russel.

What do you call a man with a slice of bacon on his head.......?
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head.................?
What do you call a man with a car on his head......................?
What do you call a man with a horse on his head...................?

 

[GazLCFC]

What do you call a man with a slice of bacon on his head.......Steve
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head.................Bryan
What do you call a man with a car on his head......................Mark
What do you call a man with a horse on his head...................Keith

Correct

 

[Macky]

What do you call a man with a horse on his head...................?

Sarah Jessica Parker

 

[MHS]

Sarah Jessica Parker

:icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

 

[RHYDAL]

Sarah Jessica Parker

Penelope 'Seabiscuit' Cruz would have been closer.

 

[Blaby blue blood]

Penelope 'Seabiscuit' Cruz would have been closer.

Never seen a horse look like that best hold me back if I do tho! :icon_razz

 

[Blue Maniac]

Penelope 'Seabiscuit' Cruz would have been closer.

She'll eat carrots right out of your hand.

 

[homer]

Should have gone to Specsavers...:icon_conf