The random joke thread

[RHYDAL]

She'll eat carrots right out of your hand.

:icon_wink

Any road the answers if you didn't already know were......

Hamed
Cliff
Jack
Roy Kinnear

Bonus question.....what do you call a man with two slices of bacon on his head?

 

[lazzer]

:icon_wink

Any road the answers if you didn't already know were......

Hamed
Cliff
Jack
Roy Kinnear

Bonus question.....what do you call a man with two slices of bacon on his head?

:icon_lol:

 

[Blue Maniac]

:icon_wink

Any road the answers if you didn't already know were......

Hamed
Cliff
Jack
Roy Kinnear

Bonus question.....what do you call a man with two slices of bacon on his head?

Mohamed?

 

[RHYDAL]

Mohamed?

And for the money.....what do you call a man with two slices of bacon on his head in a lane round the back of some houses?

 

[pork pie fox]

And for the money.....what do you call a man with two slices of bacon on his head in a lane round the back of some houses?

Mohamed Ali :icon_cool

 

[SJN-Fox]

My girlfriend threw me out of the house yesterday because she caught me having sex with her sister.

Silly isn't it? A fully grown woman being jealous of a 12 year old.

 

[Graz]

My girlfriend threw me out of the house yesterday because she caught me having sex with her sister.

Silly isn't it? A fully grown woman being jealous of a 12 year old.

:icon_lol:

I'll use that one

 

[LCFCmonkey]

This one time, England won a game at the World Cup...

 

[Longcliffe]

What do you call a man with a hotel on his head?

Norman Tebbit

 

[spionfox]

What do you call a man with a hotel on his head?

Norman Tebbit

Good Lord, the Aberfan ones will be next..............

 

[The Major]

my wife ate some peanuts last night and suffered a violent reaction.




They were my peanuts, so I kicked the shit out of the fat cow....

 

[Motown Fox]

Just heard that Oxo are bringing out a special cube to mark the World Cup.
It will be in white foil with a red cross marked on it.





It will likely be called "Laughing Stock"

 

[SJN-Fox]

To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on"; **** off!

You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "**** her up the arse!

 

[MKFox]

To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on"; **** off!

You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "**** her up the arse!

Yes we did, and you got a 2 month ban from the Towcester Odeon

 

[lazzer]

Yes we did, and you got a 2 month ban from the Towcester Odeon

That was for having a hole in his pop corn bucket when he offered it round.

 

[fosseboy83]

"It's like WWII. The French gave up, the US
shows up at the last minute and the Brits are left to face the Germans"

 

[SJN-Fox]

"It's like WWII. The French gave up, the US
shows up at the last minute and the Brits are left to face the Germans"

And as for the Itallians ....

 

[Matt_B]

A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters.

"Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?"

"Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead."

"Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?"

"Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead."

The third daughter moaned: "Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!"

"Be quiet Fridge," said the mother.

 

[Blue Maniac]

A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters.

"Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?"

"Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead."

"Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?"

"Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead."

The third daughter moaned: "Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!"

"Be quiet Fridge," said the mother.

Not funny.

:icon_lol:

 

[The Major]

A new bride went to her doctor for a check up. Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor "What's that thing hanging between my husbands legs?"

The doctor replies "We call that the penis." The new bride then asks "What's that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?"

The doctor replies "We call that the head of the penis. The bride then asks "What are those 2 round things about 15 inches from the head of the penis?"

The doctor replies "Lady, on him I don't know, but on me they're the cheeks of my arse!"