MKFox
New Member
:icon_razzi got raped by some mime artists the other day
they did unspeakable things to me
:icon_razzi got raped by some mime artists the other day
they did unspeakable things to me
:icon_lol: you should be ****ing banned for that.Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
Oof.
Hmm.Relatives of Raoul Wallenberg have agreed to feature in a new Tropicana campaign aiming to reduce food and drink waste.
The Wallenberg family is famous for saving a lot of juice.
Hmm.
:icon_lol: Have you seen the Bible gag?You're being generous there I think
I went to a disco last night and they played The Twist, so I twisted.
Later on they played Jump, so I jumped.
A bit later they played Come on Eileen, and I was kicked out!
I rang work this morning and said "I won't be in work today as I've got anal blindness!"
The girl in HR said "What's that then?"
I replied "I can't see my arse getting out of bed this morning!"
After our divorce I stabbed the missus to death, but before I dumped the body I cut her fanny out and kept it as a souvenir!
My new girlfriend has no idea what I mean when I say I'm going upstairs to have a go on the ex box.
Took a bird home after clubbing last night, and after a few drinks at mine we went upstairs.
While we were taking our clothes off a voice came from the bed and said "I hope that's not that fat bitch from last week".
The bird said "what the **** was that?"
I said "it's that bastard memory foam mattress...."
what do you call an Aussie that can handle a bat?
A vet
What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champaign ?
A waiter.
:icon_wink
I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music.
When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music.
Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "****ing kids!", and it played some Garry Glitter.
Paddy lost his ear on a building site.
His friend Murphy shouts out "is this it?".
Paddy looks and says "no, mine had a pencil behind it".
P | Pld | Pts | |
1 | Leicester | 46 | 97 |
2 | Ipswich | 46 | 96 |
3 | Leeds Utd | 46 | 90 |
4 | Southampton | 46 | 87 |
5 | West Brom | 46 | 75 |
6 | Norwich City | 46 | 73 |
7 | Hull City | 46 | 70 |
8 | Middlesbro | 46 | 69 |
9 | Coventry City | 46 | 64 |
10 | Preston | 46 | 63 |
11 | Bristol City | 46 | 62 |
12 | Cardiff City | 46 | 62 |
13 | Millwall | 46 | 59 |
14 | Swansea City | 46 | 57 |
15 | Watford | 46 | 56 |
16 | Sunderland | 46 | 56 |
17 | Stoke City | 46 | 56 |
18 | QPR | 46 | 56 |
19 | Blackburn | 46 | 53 |
20 | Sheffield W | 46 | 53 |
21 | Plymouth | 46 | 51 |
22 | Birmingham | 46 | 50 |
23 | Huddersfield | 46 | 45 |
24 | Rotherham Utd | 46 | 27 |