The random joke thread

[Blue Maniac]

:icon_lol: ok, how about....

Old lady says to her husband "my nipples are as hot today as they were 50 years ago".

Husband replies "they ought to be, one's in your coffee and the other's in your porridge".

:icon_lol: I thought it was funny.

:icon_redf

 

[The Major]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHx8y1rFjdk[/youtube]

 

[manxfox]

There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line 2

 

[drummindefender]

Roy Hodgson- the worst 'pool manager since Michael Barrymore

 

[MKFox]

[youtube]yHx8y1rFjdk[/youtube]

 

[MKFox]

Roy Hodgson- the worst 'pool manager since Michael Barrymore

:icon_bigg

 

[dave666]

Roy Hodgson- the worst 'pool manager since Michael Barrymore

Kenny Dalglish- The worst caretaker since Ian Huntley.

 

[Cate Fox]

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak


Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.


After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

 

[fosseboy83]

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak


Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.


After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo:icon_wink

 

[Cate Fox]

:icon_lol: Ok, how about...

A priest and a Hindu are making toast. The priest exclaims "look, there's an image of Jesus in my margarine!". The Hindu replies "I cant believe its not budda".

:icon_bigg

 

[Orifice]

:icon_lol: Ok, how about...

A priest and a Hindu are making toast. The priest exclaims "look, there's an image of Jesus in my margarine!". The Hindu replies "I cant believe its not budda".

:icon_bigg

Grrrrrrrrr:icon_bigg:icon_bigg:icon_bigg

 

[Blue Maniac]

:icon_lol: Ok, how about...

A priest and a Hindu are making toast. The priest exclaims "look, there's an image of Jesus in my margarine!". The Hindu replies "I cant believe its not budda".

:icon_bigg

Are you getting these from Mong Boy?

 

[fosseboy83]

Are you getting these from Mong Boy?

see thats funny, cos its true:icon_bigg

 

[Cate Fox]

Are you getting these from Mong Boy?

Mong boy can't string more than two words together!!

 

[MKFox]

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak


Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.


After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.


A priest and a Hindu are making toast. The priest exclaims "look, there's an image of Jesus in my margarine!". The Hindu replies "I cant believe its not budda".

nice work mrs

 

[The Major]

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only
3 Survivors; Damian, Darren and Deirdre.

They manage to swim to a small island and they lived there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt absolutely
horrible about what she was doing.

She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed herself.

It was tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get through it and,after a while, nature once more took its inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel
absolutely horrible about what they were doing.










So they buried Deirdre.

 

[Profondo Rosso]

I recently got sacked on my first day working as a carpenter in a theatre...

...They asked me to leave before I made a scene.

 

[Motown Fox]

I have heard on the grapevine that Gary Glitter wants to take over at Aston Villa if they sack Houllier cos he's heard the strikers are Young, Bent, and maybe Keane!

 

[FryattFox]

I have heard on the grapevine that Gary Glitter wants to take over at Aston Villa if they sack Houllier cos he's heard the strikers are Young, Bent, and maybe Keane!

Apparantly Gerard Houiller asked for the money to buy Benzema off Real Madrid. Randy gave the swift reply of 'get bent'.

 

[FryattFox]

My mate got arrested for stealing chocolate bars from a shop. He always seemed to have a few Twix up his sleeve.