The random joke thread

[spionfox]

There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil

 

[Jeff]

There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil

The version I heard (30+ years ago), is:

There was a young man from Rhyl
Who swallowed a nuclear pill
His sexual organ was found in Glamorgan
And his nuts up a tree in Brazil

 

[RHYDAL]

The version I heard (30+ years ago), is:

There was a young man from Rhyl
Who swallowed a nuclear pill
His sexual organ was found in Glamorgan
And his nuts up a tree in Brazil

The version I heard was...

There was a young woman called Alice
Used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
Her tits up a tree in Dallas

 

[RHYDAL]

There was a young woman from France
Who got on a bus in a trance
Everyone f*cked her except the conductor
And he came twice in his pants

 

[FryattFox]

So I asked my Swiss friend the advantages of living in Switzerland. He said the flag is a big plus.

 

[pork pie fox]

So I asked my Swiss friend the advantages of living in Switzerland. He said the flag is a big plus.

I flew back from a ski trip In March from geneva. There were 2 English girls in the queue in front of me. One of them turned to her friend and declared that she'd just worked out why she'd seen so many first aid flags over the past few days

 

[Darth Vodka]

Elvis, my pet mouse, has just died. He was caught in a trap.

 

[Motown Fox]

Elvis, my pet mouse, has just died. He was caught in a trap.

Did we not go down this road on Sunday?

 

[Darth Vodka]

if it's a scoop, it's because I can't be arsed to search the thread

 

[fox58]

what have Las vegas and Coalville got in common?






they are the only places you can use chips to pay for sex

 

[The Major]

There was a policeman from Clapham Junction
Whose penis just wouldn't function.
For all of his life
He fooled his poor wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon.

 

[OldGit]

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks just wouldn't scan
When asked why this was
he answered becos
I always put far too many syllables in the last line my man
(or the 1st line in the major's case)

 

[spionfox]

I always put far too many syllables in the last line my man
(or the 1st line in the major's case)

:icon_bigg

 

[FoxCovert]

There was a policeman from Clapham Junction
Whose penis just wouldn't function.
For all of his life
He fooled his poor wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon.

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks just wouldn't scan
When asked why this was
he answered becos
I always put far too many syllables in the last line my man
(or the 1st line in the major's case)

:icon_bigg

There used to be a very helpful poster who came on to explain the meaning of jokes, i wonder if he might pop back to help Major out with his limericks:icon_bigg

 

[The Major]

There used to be a very helpful poster who came on to explain the meaning of jokes, i wonder if he might pop back to help Major out with his limericks:icon_bigg

I don't write these jokes you know :icon_wink

 

[RHYDAL]

There was a young woman called Cleo
Whose fanny was made of blue steel
She got all her thrills
From pneumatic drills
And an off-centre emery wheel

 

[Billyjof]

There was a you man from Vancouver
Who enjoyed sucking off his knob with a hoover
His wife ran away suspecting he might be gay
When catching him in a rather suspect (vacuum induced) sexual manoeuvre.


Wow I feel like Marshall Mathers in that film 8 Mile. Mmmmm Brittany Murphy, what a shame.

 

[Billyjof]

Brittany Murphy, they broke the mould on that one (joke works on several layers)

 

[RHYDAL]

Anyone know a maths teacher who can tell me how many times 30 goes into 15?

 

[Darth Vodka]

Anyone know a maths teacher who can tell me how many times 30 goes into 15?

magic, I've nicked that for me facebook status