Ask Melton

[Melton Fox]

Dear Melton,

I have asked my Mama what will I be? Will I be happy? Will I be sad, do you know what she said to me?

D. Day
California.

Did she say "We hope it's chips it's chips, we ho-ope it's chips it's chips"

 

[MKFox]

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

 

[Melton Fox]

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European?

 

[MKFox]

African or European?

:icon_wink

 

[Chuck T Masala]

Did she say "We hope it's chips it's chips, we ho-ope it's chips it's chips"

That's so spooky Melts, were you there?

 

[Melton Fox]

That's so spooky Melts, were you there?

No, I deployed a man.

 

[SJN-Fox]

I once deflowered a man.

:icon_eek:

 

[Leesoh]

Dear Melton

I quite often get these urges to kill people who annoy me. Should I give in, or carry on resisting them?

Many thanks
P Doff

 

[Melton Fox]

Dear Melton

I quite often get these urges to kill people who annoy me. Should I give in, or carry on resisting them?

Many thanks
P Doff

No, give in. They must die.

If my body were without pain and physical constraints, I too would be killing some **** today.

 

[fcukcov]

............I too would be killing some **** today.

Does this relate to the current Mrs Ch4mbo as well?

 

[Chuck T Masala]

Dear Uncle Melts,

I like breasts, I think about them all day. Should I be worried? What should I take?

 

[fcukcov]

Dear Uncle Melts,

I like breasts, I think about them all day. Should I be worried? What should I take?

I would alos like to know the answer for this, as I have a friend with the same problem.

cheers


M Y Friend.

Hinckley

 

[MKFox]

Dear Uncle Melts,

I like mens bottoms, I think about them all day. Should I be worried? What should I take?

ffs, keep it in the public toilets will you...

 

[Chuck T Masala]

ffs, keep it in the public toilets will you...

But they remind me of hairy breasts..........................

 

[bocadillo]

Dear Mr Melton

This morning I opened a new packet of Shreddies. Stuck to the inside of the package was a little cellophane envelope containing three football cards. I saw immediately that the top one was Christiano Ronaldo so I threw all of them straight in the bin. I've been feeling guilty about this all day and am wondering if I should go back and go through all the rubbish to find out who the other two were.

Have you got any advice for me on the matter?

 

[Real Sharapova]

Dear Melton

I support a hugely unsucessful team in the, err, East Midlands, shall we say. Any ideas how I can cure myself of this most distressing and financially crippling of addictions.

Yours in hope.



A N Other Loser.

 

[Melton Fox]

Dear Uncle Melts,

I like breasts, I think about them all day. Should I be worried? What should I take?

I would alos like to know the answer for this, as I have a friend with the same problem.

cheers


M Y Friend.

Hinckley

Learn to wank better, or find some breasts that you're actually allowed to touch.

This should help relieve you of some of your tension.

Leroy, please feel free to pass this advise on to your friend.

 

[bocadillo]

ffs, keep it in the public toilets will you...

... and if you're going to use the Ladies, mind you don't bump into Dickov on the way out.

 

[Melton Fox]

Dear Mr Melton

This morning I opened a new packet of Shreddies. Stuck to the inside of the package was a little cellophane envelope containing three football cards. I saw immediately that the top one was Christiano Ronaldo so I threw all of them straight in the bin. I've been feeling guilty about this all day and am wondering if I should go back and go through all the rubbish to find out who the other two were.

Have you got any advice for me on the matter?

If it's "Knitted by Grannies", it should always go in the bin.

 

[Melton Fox]

Dear Melton

I support a hugely unsucessful team in the, err, East Midlands, shall we say. Any ideas how I can cure myself of this most distressing and financially crippling of addictions.

No, once a Daft ****, always a Daft ****.