Ask Melton

[DesertFox]

One is Phalacrocorax carbo and the other is Phalacrocorax arestotelis

Ah, but are we talking about the Great Cormorant in Britain or the Black Shag in New Zealand, which are in fact the same species (carbo)? Or any of the other 39 species?

The answer will be along shortly. Over to you, Melty-Babes....

 

[DesertFox]

More to the point, what's the air-speed velocity of a cormorant as opposed to a shag? (Unladen, naturally)

 

[Hector]

I fancy a Phalacrocorax arestotelis right now.

 

[highland fox]

I fancy a Phalacrocorax arestotelis right now.

Well go and have one or are you out of Andrex ?

 

[SJN-Fox]

I fancy a phallus in my arsehole right now.

Oh FFS, here we go agian!

 

[Hector]

Oh FFS, here we go agian!

Great! Finally somebody has obsecenely edited one of my posts. I feel I've penetrated the inner circle at last. :icon_bigg

 

[bocadillo]

I've been penetrated by one of the inner circle at last.

:icon_eek:

 

[Chuck T Masala]

:icon_eek:

Rights of passage or right up the passage? :icon_wink

 

[Jeff]

Rights of passage or right up the passage? :icon_wink

Or rite of passage :icon_wink

 

[Melton Fox]

dear melton,

theres seems to be a trend developing among afew tbers that i find deeply offensive and somewhat intimidating

In which case I suggest you either prepare for a life full of intimidation and offensiveness, or **** off to another forum.

 

[Hammond Organ]

Dear Melton,

I have only one testicle, which has left me distraught. I am unsure of whether to invade Poland or France, or should I go the whole hog and invade both?

A Hitler
Fatherland

P.S. Is it worth me searching the Albert Hall for the errant testicle?

 

[spionfox]

Dear Melton,

I have only one testicle, which has left me distraught. I am unsure of whether to invade Poland or France, or should I go the whole hog and invade both?

A Hitler
Fatherland

P.S. Is it worth me searching the Albert Hall for the errant testicle?

Dear Herr Melton

The above is a lucky bastard and should stop complaining.

Yours

Dr Joe Goebbels

 

[newtonfox]

dear Melton

where have you gone

yours

whatever

 

[Motown Fox]

Dear Herr Melton

The above is a lucky bastard and should stop complaining.

Yours

Dr Joe Goebbels

Or Dr No-balls

 

[newtonfox]

Or Dr No-balls

more like Dr one-ball TBH

 

[PFKAKTF FOX]

Dear Melts

I am a burly striker that signed for Leicester in January but since I have made the move I appear to have become the focus of blame and hatred from the fans despite a lack of service. Anyhoos also there is another fat useless **** in the team but the mongs love him !!

What should I do ??? Should I feck off elsewhere or stay and tell the stupid ****s to **** off ???

Confused

Stephen Howard

Ps If I hear that Du Du Du song one more fecking time !!!

 

[lazzer]

Dear Melts

I am a burly striker that signed for Leicester in January but since I have made the move I appear to have become the focus of blame and hatred from the fans despite a lack of service. Anyhoos also there is another fat useless **** in the team but the mongs love him !!

What should I do ??? Should I feck off elsewhere or stay and tell the stupid ****s to **** off ???

Confused

Stephen Howard


Ps If I hear that Du Du Du song one more fecking time !!!

He may a bit a useless cnut but is no longer a fat one.
PS I think you may hear that song a lot this season

 

[RHYDAL]

Dear Mr Melton,

Jay Bothroyd - Tortured, unrecognised genius or just another NWA?

Answer before 3pm Sat would be appreciated.

A. Druid.

P.S. Hope you finish above filthy Leeds.

 

[Melton Fox]

Dear Mr Melton,

Jay Bothroyd - Tortured, unrecognised genius or just another NWA?

Answer before 3pm Sat would be appreciated.

A. Druid.

P.S. Hope you finish above filthy Leeds.

If you consider yourself too good to play for Arsenal and have hissy fits on the touchline, I'm afraid to say you are a complete and utter tosspot with no appreciation for your own fortunate position.

Geniuses never go unrecogonised. "Unrecognised" geniuses are only geniuses in their own heads.

 

[RHYDAL]

If you consider yourself too good to play for Arsenal and have hissy fits on the touchline, I'm afraid to say you are a complete and utter tosspot with no appreciation for your own fortunate position.

Geniuses never go unrecogonised. "Unrecognised" geniuses are only geniuses in their own heads.

I don't, but I get the sentiment. As for unrecognised genius, where can I visit the statue of the guy who invented the wheel?